This Stage

So I am at a point where life revolves around the work that I do. All things exciting, boring, disappointing, and demanding are work-related. And I am enjoying it too. But the question, "so how is life beyond work?" leaves me with nothing to talk about. If the person across the table has no interest in how the government plays a rather important role in my client's life, I have nothing interesting to say. There is nothing I can make conversation about. Of course, I can talk about the people I spend close to 10 hours with every day, but if you do not know them, we are back to square one. And let me admit, more than not having anything else going on in life, it is the thought that nothing is going on that makes me slightly uncomfortable. It is peer pressure of a different kind. And since I love to take everything personally, I feel obliged (to myself) to ensure that I  am doing something new at regular intervals. And my not-so-lame list of "something new" for this first quarter looks like this:

# Went scuba diving

# Watched the beating retreat, live

# Started wearing contact lenses

# Wore heels to work every single day of February

# Started doing yoga

# Went for a (rather unfortunate) sufi concert at Humayun's Tomb

# Dressed up and looked good (per my standards) for a wedding that didn't directly matter :P

Next what I need is to see the Ladakh plan materialise. That is all. And of course, the 6:00 am yoga showing some results. That is all. Yeah. 

Notes to Self

Important to have opinions. But opinions that suit your audience. Not opinions that you believe in. Without exception!

Definition of "a people's person" is not what you always believed. Quite different.

Hold the words for that extra second, will help in the long run.

There is no such thing as greater good.

Nobody is on your side. You for yourself. Don't forget it, no matter how much time you spend with anyone.


I should begin a separate section on corporate learning. 

March Away

It's March, it feels like exam time year after year

It's March, it has the crap asthma weather

It's March, when I invariably get depressed

It's March, that indicates towards the loooong summer ahead

It's March, yes, I know the legs need to be waxed again

It's March, makes my skin cringe

It is March again, I feel low again, and there is no news that would lift the spirits.

Type X

I may not be old yet, but I am old enough to figure that people are not unique. There are no billion plus personalities. There are some very clear and valid personality types. People's behaviour has many common characteristics. Any given situation would have a similar reaction from every set of these similarly-wired people. I am happy as well as disappointed about this. Happy that it saves me energy insofar as I am not left guessing about people all the time. I can tell what reactions would come out of people. But it is unfortunate because, well, the universe of reactions is quite small. There are some standard things you can expect, and you invariably see them staring at you. It is so boringly disappointing. 

Block

Do words fail you when you are overwhelmed. Or do you get overwhelmed when the words don’t find a way out. 

Every Day

I am happy. I am anxious. I am at peace. I am irritable. I care. I ignore. I slog. I procrastinate. I smile. I snap. I aspire. I submit. I worry. I have faith. I blabber. I withdraw. Every day.

I have been floating. Drifting along, slightly unsure, mostly comfortable; in a self-created, small, protected universe. Every day.

Life overwhelms me on sleepy nights. The sun gives me energy to walk with my head high. People force me to learn lessons from their mistakes. This heart, it flutters without reason, without notice. Handling it is a demanding, full-time job. I have one other demanding, full-time job too. As of today, they consume all my time. And as of today, nothing else deserves my time either. 

Romancing Delhi

I love it when friends travel to Delhi for work. Robin was again in town, and this time he wanted to visit North Campus. This is why I love him. So Swetha and I took him to our beautiful world on Saturday. 

I visited after a very long time, and every turn brought back a lot of memories. From the moment the train reached the station, I had flashes of the past take over my mind. It was lovely. 

We said hello to every college, had the customary bhel puri and bunta, followed by noodles at Noodles. That was the crappiest meal in a very long time. Disappointments, yes. 

With this we should have guessed how the food would be

The weekend also had the second edition of Comic Con happening in my neighbourhood. But the crowds that were pouring in were a very discouraging factor. So I decided to meet Lynn at good ol' Khan, and moved from there to the gallery of modern art at India Gate. I was there earlier in the week too, because some online information misguided me about the timings of an exhibition I was keen on going for. Dawn Upon Delhi - Rise of a Capital. The exhibition is in keeping with the romance that I associate with my love for this city.  Photographs of late 19th and mid-20th century at display were an absolute treat! Original architectural plans of Lutyens and Baker, the parliament building under construction, photographs of elephants and camels at Tughlaqabad Fort & Red Fort, first Air India flight over the Qutub, old Yashica cameras, Delhi Darbar, an image of the statue of King George V at India Gate, and so on.... one hour so well spent! 

I did not bother looking at other art work because, well, it's just beyond me. Unfortunately, I don't get it. 

And most of this Monday, the 'extended weekend', is being spent working. :-/

The Fairy Tale Girl

I do not think I have acknowledged her presence in my life as it is deserved. She struggles with a lot of things that let her down, but is one person who has been very true to the friendship she and I share. I cannot claim to have done so, and I know she is aware of that too. She chooses to ignore. She chooses to be nice. She is important. 

It was always fun to hang out with her, is very dependable too, but she never crossed over for some reason. Surprisingly, in the last few months, I realised it was never too difficult. I guess it just needed time. 

She notices me when I feel I am lost. She pampers me when nobody else cares. She has adjusted to my awkward ways rather well. She hugs me every day even though I rarely return the gesture. She is the only one who thinks I am 'hot'. She is the only one who thinks I am a good photographer. She herself has clicked some of my best photographs. She is the only one who finds all my stupidities endearing. 

She is loud. She talks about potty. She likes Sex and the City. She loves vampires. She loves black. She knows how to wear make-up. She loves saying 'awww'. She loves the RAIN! A 'type' very easy for me to feel, ahem!, otherwise for. But it's Priyam. Not a type. 

She is always the one behind the lens. She quietly absorbs. She is the giver. She worships her parents. She does not let go. 

From addressing me as 'Bhardwaj', she has now moved to 'Doggu'. Rather drastic. But I know I would not have let anyone else call me that. There are very few things that I have a clear image of in my head. There are very few things that I am sure about. One of them is how I want her future to pan out. From where I am, I wish well. 

Minds Without Fear

I repeatedly listened to this song on my Port Blair-Kolkata-Delhi flight earlier this month. Among other things, the resonating sound was something I felt like not letting go of. And the view from my window? Snow-capped Himalayas in the distance. They accompanied me almost the entire distance from Kolkata to Delhi. I have accepted the invite. Just need to finalise the dates.

Who Cares!

I do not remember the last time I felt nice going out of my way to be nice to someone. It just leads to sore disappointments. Nobody seems to be able to appreciate it. Nobody respects it. That is an unfortunate fact about our generation.