Transformation Year

I

I do not think of the current state of my body as a special post-30 phenomenon. The body is what it is, different from others' who are in their 30s, and quite obviously different from my own 20s. There is nothing profound or astonishing about the changes in its form or preferences over time.

However, there are some things that, to me, are more sensibly measured in established time units: year-on-year personal progress which is easy for me to see because of the annual reflections post.

< the sun lovingly disarms the body and mind >*

II

2018 was my year of transformation. At the end of 2017, I wrote about how I worked on resurrecting my confidence through that year. The new year opened up a new playing field for that confidence. Professionally, I got the space I'd been looking for for years, to spread out and ground my feet. Personally, I made a(nother) new attempt at managing the excess weight and this time the effort stuck. The two things fed each other - owning my space at work strangely gave me the confidence to power through the initially daunting task of changing the way I ate, and improving my diet gave me energy and clarity I had never experienced before. It was a rare win-win for which I am grateful to a lot of people who made it happen. It set the tone for many things that happened through the year...

# Firstly, I lost ten kilos. It was an all-consuming experience. I felt uncomfortable when clothes first started getting loose. It was as though a part of me was leaving me and I didn't know how to be in my own skin. There was one day when I didn't even want the change. But the change was undeniably exhilarating. I obsessed about it and people around me patiently encouraged me. I reflected on my life-long battle with being overweight and partially managed to see my size independent of me. I realised, growing up, the only options were to be skinny or fat. There was no in-between. And I was never skinny. But it took 32 years to truly realise that I was never fat either (even though I now see old photos and notice fat I couldn't see earlier). That friends and family didn't just say it because they loved me. That boys, men, aunties with nasty words didn't know better. That said, I don't yet feel confident enough about maintaining the new habits and weight now.

# I ate more vegetables in 2018 than I ever did. It sounds inane but for someone who doesn't eat meat I hardly used to give myself any options for food. Pumpkin and saag were two big break-throughs this year. There were also a lot of new types of experiments in the kitchen. My mother hasn't been happier.

# I got promoted at the beginning of the year. I badly wanted it. And that's the farthest I wanted to go in that job.

# I looked for a new job for ten months before landing on an opportunity that had interest both ways. I got the job. It has a few things that have me excited. It's early days though.

# I went to the south of Spain. Gaudi is God. Orange trees stretch for miles at end in the countryside. I fell into a pit while appreciating some almond trees - there was pain, blood, laughter, crying and some scars that have stayed.

# I also went to the south of France. It's pretty but overrated. And I SO do not relate to the high-flying life of the Riviera, nor to the trashy, flashy life of Cannes. The best discovery of the region was Fragonard - buy their perfume if you get a chance. And one for me too!

# For C's birthday, Ruhi, C and I made a road trip to Peak District. Our Airbnb had pear and apple trees in its backyard and sheep in the front yard. There is so much peace to draw from such places once you're done jumping up and down with excitement! I'm getting excited thinking about it now, nearly six months later as well.

# For his birthday we also went to the BBC Proms for a piano recital. He was happy, and I just enjoyed the fabulous ambience and music.

# I went to the ER again - this time I got great service from the NHS because my emergency sounded really scary. For a change I was scared too. This was in February.

# At the end of the year in November, I went to the ER in Oslo. Even before I arrived in Oslo, I'd noted my sole aim for the trip to not slip on ice. But slip I did!

# Ruhi kindly showed up to help out in both emergencies.

# I bought my first red lipstick. I'd toyed with the idea for a while, experimented a bit as well, but the one I found is the perfect one.

# There's a small place called Rye in England. It can make for a nice day-trip from London. Except my trip was rainy and not nice.

# My office temporarily moved to WeWork in Aldgate because of 'The Great Flood of Wigmore Street'. That's what we called the accident that involved our office's roofs falling down thanks to some blocked pipes on the floor above ours. Those three months were a new kind of London experience, including a LOT of days working from home and getting so much other stuff done.

# We went back to Tuscany - this time during the harvest season. We stayed at a vineyard, the air smelled of grapes as we drove through Chianti, the food was amazing as ever, and C upped the game further for my birthday celebrations.

# And then there was Kenya! So much of it was like India, and so much of it was nothing like I'd ever seen before. It was a true exotica-meets-nostalgia experience with all the face-to-face encounters with lions, cheetahs, African elephants, giraffes, rhinos, and others.

# One Saturday in the summer we drove to the outskirts of London to Enfield to Parkside Farm, where you can pick your own strawberries, blueberries, other berries, onions, beans, and all kinds of veggies!! Pay for what you pick and off you go! The left the car smelling of strawberries thanks to all the child-like excitement with which we shopped. I LOVED IT and totally recommend the experience for anyone who visits in the summer.

# A very different kind of trip was undertaken with Ruhi after she demanded a girls-only vacation. I went on to Skyscanner and checked where we could go for the cheapest flights. A place called Carcassonne came up in the search. I had never heard of it, so I searched for what it was all about. Looked nice and legit - and off we went! Pretty chateaus, lush green fields, French wine, bread, non-touristy experiences and a lot of talking! We ended up sending each other postcards, not knowing we were doing so until we received them days later.

# I went back to Berlin - this time for work. But I managed to spend some nice time with T (I love that boy) and did some graffiti as part of a team-building exercise. It's fun but those fumes from the colours are brutal.

# As you can tell, I travelled a lot in 2018. There were many more work trips as well. At the end of the year, my employers paid for a new passport because I'd made 19 work trips in the three years I was there. That's 57 stamps!

# I watched more DDLJ.

# I went for an evening of Shakespearean theatre at the Westminster Abbey, which was amazing in itself, and then we bumped into Pankaj Kapur(!).

# I started 'gardening' in my first floor home without a balcony. Yes, it's possible. You should do it too. It's rewarding to see a seed grow into a plant that later flowers.

# I went for a pottery class which was a lot of FUN. Damn these things are expensive af in this city!

# I experienced south Mumbai through two work trips. It was quite clearly not the Mumbai life I dislike.

# It snowed like crazy in the spring and I spent an afternoon clicking photos in my favourite Hampstead Heath.

# I went back to learning how to drive (I think I write about this topic every year). I got the best instructor in the world. I drove and drove and drove and then I failed my exam because of bad judgement at a turn, which was a result of out-of-control nerves. But I did not give up this time and finally got my licence at the end of the year. It is such a gigantic win that I cannot do anything to describe it. I'm still terribly nervous about driving on my own though but hopefully I'll overcome that as well. *fingers crossed*

# My lovely team at work organised a fabulous send-off for me before Christmas and then I went to India for a month.

# The India trip was tiring and hectic, as usual. To top it I contracted bronchitis and sinusitis in Delhi's gas chamber.

# The busy trip meant I could not get around to finishing and publishing this post on time. But here I am - six weeks late to the party.

2019 is already all-consuming but I am very available in the evenings doing nothing, watching Netflix.

*thanks to the luxury of access to a sunny terrace on 26 December. 

Another year down!

The uninteresting thing about this past year is that it was part-success and part-failure. What is notable though is that I was acutely aware of the shortcomings that led to what I believe were failures, and I tussled with my mind through every moment I spent with myself to overcome what that awareness was doing to my mind.

My conversations with myself have reduced considerably over the past few years, but I remember reassuring and reminding myself of the good things on many-a-walks to and from the tube this year. It is safe to say that 2017 has been about resurrecting, protecting and boosting my confidence across every aspect of life.

It was a somewhat slow year though, with no events and milestones comparable to the past few years’. But maybe that is what I needed to be able to reflect, work on the confidence and think about the future. I had given up on future-planning in 2007. And again in 2010. And again in 2014. Let’s see if 2018 can be different. But we’ll come back to that another time. Let’s first drive through 2017 and tell me if you see a trend through it.

It is hard to remember the highlights given the poor performance of this journal this year. But here’s what we have…

# In January, I returned from a holiday in India to my first maternity photo shoot on a biting cold day. It was fun and resulted in another assignment within weeks, which was already an improvement over the previous one.

# I also did a baby shoot and enjoyed myself more than I expected to.

# I missed a wedding in Goa that I’d have liked to attend, not least for the fact that the teetotaller C had champagne there and I would have liked to enjoy his company in that light-headed state too.

# I gave running a serious go for the first time. I prepared for and ran a 10k in the spring. It was hard work. I didn’t credit myself enough for it knowing that I could have done a lot better and that there are much bigger milestones to achieve in that space. I did realise the value of it immediately (less fat and better health) but it was much later (when I tried to resume running after a few months) that I realised what I had managed was also considerable. I closed the year with a 5k on yet another crazily cold day before I went off for a final holiday with the family in India.

# C was the biggest support through this business of running. I don’t know if I would have been able to do what he did, or if I had even been able to do what I did, without him.

# I started the process of getting a driver’s license AGAIN. If I hit my death bed before getting this document, I might just classify it as the biggest bummer of my life.

# We travelled differently this year. Instead of many small trips, we did two long ones (Greece and Italy) and a few domestic ones.

# Greece was special because there I trekked 16 kilometres through one of Europe’s longest gorges, Samaria. #personalbest and all that. And it had lovely beaches. And some amazing drives. Plus good food with feta cheese in everything. And the world’s best oranges.

# My tablet got stolen in that country too!

# But what do you know, my new phone got stolen in London!

# We bought a used car, a Mini, and made a few special trips to the English countryside - New Forest, Bath, Castle Comb, Epping Forest and Wotton.

# We also realised that we got conned with that car and so we sold it after several painful and costly attempts at its upkeep.

# I personally don’t regret it because not only did it teach us a thing or two about cars, but I got to explore and experience places in a manner that was otherwise impossible.

# I discovered rapeseed fields in the UK which are exactly like our sarson ke khet!

# I drove past sarson ke khet in Rajasthan!

# I hope you realise sarson ke khet is an I-love-DDLJ-and-am-a-romantic special!

# I bought my first bikini.

# And I bought a pair of boots that I had been looking for, for three years – black, leather (not suede), knee-length, flat and comfortable.

# I bought more Batman memorabilia – from cufflinks to doormat – for the mister.

# I experienced heavy snowfall for the first time during one of many work trips to Oslo.

# I had a massive fall in the snow. It was effing painful but hilarious given that I was walking with a funny bunch of colleagues who laughed at me like teenagers do in such situations.

# One of the Norway work trips had an overnight meeting in a cabin in the mountains three hours from Oslo. That venue may just top my list of take-aways from this job.

# I had a mini crush on a dashing and absurdly handsome colleague. It was several months ago but I still cannot believe my eyes every time I see him. Maybe I am still crushing.

# I received the most articulate and pointedly negative criticism of my career. This was followed up by a rather embellished appreciation by the same man the morning after. And then a large bottle of alcohol for good work a few weeks later. Corporate joys.

# Birthday was a surprise trip to the mountains in Scotland! This included C writing to my manager and getting a holiday approved without my knowledge. Thank goodness it went well.

# Priyam sent me a hand-written card.

# The mom-dad duo visited London!

# During that trip, I discovered some new things about my dad and my relationship with him.

# Mom could not get over the floral delight of London’s fake summer and I am so glad she could experience it.

# I did another trek – between two coastal villages in Cinque Terre, Italy – on a day so hot that C took his shirt off during the trek. The views were spectacular but I wasn’t wearing the right shoes.

# Tuscany was a dream and I cannot believe I used to judge people who picked Italy when given a choice to travel to one country in Europe from India.

# I visited limestone caves and saw stalactites and stalagmites 15 years after I first learned about them in Chemistry class.

# C also tried a local wine in Tuscany which he loved so much that we went fine-dining to the only restaurant in London that served it and later ordered an entire case of that red for home!

# Went on board the London Eye.

# Awkwardly accessed free food and drinks at an airline lounge for the first time.

# Too many people announced pregnancies while I still interrogate the purpose of having a child.

# I took my first staycation and I think should plan more of those for the next year.

# Sahil and I met after over three years.

# I tried resuming Zumba but I just cannot seem to find the right instructor and class. The one in Abu Dhabi has been hard to match.

# Ruhi moved to London!

# Avan came to spend a night with me and we spoke all night! It felt as though a year’s worth of burden came off my mind.

# I saw a gorgeous sunset in Udaipur.

# I started taking 1:1 coaching for professional development.

# I watched the goddess, Abida Parveen live! Sigh, the goosebumps!

# I also watched Aditi Mittal live (ahem) and admitted to being a connoisseur of toilet humour.

# I got excessively bothered by the actions and existence of someone I dislike.

# Suvvir finally seemed to start thinking beyond cars.

# And I luckily managed to make it to his 5th birthday party.

# I got gifted a tiger ornament from someone at work who believes that it is my spirit animal. It is hard to describe the feeling it gave to my battered heart.

# I took a trip with family to Jaipur. The last time we all travelled together was in 2013.

# I was diagnosed with restless legs syndrome. Meh.

# I had another root canal.

# I thought about starting something of my own.

# I let the mane grow to its longest length yet, and the recent haircut was the cheapest of the last five years (because it was boring). It is ironic that fashionable London has made my hair boring – all thanks to its humidity!

# My sugar addiction got worse. I’m open to help you might have to offer.

# I got a new manager at work. I resisted working with him (an Indian male) when I first heard about him. But I am thankful for his influence on my mind.

# I had to give up on yet another relationship. I can’t believe this keeps happening every year. Now waiting for a damn steady state.

# 31 is a very boring number.

# I have decided to learn python in the new year.

# I met one of the super-bosses from the past and was surprised by how warm and forthcoming he was!

# I spoke with one of the other bosses I used to admire, and was disappointed by his manner.

# I went to the Suraj Kund Mela for the first time. What an over-hyped and underwhelming carnival!

# 2.5 years down, and I am still struggling to withdraw my provident fund!

# New Year’s Eve was quiet last year, and I have a feeling it will be even quieter this year. 

Long Read

2016. The year of Brexit. The year of Trump. The year of proxy wars. The year of ugly politics the world over. Another year of irreparable damage to nature. The generations to come will have a lot to study about this year. Whatever form our species takes in the coming centuries will also have much to understand how we go extinct. 

In the past, friends from India and I have dwelled over how we form and represent a small, perhaps one per cent of India’s population. It is widely understood that India is a complex beast but we often lose ourselves in our little bubbles and get frustrated with the things that happen (or not) in the country. 

The events of this year have reinforced just how disconnected our bubble really is from reality. To vote for the UK to stay in Europe and be shocked at the results was a rude shock for many like me living in major cities in the country. But what it did do was readjust my compass to make an effort to understand how most people are thinking. 

Trump kept shocking and entertaining us through most of the year but after Brexit, I did not rule out the possibility of him winning the election. The shock when he won was at the people who could not believe it. The heartbreak and emotional turmoil that it caused was also interesting for me to observe. Obviously, it was more visible among American friends and colleagues but I have never before witnessed that kind of response to a political event. Obama’s 2008 victory came with such positivism that I didn’t make much of it then. Of course, in 2008, I was more consumed by being on that hill top, submitting assignments, crushing on nature, attempting to make a long distance relationship work, picking up on the world of the questionably wise, old monk that I probably did not even register much beyond the fact that the US had a new president. 

These memories of 2008 are making me shake my head and smile as I sit here on a disputed window seat of a Dreamliner on a long haul flight to my old home, Abu Dhabi. A young desi family in true desi style just sat on my seat and expected me to take their seat elsewhere in the cabin when I arrived. Of course, I did not choose seat number 79 to give up on my window. And so I refused and made a kid get up. I felt a little cheap but only a little. 

Being on an Etihad aircraft to Abu Dhabi also brings back memories. It is already two years since that as well. A lot of that time was bitter and negative but I often remember the good times spent in my breezy studio by the beach. And so I am glad to be hitting AD even if for an hour at the airport before I reach Delhi on a holiday! I have made several work trips home this year but most of them have been hectic and stressful. And this one is tad special as I will go to my parents’ home straight from the airport after more than a year. And with all that, I justify dancing in my seat to dhinchak Bollywood numbers. I have a feeling these headphones aren’t the greatest and so people around me can not only see my bobbing head but also clearly know what’s making me do it. But who cares!

2016. A new job. More travel. A new house. A lot of negotiations. New relationships. New culture. A learning curve in relationships. Weight gain. Same old pattern of health issues. Some clingy fragments of the past. A few anxieties about the future…..shall we dive deeper? 

Let’s go.

# The new year began with an active chase for a job which finally worked

# I continued to engage with the last employers but these latest interactions with the local office were also a darn shit show and I finally figured people are the same world over and got over the awe I was in with that company!

# I do owe my current job in part to some fine people from that last job and I am thankful for it

# I visited Sicily which was heavenly for the sun it gave my eyes and my body when I was beginning to die of London’s endless winter, for the brilliant food it offered in veggie form, and for the bloody brilliant time those three days were!

# I also visited Amsterdam and experienced its canals, space cakes, tulips, windmills and the different air even if the city was busier than I had imagined or would have liked

# C trained for and ran a half marathon in record time. I went and cheered at Wembley stadium. I experienced the easy feeling of pride and I also experienced the much harder feeling of inspiration and motivation

# Nine months later I finally acted on that inspiration (still in part) and signed up for a run myself – a 10k to begin with. I hope and pray I can prepare for it in a good way

# We didn’t make a trip we wanted to because it involved trekking for 16 kms through a gorge and C didn’t want to have me risk going for it unprepared. We have now booked that trip for May of 2017.

# I consumed a lot of sugar and have a worrisome extra five kilos on me

# I tested for diabetes, thought one of my biscuits was my last sugary treat, but the test was negative and I continue on 

# Pragya visited a couple of times and we managed to add an interesting layer to the friendship

# I witnessed completely juvenile Whatsapp politics and wished maturity for some people

# I travelled a bit too much for work, but then I also earned the bronze tier on British Airways because of it. An early check in and avoiding queues is a good enough benefit for now.

# We went to Gran Canaria for our first anniversary and I cannot begin to describe what the sun there did for my body and mind. Whatever it did for our relationship was incidental. Maybe I will someday log that travel, but for now, know that it is a gorgeous place, it stays warm throughout the year, Brits love it, and I totally know why!

# Got involved in a high profile work event with the biggest global CEOs. It was a tiring but interesting experience that involved lunching on a fancy boat on the Thames and dinners at the Globe and Cutty Sark

# Mom and dad moved homes in Delhi and with that I partially lost a home in my home city. The one I got married from was home for 19 years

# Some more friends had babies and I will soon stop telling my mother about these developments just as I had stopped telling her of people’s weddings a few years ago

# I celebrated a very colourful Holi at work

# And I had some awkward conversations about India’s independence with a few British colleagues

# There were a few weddings in the UK – an Indian-German one, an Indian-British one and a Indian-Polish one. I loved how personalised the experience was for guests. 

# I also attended a Hungarian wedding in Budapest and amusingly was one of the few ‘foreigners’ who were treated special by the hosts and their families. This also included a high energy series of dances with the groom’s 70-year-old father

# In Budapest, we rode on a tram route (over)rated on the list of top 10 scenic rides in the world. That said, Budapest is a gorgeous and lovely city!

# And then there were weddings I missed

# I was mandated to join a session of improv comedy. I was so worried that my lack of spontaneity will let me down that I had a couple of drinks before going in for it. But it turned out to be one of the fun-est things I have ever done!

# I also went for a murder mystery game and did quite poorly at it

# There was recognition at work – of my successes and weaknesses alike, with a lot of help to address the weaknesses

# I kept the tradition of going to the ER (twice) and experienced first-hand the mess that the UK’s healthcare is!

# There were several house parties – some fun, some random

# Diwali was in London

# I turned 30. I am still not comfortable saying this number out loud, but lately I have been thinking of the many experiences of the past 10-15 years that I feel it has been a memorable enough journey to this number and I should embrace it warmly

# Tried again with Avan’s help to complete my wedding video. Hopefully I will get it before the end of the year

# I had this dream for my 30th birthday. I never learned how to ride a bike because I was busy hopping countries. So I thought of going for a trek in snowy mountains for the birthday instead. I have anyway been longing to go back to the mountains for a while now. But snow in Europe in September is hard to reach. A trip in remote Switzerland would have been ideal, but I was frustrated and upset with how logistically hard and expensive it was turning out to be! And I clearly never did it.

# Instead, Chetak kindly helped plan Snowdonia as a funny ‘snow’ trek even though there would not have been any snow then. That trek didn’t happen either because the weather wasn’t on our side. And being in the countryside meant no phone network and therefore hardly any phone calls and wishes. If you haven’t figured yet, I am still bummed about all the things that did not work out even though it was a lovely trip in itself. 

# I did get a nice surprise party for the birthday which made up for all that wasn’t.

# We also went dancing and experienced mundeyan to bach ke rahi on the dance floor during the Notting Hill carnival

# A separate trip to the city of bells, Brugge was one of the biggest highlights of the year. The place was musical, scenic, quiet and very refreshing! These away-from-the-city breaks are hard to match.

# C gifted me a watch with my initials on it 

# Watched Vir Das live in London

# Watched Zakir Hussain live again 

# Visited a remote Swedish town for work and ticked off the bucket list item of seeing windmills in water 

# C got his UK driving license and we went for our first road trip with dear boys in a red Jeep :D

# I made an effort to connect with people from past life in the current city and balance my being in this foreign land beyond C and his friends

# An important relationship finally came up for air after nearly two years. It will never be the same again but I am glad the negativity is behind us.

# In my true retrospective, reflecting self, I kept sharing Facebook ‘memories’ with friends. It doesn’t help that I and many of them are spread out across the world. 

# Demonitisation happened

# Samsung gave new life to my phone with a complete overhaul over the summer

# Bought a new Canon

# I was gifted a tablet to read but I failed to read

# I started using a credit card. I know I said I started doing it when I moved to Abu Dhabi, but I now use it for 20p transactions as well. I still think it is stupid to buy on credit and then pay a bill at the end of the month when you can buy directly with a debit card. But things you do for points, offers and miles!

# This one comes low in this list just so I could reflect hard and remember the finer details of the year – we bought a flat of our own!

# We bought 200 kilos worth of furniture from Ikea and I discovered I enjoy DIY.

# C and I had a similar amount’s worth of arguments as well

# I told C that we will go easy with setting up the new home, enjoying the process instead of making a burden of it. Instead, I single-mindedly spent several evenings either buying stuff for home or just unpacking, setting up, hammering nails, et al. I could still go back and spend a dedicated week on it. We are, after all, still a few months away from completing the set-up.

# Close friends helped a great deal with the packing, moving and settling in

# Leaving my first house in the city was nothing short of an end of an era

# A fortnight still to go and I figure this has become a very long read

Year in Review: Part V

And here is the final list of 2015 highlights - some things new and some things old:

~ It was established that I absolutely love weddings, especially our desi Bollywood-y ones
~ I printed and framed photos for my new home
~ Did a special photo shoot and created a photo book from it for a friend’s farewell
~ Attended networking events
~ Did a lot of walking
~ Desperately approached random people for help
~ Started living in constant fear
~ Felt jealous
~ Met a lot of new people
~ Crushed candies and rescued pets
~ Watched British stand-up comedy and didn’t get much of it
~ Lived through London’s pissing-off pissy rain
~ Again had an injury that nobody could decode and had several funny diagnosis for it
~ Completed seven years with my Canon
~ Completed nine years with my blog, Fuchsia

Year in Review: Part IV

Here's some more new experiences from 2015:

~ Started running
~ Slept more than I did in the last five years
~ Got married
~ Received a lot of gifts
~ Put together a coffee table book of my travel experiences
~ Got added to eight new permanent Whatsapp groups
~ Of course I put all my Whatsapp groups on mute
~ Saw graffiti in Berlin
~ Saw horses running in open fields
~ Watched a classic at an open air theatre
~ Bought clothes for friends’ new-born babies
~ Bought plants for home but most of them died
~ Then Priyam sent another plant on my birthday and it’s doing well so far
~ Lost my nani
~ Struggled on the career front like never before

Year in Review: Part III

OF NEW EXPERIENCES...

~ Watched the brilliance that was the musicals, Matilda and Wicked
~ Kissed under the glittering Eiffel Tower
~ Did salsa in a pub with more than a handful of onlookers
~ Became a Monopoly pro!
~ Experienced the autumn colours
~ Made my first real make-up buy
~ Bought a real winter jacket
~ Got active on Instagram
~ Watched cabaret in Paris
~ Stayed up all night to click the red moon
~ Sat on a tram
~ Had my first serious experience of jet lag
~ Spotted jelly fish
~ Started living with someone who ensures I always have fresh flowers at home

Year in Review - Part II

FOOD & DRINKS

~ Became a Sarvana Bhavan regular

~ Made dosas with coconut chutney and sambhar at home and they were GOOD!

~ Made papayas a regular component of my diet

~ Ate at a Georgian restaurant

~ Tried a new drink called Ginja

~ Also had Champagne IN Champagne

~ I fasted. 

~ I partied

~ Had a short phase of desi-style do-at-home corn cob addiction

~ Cooked for and hosted more than 15 people at home

~ Ate a lot of crepes

~ Attended many a gatherings of wine & cheese

~ I tried another new drink – the porn star martini!

~ Went cheese-tasting

~ Had an authentic Palestinian meal with a Palestinian family

~ Had the afternoon tea experience in true British style

2015

I usually do a recap of the year every December. But since I haven’t written much this year, this recap is really going to be about me trying hard to recall the details – big and small – before they fade with memory. 

Since it’s a long list and since the blog post number has been so low this year, I shall break the post into a few parts. 

Here goes the year in review, part I:

PLACES
~ I moved from Abu Dhabi to New Delhi to London

~ Stayed at a super luxury hotel and found it utterly underwhelming

~ Visited a lavender farm that looked and smelled like a dream 

~ Travelled first class 

~ Travelled low cost 

~ Got bumped up to Etihad's business class on my final flight out of Abu Dhabi

~ Got an unexpected five year Schengen visa

~ I visited Berlin 

~ Then I visited Paris

~ And then I went to Portugal

~ Visited a museum of natural history and saw the T.Rex! 

~ Visited the Guggenheim museum

~ Chose not to visit the Louvre 

~ Visited Cambridge

~ Booked tickets to Scotland but couldn’t go

~ Booked two trips for 2016

Part II to follow...

Time

Given that I was away from the blog for most part of 2014 and that December was fairly busy itself, I never got to pen my year-end post. And then I came across this feature on HuffPost which served as a good starting point for this post. Thinking through the below 30 questions about the year that went by and the year ahead put things in perspective – some a little late in the day and some just in time before I start a new life. 

Here we go…

2014 in review

1. Describe your 2014 in three words

# Stable

# New

# Challenging

2. What was your most common mental state this year?

Happy

3. What was the biggest event in your life this year?

The engagement

4. What were your three happiest moments?

# The couplet night

# Telling Mom about Chetak

# The birthday dinner 

5. What new skills did you learn?

# Cooking

# Work processes-related things

6. What personal qualities or habits did you develop, cultivate, or strengthen?

# Started to articulate thoughts more clearly

# Introduced more fibre intake

7. What new things did you discover about yourself?

After pondering over this question for a few minutes, I feel old. There’s nothing new I discovered about myself. What I did discover about life is that 100 per cent happiness is a myth. 

8. What little things did you most enjoy doing on a daily basis?

Chatting with cabbies

9. What out-of-the-ordinary things did you do this year?

Most part of life this year was out of the ordinary

10. What cool things did you create?

All the food! Rajma, chhole, kadi, pasta, etc

11. What big things did you do that you had to get out of your comfort zone?

# Moved countries

# Worked with people from a completely different culture (inter-personal and professional)

# Swam in the ocean 

12. What achievements are you most proud of?

Living on my own

13. What was the most memorable moment this year?

The proposal

14. What are you most thankful for?

Love

15. Who are you most thankful for?

Chetak

16. How did you spend time with your family and how did the relationship evolve?

Technology-dependent bonds 

17. What or who had the biggest positive impact on your life this year?

Chetak did

18. What was the most important lesson you learnt in 2014?

You need a lot of patience and discipline to move the needle beyond a point

19. If you could turn back time, what would you have done differently?

Tackled the new role at work differently

20. What advice would you give to other people about what you have learned this year?

Ask more questions, do more research before jumping into anything

2015

21. What new things do you want to try in 2015?

# Regular exercise

# Euro travel

# Better cooking

22. What or where do you want to see, discover, and explore in 2015?

I don’t think this one is applicable given the year’s planned schedule

23. What do you want to achieve career-wise?

Discipline and independence

24. What new skills do you want to learn, improve, and master?

# Cooking is important!

# And maybe see through the Urdu plan

25. What personal qualities or habits do you want to develop, cultivate, or strengthen?

# Assertiveness

# Discipline

26. Who do you want to spend more time with?

The family before I move

27. What do you want to "feel" most of the time in 2015 (happy, content, excited, relaxed, busy, productive, creative)?

Happy and productive

28. What do you want your day-to-day life to be like in 2015?

Relaxed breakfast. Decent office hours. Productive conversations at home. Date nights. Cookouts. Travel. Socializing.  

29. What do you want to completely get rid of in your life and in 2015 you will make it happen?

Nothing really

30. What is your number one goal in 2015 and how are you planning to achieve it?

Active lifestyle - hopefully with some consistent help

Flipping Through

Priyam tagged me in a post which took me to the time when I looked forward to blogging because of all the friends that I had made through this medium. I lost some, I kept many. About them, another day. For now, I am taking up the tag. I have done this multiple times in the past, but it is entertaining enough this Saturday night. 

Ten Random Facts About Me (in no order):

1. My fingers know my BB password but my lips don't. That was the objective when I set it. 

2. I talk to imaginary people. And love doing it.

3. I recently got hooked to an astrology website. Yes, #facepalm

4. Some songs on my ipod have had a permanent spot on the playlist for five years now

5. I have a special feeling for people who walk with their hands in the pockets, in crowded spaces. Not!

6. I recently discovered that I have a stalker and I find it kinda cool. 

7. I do not have canines.

8. I don't like spending money on shoes. I don't even like shopping for shoes. 

9. I find it hard to make conversations. Quite.

10. Sometimes I wish I got some inheritance credited to my account so I can travel without a care. 

And some questions....

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Check my emails.

2. How do you express your anger?

I often rehearse some yelling with friends. Otherwise it stays in.

3. If you had to live on a lonely island and take only one book with you, which one would that be?

There isn't a favourite book.

4. An embarrassing moment/fact about you?

The recent past has been boring enough.

5. How much do you let your academic success/failure affect your life?

Extremely. It has always been very important.

6. Do you believe in first impressions?

I do. And I am mostly right.

7. What period of your life do you think was best?

Of the few that are over, I would say that school was the best. 

8. Do you live in present more or brood about past and fantasize about future more?

I live in the present. Think about the past. And leave the future for tomorrow.

9. Your favourite cartoon and why?

I like Sid from Ice Age. Hard to say why.

10. And finally Harry potter or Twilight? 

Neither! 

Something New

Earlier this year, I was part of a workshop which was about social styles in the work environment. The assessment of my style and what was said about it was not just accurate, but also a little amusing. Well, amusing because people make fun of some things I do, but then it really is very satisfying and fun. Like making pretty Excel sheets. Won’t you agree that they can be efficient and presentable, at the same time? I certainly believe so.

So, apart from work-related Excel sheets, I made two personal ones which made me very happy.

The first was some scenario planning I did before heading out to Goa. I usually do not do this when travelling, but I was a little confused about how I should spend my time there. After all, even though I would have had company there, I was travelling alone.

How it finally shaped up was very close to Scenario 4. *grins*     

The other was a direct consequence of having a full time job and living with family. I feel the need to do something new and exciting very often. So I started maintaining a sheet with records of something new that I did every month. 

Something New: an occurrence or an event that has never been experienced before

Most of it was fun, some embarrassing, some inconsequential, and some not worth sharing, but I am glad to tell you that I did have a fair amount of data for this file. :)  

The list itself was a first. I am hoping to scale this to something better and bigger next year.

And since this is directly related to my customary year-end post, I’m clubbing the content below. 

# For a fear of drowning in water, I went scuba diving and 30 feet deep into the ocean  

# Went to watch the Beating Retreat live at Raisina Hill

# Backpacked in the mountains

# Started wearing contact lenses

# Regularly did yoga for six months

# Drove up till 16,500 feet

# For a fear of being at a height of even two feet, I sat on a camel and moved through the desert at 10 feet above ground

# Slept in the open in the desert 

# Went for a rather disappointing sufi music concert at Humayun's Tomb

# Bought my highest heels

# Became an aunt (I know I didn’t have a role to play there). But walking with him in my arms and managing 

to entertain him is big enough!

# Ventured into a swimming pool and felt that it might not be so hard after all

# Had a lot to drink - tried a lot of new drinks and found a new favourite

# Thought that I did not need to be rushed to an ER this year, had this latest accident, and felt royally idiotic!

# I did have more than my share of health-related pain and depression this year too

# Broke a heart

# Had my heart broken (Yes, again!)

# Travelled to my heart’s content!

# Watched a lot of stand-up comedy, didn’t miss any show that came to Delhi from The Comedy Store, Mumbai

# Figured the difference between being short tempered and angry. I used to be short tempered. What I now experience is a calm exterior and a lot of anger inside.

# Declined a rishta only by looking at a guy’s pictures

# Started thinking about getting married

# Made two drastic changes in the hairstyle. Loved one more than the other, got a LOT of compliments for the other.

# Experienced a first real ‘happy anniversary’

# Splurged a LOT!

# Sat on a ghoda gaadi late on a cold winter night. It was one of those *silly grin* moments.

# I listened to the entire Budget Speech of the FM, live

# Started going to a spa

# Stayed at the Taj in Mumbai

# Did a speed tour of the Sun Temple at Konark. The place reminded of history textbooks from school.

# Got promoted

# Went on a blind date for the sheer thrill of the experience

# Made my first real online purchase (not books or movie/travel tickets)

# Cut my own hair

# Watched and loved Sherlock Holmes

I worried about whether 2012 was going to last. I think it was a fairly good year. I don't know what to expect from 2013. At all. It feels like I am approaching a blind turn. But I do not know if I should be slowing down.

Too many question marks. Too much blank space. Very unsure. 

There's Always a Reason!

There's a reason why I became a passive listener of music.
There's a reason why I had stopped watching Grey's Anatomy.
Why white is the brightest.
Why some kids are more needy than others.
Why I don't climb two steps at a time.
Why rains now are not as predictable as they used to be.
Why no sportsperson is successful without passion.
Why clipping my nails makes me feel stronger.
Why Indians are great at crisis management.
Why time or life never stop for anything.
Why we all hope against hope.
Why dog lovers would get along better with cat lovers.
Why Google is so powerful.
Why people say that it's lonely at the top.
Why a striped shirt with striped pants is just wrong!
Why I love the Blogger dashboard and the chairs in my office pantry alike.
Why most of us hate waiting, and yet keep waiting.
.....

There is always a reason. Whether we see it or not. Whether we acknowledge it or not. Whether it makes sense or not. Random, is just a convenient word.

JLT

# Beach holidays are far more expensive than those in the mountains
# Facebook might not be as much fun any more, but it still has potential to make you waste hours together
# I think I need a new phone. My fifth Samsung!
# It's been a year since the dreamy Orchha trip
# I need more money
# Blogger.com is testing my patience
# I have happily taken a due compensatory off for my birthday. But I have no plans.
# Clearly, I have wasted the entire weekend in front of my laptop
# Dell still rocks!
# I talk a LOT when with my latest doctor
# Grey's Anatomy taught me that surgeons love opening people up before I learned that in real life
# I like second half of a year more than the first half
# Going by how much I spend on doctors' fees, I will never be able to buy a new lens
# The other day somebody repeated after me that I have been single for over three years :O
# I want to go dancing
# I can't believe I have still not seen Ice Age 4
# I am always smiling when the the little baby is around
# Till now nobody's clicked a nice picture of him and me together
# I think I can waste the next two days in front of my laptop too
# I want someone to write me a nice, long email
# Did I mention that I have a nice boss?

Have You Ever?

# Started competing with someone who is walking in the same direction as you are?
# Felt water splash on your feet while seeing some of it pouring close by?
# Decided not to do something and gone straight ahead against yourself?
# Waited for the right day to take a step only to realise that the right day passed you by?
# Felt that one stranger is nicer than the other one?

Bokeh

I began the year on a nervous note. I was not sure about how I would handle it...

It was the first year where I worked from January to December with exactly two weeks' break in the middle. So, it did fly by. But I think I managed to squeeze in enough to at least manage this post. Like I insist, lessons don't mean much unless I learn them myself. I finally figured that a minute, a moment, a day, are all enough if you really want to do something, get anywhere. It is the will that matters most. And with that thought, here's my snapshot of 2011!

# Entered an ocean full of opportunities led by the gods themselves!

# Had to get my nose re-pierced

# Four key travel outings in northern, western, southern, and central India. Beginning 2012 with the south-east. :D

# Did one semi-nude photoshoot which, I think, had turned out to be pretty good!

# Had a massive crush on an extremely nice guy

# My involvement with the big screen became extremely romantic

# Struggled with the health through one more year

# Watched Zakir Hussain live

# Spent money to watch a play for the first time

# Tried out some new restaurants and cafes in the city

# That story had another chapter unfolding this year

# Bought gold

# Said definite goodbye to Maggi and eggs, they are my allergies of the year

# Turned 25 and got my first surprise party

# Found the force in the sun

# Rode a tonga

# 10 years ago, I would not have worn an orange skirt even if you offered me money. And now, it is a dear possession

# It was the year of spotting cute men in the metro

# Taj Mahal dekha!

# OD'd on chocolate

# Drove on the streets cheering along with strangers when India won the cricket world cup

# Bought a LOT of white clothes

# Do not detest black any more. :)

# Picked a fight with Manu Joseph :P

# Visited banks of the Yamuna

# Sat on a negotiation table for Rs. 88 lakhs and contributed to the winning side 

# Dreamt about going to Ladakh. Hopefully next year.

# Gave presents to some people when they were not expecting it. Felt nice.

# One more failed attempt at the gym

# Had my first serious scary moment when that man disappeared at the cemetery in Wayanad

# Got some of my photographs printed and framed for home

# Hated rains even more

# Said a very difficult 'no'

# Made a highly entertaining trip tot the Toilet Museum

# Wrapped my camera up

# Started using a BlackBerry

# Experienced Bombay at leisure for the first time

# Obsessively listened to some sufi songs

# Made my annual trip to the emergency room of a hospital

# Also had a blackout followed by a scary ECG

# Did not purchase a single bag this year. Maybe I should buy one as a new year present.

# Changed the blog's look after really long, and quite like what I have now!

# I did not delete some text messages from the phone. They have got to feature here! A consolidated version would look something like this:

"Airtel welcomes you to...

Haryana

Rajasthan

Gujarat

Maharashtra & Goa

Himachal Pradesh

Punjab

Madhya Pradesh

Uttar Pradesh

Kerala

Tamil Nadu

Karnataka"

I know I didn't go to all these states, but I did go through them all to fewer destinations! :D 

# Cleartrip called me a 'frequent traveller' (ahem)

# I finally discovered the beautiful world of net banking

# TV gave us The Dewarists 

# Got listed on an India Influencer Index on Twitter :P

...but I do think we managed to handle each other fairly well. 2012, are you going to last?

2011 and Me

Colour of the year - Orange
Song of the year - Bawra mann...
TV series of the year - The Dewarists
Fruit of the year - Apple
Most dearly missed entity of the year - Eggs
Best buy of the year - the silver hoops
Best trip of the year - Wayanad
Surprise of the year - the book on driving in the mountains given by NB
Actor of the year - Gulshan Devaiah
The year's best brands - Mango & Hugo Boss
Knowledge god of the year - TSV
Innovations of the year - Google Doodles
Metro buddy of the year - Lynn
The year's most awesome sunset - Orchha
The year's most interesting insights - Food sector regulations
.
.
.
and I just lost my trail of thought...

A Review

My 25 things-to-do list from last birthday...

1. Of course, get that job! - Check! I think I am in the right place.

2. Get the knee fixed - Check! We're almost fixed. 

3. Visit the Taj Mahal - Check! 

4. Make one long trip to the Himalayas - Check! It was brilliant!!

5. Make another long trip to Rajasthan in the winters - Still on the list. Maybe this year.

6. Buy a car - Changed my mind.

7. Help Mom redo the house - She doesn't listen!

8. Pick up a new hobby - Err... no new hobby. 

9. Learn a new language, Spanish maybe - I took exactly four lessons. 

10. Catch one of Ustad Zakir Hussain's concerts - Check! It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

11. Find an occasion to wear that black dress - It's still in the cupboard. :-/

12. Burn up the past for good - Well, cannot claim to have burnt it. But I have locked it up. 

13. Clear my debt - Check! 

14. Actively participate in at least one initiative of Blank Noise's - Unfortunately didn't.

15. Invest in silk, silver, and a lot of white! :D - White count of my cupboard has reached an embarrassing number. :D

16. Try quitting consumption of bread - I quit for a short period, and now just consume lesser than I did last year. 

17. Try about three different hairdos - Done, of course. 

18. Make the line clearer - It is clearer than it ever was. 

19. Get a hot new frame for my spectacles too - I do think the current ones are hot.

20. Barring that dress, get rid of all black coloured things in my life - I'm almost there.

21. Cut down on unnecessary loyalties - Taken care of.

22. Spend less time online - Work does ensure that I spend less time online.

23. Start reading again - Err... I blame the two books that I tried restarting with.

24. Take dance classes - I think I will do it this year. 

25. Let it be. - Letting it be. 

That is a good score. Thank you, life. You have been kind. 

Offload!

• Chashme ke bina nahi dikh raha.
• "Familiarity breeds contempt."
• "In the long run we are all dead."
• I had forgotten your smell.
• They never need to see me or talk to me to know that I am happy. 
• Sooner or later loose ends do get tied up.
• Just when I was beginning to feel that excitement is a frivolous emotion that I no longer experience, I got an opportunity to realise why it is such a treasured emotion.
• I may be a cynic, but I know who is worth being put in that list of gods.
• Your wit is digging too strongly, it's making me funnily uncomfortable.
• Competition still scares me. 
• Some equations should not need effort and are not even worth the effort.
• Pehde bandeyan naal ladna wi aa gaya!
• This American English is not fun.
• Too soon to comment, too soon to feel, too soon to judge - control is an art that makes your life bloody boring. And yet I seem to be leaning that way. With offline moments, of course. 
• You always have options. It's just that sometimes they're so bad that you don't consider them as options. 
• I wonder why I like the icky feeling of perspiration trickling down my scalp.
• That list of gods, Vishal Bhardwaj has been on it for quite a while. Deservingly. 
• I perceived someone to be similar to Subhadip. I was wrong - this one's nowhere close.
• And now that the longest day of the year is behind me, I am awaiting winters! :D

More later!

A Year of Lessons

I forgot to mention in the previous post that I also saw the full moon's light making the serene waters at Bhimtal glitter, bidding me the happiest good-bye.

And now for the Fuchsia (self-proclaimed) legend - my year wrap-up post.

# The year had begun with a spill-over from last year-end's awesome trip to the best of beaches

# I had also resolved to travel every month

# I watched my first 3D movie. And an animated one at that.

# Went through two longish phases of depression

# Went crazy over not taking up the job that I did not want

# Spent a lot of time with my first cousins

# In the Exploring Delhi chapter, I visited the phool mandi at CP and Ugrasen ki Baoli

# Went on a rural marketing trip to a village near Pune. Tasted anjeers off a farm in the middle of all brand-related matters

# Bhaiya got married

# Spent a lot of energy getting accustomed to the presence of a new member in the family

# Danced with a bartender at a party

# Drove to Panchgani with friends and sat in the dark for several hours just waiting to see a perfect sunrise

# Liked almost all new alcoholic drinks that I tried this year, and developed a dislike for the Old Monk that gave a lot of memories the previous year

# Just for the record, I love Jack Daniels. And I love green apple martinis. And an advice that you are free to take - please don't make LIITs if you don't know how to make them.

# I am still not over the tequila shots happiness :D

# I went tripling on a motorcycle

# I also rode pillion on a bike on two cold nights

# Totally fell in love with Marks & Spencer

# Made a road trip to Amritsar

# In my list of temples this year

- Golden Temple

- Dandeshwar

- Jageshwar

- Golu Devta Temple

- Sun Temple

# Got a root canal treatment and multiple cavities filled

# I still love meetha!

# I went back to driving. And again did not get my license. I think I should write 'went back to practicing driving'.

# Got involved in a project I liked in a way that could not have been more unorganised

# Ruined my knee

# Fractured a foot

# Still living with dysfunctional legs

# Got two worth-absolutely-every-penny-spent amazing hairdos

# Watched a lot of movies, ate at a lot of new places

# Experimented with food (in all caps).

# Had the coldest birthday ever

# Experienced the challenges of a job hunt

# Wrote the most desperate email of my life

# Went for a few events at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi and felt supercool doing that :P

# Missed two close friends' weddings

# Saw first-hand what five stars are like and really did not get impressed. I appreciate the efficiency of smaller places a lot more.

# Had a friend bring me white roses during one of my many illnesses

# Started meeting directors and CEOs of organisations and also started finding the process quite hollow

# Went back to Pune and to that campus that I did not think I will ever turn back to.

# The feelings that ran through me during my last few hours on that campus will probably go with me to my pyre

# Bonded with a stranger through a night and felt like I could spend the rest of my life with him. I was drunk.

# People I sanely wanted to keep for life decided otherwise.

# Heard Jagjit Singh live

# Made my long trip to the Himalayas and did a year's worth of new things

# Had many degrees of strength derived from my immediate and extended family

# Realised for sure that I am a strong person in spite of the love for vulnerability.