Wishing Well

I don't know the reason, but the blogging rate seems to have dropped here in the past two weeks. Maybe I'll just claim my usual - work is getting to me. Keep that raised eyebrow away, one CAN have employers who expect you to work. And one can be good at mismanaging time too. Both together lead to an awfully busy life. To add to it, thoughts about boyfriends 24x7 do not help. The extra 's' was just for kicks.

So the new year is almost here. Until end of 2007, every new year's eve I sat at home and sulked about my unadventurous life because of unadventurous parents. This year I am sulking about a research paper. Yes, sulking is the key word. You got it right.

Anyway. It's all in the name of a subtly romantic boyfriend. So it should be ok. (Don't try too hard to find the link. I'm writing like this just for fun.)

I'm wondering what 'special' thing can be done on the blog. The new year post was done three weeks ago. :-/

I wrote a nice senti piece about Dilli Haat, but somehow never got to posting it. I almost wrote about the superbly fun and the best ever Christmas I had. AND I really wanted to write about how it feels like to be in a normal relationship. But stupid Footprints, and submissions, and reports, and research, and projects fucked my head a little too much. :-/

I seem to derive some strange pleasure out of cribbing. Therefore, please note that I AM extremely thankful to the world that conspired the delay in my departure from Delhi, but I don't know what to do with all my luggage and the bloody 20 kg baggage limit! I would not have brought all the clothes for laundry, and all the shoes I have ever owned. If you're still wondering what the issue is - I was supposed to take a train back to Pune.

Joke of the day -
Guy to a waitress: "how do you serve this dish?"
Waitress: "How do we serve this dish. In a plate (with gestures suggesting what a plate looks like)".
I was there. At the same table.

Let's hope the new year is happy and peaceful. Enjoy it. Live it! :-)

Uh oh

I watched Ghajini today. Feel like writing my opinion here, but I'm adding a disclaimer: most people around me feel that I have no taste in movies.

It is a 3.5 hour experience in the hall, so choose wisely where you sit. That is if you get a ticket.
If you think violent scenes don't make you happy, skip it.
If you want to appreciate good lighting and smart shots with precision, you should really keep the violence as second priority.

And once you watch it, please come back and tell me why in almost 2009 we need a story on ugly looking villain (thick gold chains and gold tooth) with uglier men by his side killing the hero's heroine and the hero taking up revenge as his sole motive in life? Did we not get enough of those through the '90s? Or is it that my assumption that Aamir Khan tries to make intelligent movies is incorrect? No doubt he acted very well, especially in the second last scene where he does complete justice to the expression of 'revenge'. But what happened? A police officer just walks into the criminal's home alone, hits him with a baseball bat, ties him up and starts reading his personal diary? A medical student can really be as stupid as they showed? Actually yes, I watched the last episode of Roadies on MTV. There was a dumb BDS student there too.

One of the main problems I had with the movie is that it does not have a good flow. Things have been done just to keep it going. The inter-linkaging between past and present is bad.

A lot of people will not agree with me because most of the audience today applauded in the end. I'm guessing they liked it. Yes, it's not as crude and gross as the '90s movies that I referred to, and it's not as if you feel that you wasted your money on it, but I expected better stuff.


PS - I thought we were done with bloopers like different handwritings of the same person in two scenes. The funny thing was that it was not even two different bad handwritings. One was pretty and the other a mess. :O

December 22, 2008

Some things are too personal to blog about, but sometimes those things start moving from the periphery and into the middle of the brain and leave no space for the stuff that would let peace prevail. This is where writing takes over the rescue operation. But what if you are deriving pleasure out of the unrest? The conflict in the head and the resultant speed in work are another conflict if you really look at it. Because the same conflict hampers efficiency at some level too. Madness. Maybe people are right about the psycho stuff.

Nothing: 6 months, 11 days - 1 day - and the cycle begins again. Did I mention earlier that there are some things that I do not like? And that there are some people that I love? Ok.




IBM had said, 'you must be beyond excited'. I was, as usual, unsure of the extent of that particular feeling. And when I saw the face, I wanted time to freeze. That rush was probably worth the wait. I can't believe the day is over.

Bombarding with information or educating?

I visited a CGHS (Central Government Health Scheme) dispensary today. And it got me thinking. There were posters and notices all over the walls. Each giving details about various diseases, their symptoms, cure, treatment, and so on. A good thing insofar as it simplifies things for people and the awareness levels rise. My problem with the initiative is that there was no space left empty. And there were details of EVERY possible disease that is a problem in the country today - HIV, polio, TB, breast cancer, cataract, and the list goes on. I am wondering - how much can a person absorb in a 15-20 minute visit? Can there be a better way of doing the same? All issues are surely important, but is it possible to slow down this process of dissemination of information? Or does it work well the way it is right now?
What do you think?

Doing the jig alone

It had been quite a sucky day so far. Just one of those sad days. But I am thrilled right now! The third set of assessment marks for the first semester just came in. Still remember the first set of marks - I was in the bottom 20% or so of the class. Even though everyone said it does not matter, psychologically I could not come to terms with 'low' marks. The score gradually improved, and now I am out of the 'likely to be detained' list. Anything below 50 falls in that. I am perfectly fine with the marks that I have now. Not looking at topping or anything close to that. There is no concept of first division or anything here. As long as you are on the other side of 50, life is good. And so mine is. Friends on campus have all been this side from the beginning. I took time. But these are just internal marks. End sems' result still awaited. I am just hoping it gets space on the blog. 5 out of the 13 papers are kinda dicey. :P

AS (the deputy director) sent the mail with 'enjoy' in the subject line. We're usually not in a condition to appreciate his sarcasm. Today, I don't mind. :)

I know the world

It moved from being a funny morning to an uncomfortable one pretty quick. Today, while coming to work, I could put a name to every single face that I saw on the road. Stranger faces, known names. 'Uncanny resemblance' surely cannot be that common. I cannot possibly be missing so many people that I see everybody's face in strangers on the streets.
The mind has anyway been in a state of unrest since last evening. There is a new question that I am stuck with - why should I be forced to believe that what I am doing is wrong? In the same vein, I should not be doing that (directly or indirectly) to anyone else. But is it really as simple as it sounds? Who draws the line, and where do you draw the line? At times I feel this drawing lines business is such a petty one. Why can't we just let things flow?

I have never been a secrets person. I don't keep secrets. Rather, I cannot keep secrets. But I've still managed to keep one. It is my biggest weakness till date. Some people would be aware of it, but I have never acknowledged it in front of anyone but me. It's sad though that I have been made to believe that it is a weakness. No, not self pity, just an observation. I am sure there are many people like me - with the same 'weakness'. I am still unsure whether I want to change it or not, but (if) the day I do it, life will change. I will probably be a whole new person. As of today, I don't want to be her.

Another Round of Bullets

Here we go again!!

# Wrote more entrance exams, got more rejections too.

# Underwent physiotherapy for the back; crazy electronic stuff – MRI scans as well as the shock-like stuff that I was subjected to.

# Travelled by air for the first time.

# Interviewed and got selected at Businessworld. I did not join, but just the fact that they accepted me made me super happy because they’d rejected me after the written test during college placements.

# Went to the IIML, NOIDA campus with Shady for his interview there. Nothing achievement-like for me, but somehow it’s just a memorable day.

# I read a lot of fiction during my superbly lazy and useless days at home in the first half of the year.

# I also made my calendar which I keep mentioning all the time anyway. Received such a lot of appreciation that I am thinking of making another one for next year. But where is the time?

# I HAD to begin my PG this year itself, and so took up whatever was available.

# To kill time, I also did some freelance editing work. Earned a fairly decent amount of money too.

# Got my laptop and camera - Dell rocks, and so does Canon!

# Did a very very scary thing before leaving Delhi. Was just glad that Avan was with me in it.

# The biggest step of the year – moving away from home!

# Experienced (and still doing) the hostel way of life. It’s got its ups and downs, but I settled in pretty quickly.

# The same Businessworld also published a write-up of mine in its online version. Thanks, Jayant. :-)

# At the freshers’, I drank a little alcohol. Still bearing its consequences!

# I also went trekking on campus. No big deal for the residents of the place, but it’s got its due on the blog earlier.

# One of the major defects of the year – mouth ulcers! They drove me nuts for two entire weeks as I had to live on flavoured milk, idli and sugar.

# Something that made me super-duper happy was buying a plant. It was a very significant step because it gave me a sense of independence that is hard to explain.

# This year’s birthday was, well, insane! The video that friends made for me and the crazy time we had at McD’s was quite an unforgettable experience.

# I tried to play TT, hoped I’d learn, but gave up ‘coz I could not stop playing badminton with those rackets.

# Got madly addicted to Grey’s Anatomy and now dying to watch the rest of the seasons.

# Art of Living is another something that somebody tried to teach me. I should have figured that if it was so simple, I would have learnt it by now anyway. The way I live life is an art in itself.
But the sudarshan kriya (system cleansing exercise) was an extremely strange and unsettling exercise. I still don’t know whether I liked it or not.

# Went to Moradabad for a week and lived a completely different life there. It was a very pleasant and heartening trip.

# Helped organise the herculean Footprints (figure the sad typo). Still entangled in post-event work. :-/

# I voted. Sheila aunty won as well. :-)

# Completed a year of commitment, no crushes and no flirting. :P

# I recently mentioned the latest late-night party.

# Gray has defined a completely new way of life.

# I have the capacity to absorb a lot more than I could last year. I still bother about the tiniest of things, but on a relative level, I find it easier to let go.

# Unfortunately, have lost control on my temper. I lose it more frequently, and I react too wildly.

# I slept through such a lot of movie screenings that even when I paid for a movie at a theatre I was falling asleep.

# The new places that I visited with my camera - Humayun’s Tomb, Jantar Mantar, Old Fort.

# Made lots of new friends.

# Have been mean to some old friends, not on purpose, but I realise I did it.

Most of December is still to go. But I thought of writing this today, so am posting it as well. It's been a bloody long post, but it was an equally eventful year as well.
As always, it's been a mixed bag of lots of happiness and lots of pain. But as long as I am smiling at the end of it, I'd like to believe I'm perfectly fine. :-)

Happy to You!!

Since all the updates came in last night, what is new today is that it’s my dearest Fuchsia’s happy birthday!!! It’s been two whole years. :D :D

So please be nice and leave warm wishes. Get out of the Reader and come to my page today. :D

The following define (more or less) what the blog has been all this while. And what life has been so far.

Mom, Dad, Bhaiya, Sumit, Tarun, Rohit, Neha, Ruhi, Mansi, Prashant, Subhadip, Avantika, Lynn, Amiya, Samridhi, Buji, Papaji, Nidhi Trehan, Priyam, Akash, Michelle, Sayantani, Deepak, Smita, Jayant, Ishani, Vidur, Saumya, Varun, Nidhi, Amrah, Vrinda, Sahil, Ridhima, Swetha, Priya, Ranjan, Venky, Akshay,Ruhi Jhunjhunwala, Daksh, Karan, Parul, Gopika, Robin,Sinjini, Megha, Anku, Bhaskar, Harpreet, Harry, Shadan, Satinder, Mati, Mrs Shourie, M Srihari, S Madhok, Rajiv Jha, Molly, Daman, Agneesh, Poonam, Patrick Dempsey, Abhishek Bachchan, John Stamos, RJ Nitin, Zakir Hussain, Indian Ocean, Kunal Kapoor, Rakhi Sawant, Vinay Pathak, Strings, Menwhopause,Amit Paul...

All the latest updates

I wonder why people think it is 'cool' to not do the work they should/are expected to do. How does evading work become 'working smartly'? Or is it that I fall in the category of 'idiots' who actually take on the responsibility of getting the work done? I really wonder. What I think is being professional and responsible, people think is stupid. So I also wonder how stupid opinions can be.

___

Something new - I was out till 12:45 at night in Delhi. For a party. With dad at home. A very scary and exciting thing that I managed to pull off. It was an alumni meet (dinner and dance) some of my batchmates had organised for the alumni based in Delhi. It was sad that very few people from my own batch turned up for it. But I had to begin with the 'networking' business. I suck at conversations if they are for the sake of it. But no excuses for PR professionals. So I did manage to talk to a couple of people at the meet. A good conversation with a couple of them too. Overall, a fairly decent experience.

___

A long conversation with Avantika made me realise that there are very few things that excite me today. And it was certainly not a very exciting thing to find out.
Or maybe it is only small inconsequential things that excite me. Isn't that much better?! :D

___

It's been too long since I wrote about Shady here. I don't know if it is unhealthy or something to be so obsessive and madly in love with someone... but I enjoy it and it is one of the best feelings in the world. There still isn't anything that beats how his laughter makes me feel, and the comfort that a conversation with him provides. 'Dying to see him' is just an inappropriate phrase to express how I feel today. It's been six months. The countdown is going to be too darn long.

___

The temperature is quickly dropping, and the back is losing its little strength too. Some things plain suck.

___

I slept like a log today. That is one experience that beats all else. :D

LOL!

Who would believe that I am actually lifting a concept taught in class and putting it to use at my NGO?! SOSTAC in MBA parlance, is used for developing business plans. The only difference here is that it is not used for business. But I am really doing it!!! Hee hee... it is so funny. Thank Madhok, people. He is not a bad teacher. And this brings back the memories (already) of the group with whom I worked on selling and getting Swiss chocolates to compete with Cadbury's in India. A much more serious issue at hand here though. Shhhh....

Colour Schemes

At age 13, I was obsessed with black. Clothes, nail paint, shoes...they used to be all black.
From that I progressed to blue. Similar obsession.
After that I started disliking black. And the obsession with orange and green began. Orange was always on the side though. Green was just all over the place. I could not get enough of that colour.
And now, the newest colour that I am beginning to notice everywhere is purple. I have even started enjoying black currant ice creams. Green still remains, but the madness is reducing because it needs to share space with purple. They look good together too. :D
Avan's love for me has increased ever since she heard of this development. She heard of it first because I have never met anyone as crazy about purple as she is. Even her room's walls are purple. So I thought I'll share the 'good' news with her first. :-)


Did I mention here earlier that when I start earning a lot of money I am going to have a HUGE collection of bags? Today, while shopping with Mansi, I came across so many HOT bags that I wanted to steal them all. She did not like ANY though. We just walked for hours and came back home without anything. :-|
BUT I am going to buy lots and lots of bags in the coming years.

I voted !

There had been a campaign going on for the past couple of weeks - the ink on the finger after voting being the new fashion statement. I'm sporting it too!! :P
My picture on my voter identity card makes me look like a convict. And quite a horrid one at that. Today when I went to cast my vote, the people there could not even hide their surprise (actually their laughter) because they could not identify me on their list. One factor that made it harder was that I had my hair short cropped when I got that card made. It was a really funny exchange. :-)

This was the first time I voted for the government. The last time I voted on that machine was for DUSU and college elections in my third year. The guy I voted for did not win. I hope this time the candidate wins.
And I also hope those people on duty at the polling stations see more people through the day. The turnout did not look too healthy.

Mayhem

Mumbai was attacked. Perhaps India's worst ever. It is all over the media. EVERY ONE is talking about it since morning. So am I. As at 2140, I am irritated, frustrated, angry and perplexed. Suddenly everyone wants to not sit back and look at the drama, but stand up against it. Can someone PLEASE tell me what standing up against it means?
I do not want this kind of terror to plague my country either, but I am not in for a Rang de Basanti or a A Wednesday. A moment of extreme disgust does make me want to do something like that too, but on a more practical note... it's stupid, I cannot do it.
What else? Tell me... everybody who is saying 'raise you voice', what do you think should be done? If the authorities are sitting like jackasses and not raising THEIR voice, what should I do to change that? Vote? Yes, I am eligible this time and will exercise my right. Then what? I am sorry I am at my peak of cynicism today... but I really am feeling too helpless and frustrated. Ronak just sent an email and said that it is not the people or the physical loss that bothers him, but the rape of the concept of what a city/country/people represents that offends him. And I think I agree with him. We talk about the victims, but the truth remains that we are only bothered about people we know. Ok, I won't generalise. I'll talk about myself. It is the ideology behind it that bothers me.
And I feel torn. Yesterday I wrote about the dalits. Today I am writing about terrorism. And tomorrow I can write about the crime against women. Where does it end? How does it end? Will it ever end?
I hate to do this, but since morning I have been thinking about a discussion I had with friends in college a couple of weeks back. India is so burning with conflicts right now that we can easily see a civil war in the near future. Just have a bloody look at the pictures of one of the terrorists this time! He looks like one of us. Educated youth. What brainwashing must have gone into making him do what he is doing. The point is, if somebody could give him a reason to do that, can you imagine what people who are being ripped of basics of life can do?

I did recall

25th Nov was my 12th standard English teacher, Mrs Shourie's birthday. It took two days to finally remember who it was. I called her in the morning and talked to her after about two years. I had not wished her last year either.
Her birthday was always a big day for all ex-students. The year she retired, we took a huge cake and lotsa flowers for her. And her favourite sundae too. :) A lot of other teachers did not like the kind of attention she enjoyed, but she was a fun teacher. Very pleasant to talk to and unbelievably pleasant to look at considering her age. And many people stopped visiting school after she left.
It's nice to still be in touch. She sounded happy on the phone. :)

Grossly Evil

"Nineteen percent of households belong to a scheduled caste, 8 percent belong to a scheduled tribe, and 40 percent belong to other backward classes (OBC). Only one-third of India’s households do not belong to the scheduled castes, scheduled tribes, or other backward classes."

How many of these one-third are well-off? And how many of them get the kind of privileges that I get? Bull-shitting around with all the money of the world and weaving frivolous stories around pointless crap!

For two weeks now, I am studying literature on the current state of dalits in India. Living in this country can be such a bloody exasperating experience that I am in a state of disbelief right now. A small example - many dalits convert to Christianity to get rid of the caste that makes their lives miserable. But if they are living in rural areas, it does not make a difference at all. They are still considered to be the scum of the society and are treated the same way. The government denies them of whatever little privileges and benefits that dalits are otherwise eligible for, and does not register any violence against them under the sole Act (Prevention of Atrocities Act) that is made for them. The society does not accept them as Christians, and the government does not accept them as dalits. Running from pillar to post - not to get a bill cleared, but for their identities and an opportunity for a decent living. I mean, even wikipedia has the term 'upper caste Christians' on it! We're quite a unique nation. And these things are so deeply set in our minds that I really wonder if we will EVER be able to get rid of these issues. Suddenly clean drinking water seems like a much more achievable goal.

History never leaves you

-->

History never leaves you. No matter what you do, and no matter how much time passes... it just lingers on and on and on. My feeling for it is close to hatred. Not because I do not like my past, but because my thoughts around it are obsessive and compulsive. The bloody imagination does not stop and it completely takes over every sense. Life in the hills keeps me busy and away from all this. Living these two lives is quite a taxing process. I abhor the idea of surrendering to a set of unproductive thoughts! And I am still doing it. Every day.

It is yet another revelation of gray in my personal life. Experiencing the hating a part of self now. It sucks.

Guess the Sketch

I have been playing online pictionary for the past couple of days on Facebook. It is thanks to Amiya, of course. All such addictions come to me via her. But that's not the point. The point is that I cannot draw to save my life. All those who went to college with me would know. I never used to participate in the pictionary sessions because of the fear of being beaten up by team members. I go out to draw a bear and would end up making something that people would think is a rat. But since it's the virtual world and nobody can cause any harm, I tried my hand at it. And it turns out that I am not that bad. In fact, a lot of times I see others drawing something and feel that I could have depicted the thing better.
Nonetheless, I am still far from perfect. Sometimes I do end up drawing ridiculously funny things. The other day I got the word 'forehead'. Now it wasn't as much my fault as it was the trickiness of the word, but a lot of people felt I was drawing a ninja turtle when I was pointing to the forehead of a simple man. I also quickly drew a car which someone thought was a dinosaur... but what to do! It's a funny game and you have to beat time to score well. :P
But it's too addictive and way too much fun. Do try it out if you're on Facebook. :-)


I am forgetting some friend's birthday today. Just can't remember whose it is!! Hope s/he is having fun and does not kill me when I finally recall who it actually is.

Obsessions

A lot of people suffer from varying degrees of OCD. So do I. My OCD is nearing very high levels. I seem to have no control, and I keep doing/repeating things over and over again. It is pretty scary just as it is, and even scarier to do it while being fully aware of it. Not sure what to do about it...

Good News

In the month of July, my batch was briefed by the faculty about an event that we were supposed to organise in November/December across 21 cities in India and Dubai. The planning started right then. There were arguments innumerable and there were fights that I will never forget. I was in the Delhi team and the event was finally wound up yesterday. We were a team of 25 - default number because there were too many people in the batch who belong to this city, and we had an even larger team of undergraduate students to 'help' us in the execution stage. Now there were a number of spectacular things that we achieved:

• We did not fight after getting to Delhi. Team work in its truest sense. Loser freeriders were not given any importance because we stopped bothering about them.
• We raised sponsorship and we reeeaally raised sponsorship!! Talk to me - I was in charge of finances. :D
• Can't say this for others, but I managed to remain friends with all my friends on the team. Many other teams saw friendships taking a toll because of differences on professional grounds, but we really did sail through. And I'm pally with many more people today than I was with before we started working together.
• The man I hate is just hated more and I could not care less.
• Delhi is not high on an academic kind of culture. Bring Mika to dance and your tickets/passes would be sold-out for sure, but tell people that there is a day-long educational seminar and they'd look right through you. And to manage a housefull (550+) audience till lunch, and have a huge enough number sitting through the entire event is quite a feat achieved.
• Some feedback forms read things like - desperate to be back for the event next year (!).
  

So I wish all my friends in the Hyderabad, Chennai, Bangalore and Kolkata teams lots of luck for their versions of the same event coming up in the next few days! :-)

Another feat achieved in the past week is that I got my old Airtel number finally activated. My brother and I never worked together on anything else in the past the way we did for getting this number. Innumerable trips to various customer centres and innumerable raised to infinity forms that I filled and re-filled and finally a superbly nasty complaint to the nodal officer of the Delhi region worked for me. I got the number after exactly one month of roaming on Reliance which, by the way, also is another pain in the neck. I know that the reason of my death - whenever it happens - will be these telecom service providers.

These were the two main news for this weekend. I'll be back after a short break. Tada!!

Same old

Someone is managing the balance for me. :-)
Some more of 'never expected it to happen' is happening. Part of it is nice and part of it is annoying. Moving along...

Make it quick!

I realised day before that I do not remember when was the last time I had a good conversation with absolutely anyone. And it has been such an unsettling finding that I am now dying to meet some people I like talking to.

I cannot believe I never came across the word 'assay' before. It has such a simple meaning. Not that I read much, but why is this word not common?

Someone please help me see through tomorrow. It is going to be a crazy crazy day!!

I am going for Dostana tonight. Too excited to see Abhishek Bachchan after sooooo long!! Gay or not gay... it does not matter.

My handwriting has gone from bad to worse. Now even if I put extra effort to make it look nice, it fails me. Bloody hell!

My quilt is out. Yes, I am one of those who feel extra cold and need a quilt at 18 degrees. But it is sooo much fun sleeping with it. :D

My vibe/intuition system acts so strongly at times that it borders on being scary. But it's so always correct!

And right now I am listening to non-stop loud dhinchak music to keep myself awake at work. Phew!!

This one goes out to the one with poker straight hair!!

I know two Ruhis and both of them are big time suckers for attention - just like me. They will get bothered if you do not give them time and they both love the mommy way of things. It's incredible how they manage to be fun at the same time.
This post is for one of them. She sent me a shady senti email about how I do not consider her a good friend. Bledy.... these girls, I tell you!!

JHUNJHUNWALAAA..... I knock on your door every time I pass by it to bother you, not your roomie!! :-)
Muah!!

Reezarch

A little bored and sleepy. Right now I am sitting in a building that is yellow in colour. It is the second one - another place where I interned earlier had yellow buildings. The insides of every room are different here, and my room has an orange wall. Other rooms have red and yellow as well. It's niice! :-)
The culture here is different from all the other office places I have been in earlier. Indicus was also informal, but there the intellectual discussions never stopped. Pearson had people so loaded with work that most of them usually cribbed together, or the fire exit lot stayed out with their cigarettes and coffees often. Watson was most 'corporate' and professional. When people worked, there was pin drop silence around. When people were in the pantry, the talks were casual - movies, food, gossip, etc. And since I had my own gang, we always had our own thing happening at all times.
Here, there is no rush for anything. People work, but stay at ease. Lunch is generally quick, so the conversations are also limited. But since I am still new here, cannot comment much as yet.
The problem with research work is that even though the ideas are fun, all the reading and digging for information can really get to you. And somehow I keep coming in contact with some sort of research or the other every now and then. Right now I am working on Dalit issues, and just recalled last night that the deadline for the semester's research paper is less than a week away. Quite screwed if you think about it.

I also opened my personal Outlook account after three years, I believe. There were the corniest of emails from 2005 in it. The good thing is that I was not the only stupid one. There are a lot of emails from Jayant Singh, Amiya Sharma and Ishani Behari too. Hee hee...

Ok, I should get back to work. Will be back soon.

Title dedication to the Research prof who has apparently found a new job elsewhere.


Make that VERY sleepy!!

Edit, 15th Nov - How could I forget to add. This place has a very strong culture of shaking hands and hugging. ALL the time! :)

Moradabad, UP

I spent the past week in a land I find hard to describe in words. I don't know if I am the one living a detached life or if it is the majority of our country that is. The fumes that gave me an asthma attack in 5 minutes are what small kids inhale everyday when they work in brass workshops. And I could not digest how a family of 10 lives on Rs 1000 a month and a single rupee still holds value. I don't want to sound dramatic but it was embarrassing to be carrying a bag worth 2K and wearing a pair of glasses worth another 1.5K in such a place. And I am not even beginning to talk about other things.
At the same time, to see such splendid efforts being made by NGOs like the one I am working with was a totally heartening experience. For two complete days, all I felt was that I am incompetent. There is nothing I know better than those people except this one language. And it does not matter. At all! The kids who are creative are creative beyond imagination. The teaching system functions so well that it can compete with any of our public schools here. I couldn't see how my school was different from the one I visited. And to think that they have limited resources... it's plain sad.

There was an element which was quite pissing off too. The govt takes responsibility of maintenance of the city and even areas like Civil Lines were full of garbage on the streets and open over-flowing sewers. So you can imagine what the rest of the place is like.
Also, the place has heavy traffic but the first traffic signal was put up only last year. Beat it. Kids studying in good schools come home and ask what a zebra crossing looks like. It's pathetic.

Ended up being introduced to an RSS man in the hope we could get some sponsorship from him. Of course, nobody knew of this piece of information. Oh man, it was funny talking to a person from the 'Sangh'! :)

Aaaand you have to live there to see the kind of Hindi that is spoken by the locals. I could not even manage it while writing essays in school. If you and I say, ' आप इस बारे में क्या सोचते हैं', they would ask, "आप के इस विषय पे क्या विचार हैं ?" :O It was tough matching up to their standards.

We live on hopes.

P.S. - I travelled alone. :D :D

Yea, this is new too!

Experiencing a brand new way of life. I do not even eat anything other than the three meals. Nothing. HA!

And oh, the saviour in the evenings is Patrick Dempsey again. :D

Also, I am using my phone such that it is not on roaming, but with all calls free. Bledy!

this time that year

the subject matter here is not new, but you know me.
exactly one year ago i was troubled by nose-related leaks which lasted well over a month. this time too it's been about a month. i have been living with them for 22 years (school & college scrapbooks, and friends from all over would vouch for it) but to sneeze for at least a 100 times in one night is still beyond my capabilities.
but my facebook page is alive again. i uploaded pictures, and people left lots of comments. i am kinda enjoying it.
exactly one year ago, i was also solving the strangest CAT questions TIME could come up with. sumit managed to utter things other than PJs back then. he tried teaching me. 'twas quite a fun experience.
flashback went further into the past. two years ago, this time of the year was depressingly hard. i didn't know what i was doing (not that i know much today either). it's strange how we yearn for innumerable things, but the set of parameters for keeping us happy/sad is really tiny. at least i can say that for myself.
i am extremely sorry for this post with terrible punctuation, but i happen to be lying on my bed as i type with 2 fingers. i need to sleep but there is a strange, unsettling feeling that i am experiencing.

it was a long day today. bhai dooj, grey's anatomy, a wednesday, old fort, looong walk, laddoo, cold and photos. i wanted to visit school too - it's the 50th anniversary this year. but home makes me lazy. for now, i am just celebrating one year of having a decent boyfriend. that adjective can be used as such a sidey one that it might end up getting me a nasty look if only it was possible. but i am hopefully sure he knows of the ones that would go beyond 'decent'. anyway. i just love and appreciate the fact that he still reads this page.
please don't feel left out, i appreciate your bein here too. this reminds me, fuchsia is nearly 2 years old. older than 'vague thoughts'. this blog has managed to see me through much more. VT was only about a few constants in life if i remember correctly. and how i loved loving it!!

Diwali Bonanza

My wants start taking a stubborn form if I delay the process of fulfilling them by too long a time period.
I had been wanting to get a nose ring for a couple of months now. Made a small attempt in Pune also, but somehow it is very expensive there. So along with all the eatables, this was high on the to-do list for home. Today I had some time on me, so I thought I'll get this done with. Before that I had to go fight with people at Airtel, which I did, and quite badly. So there was greater motivation to go and make myself happy. Mansi refused to come along after the embarrassment she had to go through at the Airtel store thanks to me.
I saw the crrrazy Diwali traffic beginning to build up at 5:30 pm, found no auto from South Extension to GK 1, but still carried on. Reaching was still ok, I somehow managed, but I walked back most part of my return journey. No autorickshaw and no cycle rickshaw. Then no bus at the first bus stop on the route. At least 3 kilometres. ONLY for my nose ring. But it's feeling so cool!! :D :D

I also finished my design assignments. FINALLY. And if I may say so, my poster is looking HOT! :P

Family socialising tomorrow. Probability of something interesting happening is high. There might be an update here. :D

Honey, I'm Home!

Between July 3rd and October 20th, October 19th was the laziest day I had. Lying in bed and watching back to back episodes of Grey's Anatomy was an absolutely blissful experience. Watching Patrick Dempsey and his smile (!) was too much fun!!
I almost vacated the room that night and left for the city. Spent most part of the night at Vrinda's friend's place with ALL our luggage and reached the station at 3:00 am for our 4:00 am train to Delhi. It was thanks to me that we reached that early, and I was conveniently given 'mommy' status with dirty glares because I had decided to behave like MY dad and leave home early because of something known as 'unforeseen contingencies'. But people just do not seem to respect it. Hmph!
There were biases on the train, our seats were smaller than our neighbours' and we did not even have plug points on our side. All because we got seats that were on the side. So not fair! Those tiny berths were bloody uncomfortable. But there were a couple of 'firsts' that happened during the journey. I usually am too scared to hang from or sit on the doorstep of a moving train. But I did peep out for a split second. Felt a crazy rush!! :D What I also did was what I kept instructing the other two to not do for most part of the journey - got off at a station on the way. The train was running a little late and we reached Bhopal at about 8:00 pm. I was feeling a little suffocated and so Ridhima and Vrinda decided that I need 'fresh' air at a station. And not only did I get off, I also bought something to eat that was not packed. I have always been finicky about food and hygiene, and have considered food sold at stations to be the worst form of unhygienic food. But I bought it and ate it - with no force or even convincing required. And I did not even fall sick. Yayiii!!! I am sure some of you reading this bit are proud of me already. Yes, I have changed. :D
Did I mention? - my jinx continued - there was a small kid traveling with us. What fun!

Turns out Delhi is happy because it is seeing good weather after reeeaaally long. I am happy too. :P

Have been sleeping and eating all day. :D

Will update on more soon. Ciao!!

Ease in the air

I have never seen such a large number of people being as happy as my batch is right now. Some people have already left, the rest will leave between tomorrow and day after. A trip to home for most, and a trip that will last more than two months. We have forgotten that nobody even let us breathe for a day after exams because breathing exercises were more important. Anyway.
So everybody was going around hugging & jumping around, and I decided to go for the last meeting of the semester with my lappy - not to take notes but to play some music. (Btw, Dell rocks - 3 hours and still going strong!) For a change I was a disturbing element at the meeting. It was fun doing that amongst some really screwed-in-the-head idiots.
Swetha and I decided to walk up to the terrace with our music, and so the fun carried on. Dancing to dil ding dong ding bole and jaanleva is out-of-the-world kinda fun. Yes, I do have these songs on me.

In spite of the mad urge to get home, I know I will miss some of the people here. It's been fun.

Kausik baba at AOL, Swetha in a frame, and madness on my bed.

Walls also has good ice creams, and our local coffee shop always has madness around it.

Day 1 of semester II

Chopra, Shag S., Swetha and Venku Singh

Right before we got to know what AOL is. Please note the smiles.

I'm coming home!!!!!

I did nothing today(!)

Going and getting prints for a photography assignment is not work.
Working on a tiny presentation in a group is not work either.

So I did not work today.
I did not attend the academic workshop. Turns out it was nice, but then I do not care.
I also quit the Art of Living jazz... had too much of the physical and mental stuff they wanted me to do. And essentially, I wanted to sleep.

Wore a skirt(Pretty). Went to the city(finally). Ate good food (oh-so-finally). Saw the frill for the CYG - decent, nothing spectacular(bleh). Clicked on the street(STREET!). Had yumm faluda kulfi(MEETHAAA). Got the face cleaned(human again). Bought cute lil smileys to stick in my room(:D). Ignored all alarms and slept like a log( aaaah!). Had friends over and food+drama+bitching happened till 3:00 a.m.(nicey). I feel like watching some fun sitcom now.

I also took out my suitcase and cleaned it. Packing begins... coming home soon!!!

Oh, after spending more than three months here, an auto guy managed to take us for a ride. Yes, the chullu bhar pani idiom is valid. No excuses after handling auto guys in Delhi for so many years.

Now I shall sleep again. Attendance is one sad important word.

Did ya just turn over?

What follows is something that I wrote yesterday but could not post it.

+++

Semester I ended at 8:00 pm on October 11, 2008 after having conducted three exams in one day. That was also a new way of living academia that I experienced. From the average of 5 days that we used to get before every exam, and the 45 days before exam season for 'advance' study, here it was an average of 8 hours for two exams each day. A rather strange week for sure.

Stranger still - we used to get 2.5 months before the beginning of the next session. Here it was not even 24 hours. Semester II from 8 (oops, that was 9) am on October 12. Professional courses, I tell you! :P

But you have to be part of such a system to understand the good and bad things about it too. Also, the jokes.

So frustration levels were running VERY high last night. I wanted food. Good food. Or maybe ANY food other than what this 'mess' offers. Was kinda tired too, I had sneezed enough to lose 20K+ calories through the day, but a walk down the hill to a small dhaba for FOOD (yea, you knew that, didn't you?) was reason enough to gather strength. Food was the standard sweet and spicy mix, but I was all right. Got Dairy Milk and Slice too. :D

There is going to be Art of Living workshops through the week for the burnt out junior batch. Apparently there are five things we have to abstain from - alcohol, cigarettes, tea, coffee and non vegetarian food. Ha! I do not need the word abstinence for these. Let's see how this turns out to be.

++++

I am through with two sessions of art of living. Guess I will write about it all together at the end of it.

Happens

There are suddenly too many things I want to write about. But now is not the time. I shall write tomorrow, day after being a CHHUTI!!
As of now, strange excitement for no reason. Muted expression of the feeling is not nice. Therefore,
YEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

!!!!!!!!!!!! Tadadadadaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

AND OYEEEEEE.... FLICKR IS WORKING! WOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!

Goodness!

Everything happens for the best. Why journalism was ALWAYS a doubt as a career option is clear now. Because at least as far as academics of it is concerned - it SUCKS!
Nothing enlightening after the first lecture. And it is all hypocritical idealistic bull shit over which people argue.
It is just another business. Nothing else. Please pray I clear these papers related to this subject. I cannot see myself getting subjected to this EVER again!

And there are people who did a bachelors and are now doing a masters in it. Wow! I am so keen on knowing what they think they are learning.

2" to 30"

To make a dead woman run!

Flickr's fuckin' firewalled

....and since it is exam time, I am utilising every minute. :D