On A Happy Note

Another year has come to a close, and this year I do not have my customary New Year post because I had made it on my birthday itself, and there isn't really much that I have done in the last four months for me to make a new list.
But what I do want to write about are the things that make (and have made) me happy. Firstly, I think it's time I acknowledge the camera that I own. I have not liked it since I've got it, but I can only imagine what life would have been if I didn't have it. Well, if I didn't have it, I'd have actually had a camera according my preferences, but let's just count the blessings, shall we. So, it's a Sony T100. And if there's one good thing that I can confidently say about it is its macro lens. It does a killer job...each time! Or maybe it's just that macros are my thing [:D]. Whatever said, the camera really helps me there. And thanks to that, I have managed to capture a few shots of one of my most favourite things in the world...flowers.

I have actually clicked over 2,500 pictures in under five months. Well, perhaps some of them have been absolutely random, and some I have lost forever, but I have had So Much Fun!

Adding to the happiness has been Shady. I keep mentioning him, but the mentions are usually never enough. He's been the staff that I've clung to in these difficult months, and the best part is that he's never made me feel that I'm clinging. He's a darling!

And of course, ALL the friends who have entertained me, and have been entertained by me (and this is the entertainment wala entertain, and not jhelne wala entertain).

Well, I think this is pretty much it. And I think I should keep revisiting this page, because my bad mood days should see how beautiful things are around me. :-)

Now I shall make a move. My brother's come to pseudo fight with me after a very long time. :D Tada!!

Got a Question?

I came across a seemingly fun tag after quite some time. Jayant found it somewhere, and since I participated in it on his blog, I am supposed to do it on my blog too.

It's a simple game. You can ask me ANY three questions you like. 'Personal, private, or random.' And I shall answer them. Hopefully honestly. :P

In return, you have to post this message in your own blog and you have to answer the questions that people ask you.

Simple? So let's try and start rolling. :D

Random

Sad news: the flab is coming back. Uh, all that sweat! It is moments like this that make you want to go, "Why god, why...why me?" But can you blame me if I had a bad fall last year? If other than dislocating a bone, I also screwed some other things inside? And tell me, am I to blame if those 'other things' was a lot of space compressed between some vertebrae leading to some pressing of nerves? And that pressing decided to reboot one year later? Now I hope you do get that it is not really I(or is it 'me'?) who did all this. The funny bit is, I bear the pain, and I grow fat again. Has anybody ever heard of sharing somebody's burden? To top it all (yeah, I know it's for my own good), I almost get electrocuted every day. Science brains like T who do not want to sympathise even at my joke, would say, 'it's probably 15 amperes of current - you won't die!' Hmph! You get the darn physiotherapy done with weird vibrations running through your spine (via electrodes of course) and then talk to me! :|
But it is supposed to help. If not, well then we're in dangerous territory I guess.

I wonder how I would have killed time if I did not have all these defects to handle. Hmm...dearie god and his ways, huh? Crazy!

Talking of my forever screwed body, I think I will soon contrive (if one can) high blood(y) pressure too. Or maybe am already on my way. And this one will be rather simple, it's been in the family for generations. Coming back to the 'why' (there always IS one) behind this - yesterday I surprised not just a friend but even myself by yelling at a biker on the road. Of course, no doubt he was acting like a jerk....but two cuss words and "the road isn't made only for you!!" made him stop for a moment. As if he could beat me up or something!
And then today. I generally try to be polite with customer care people of any kind of service provider. But what are you supposed to do with several complaint numbers and being without a debit card pin for over three months? I yelled at the man today. By the way, this still is HSBC that SUCKS! DON'T ever transact with them. Even if you are dying. Take my word. So yeah, they left me yelling to myself even after I hung up. Maybe it's just the oldage that I was dreading, but it was really disgusting.

Anyway. So this is what I have been up to this past week. And of course, hoping that Shady's employers will have mercy too.
Oh yes, also doing some work which should actually be done by NDMC/CPWD. Maybe they should pay me for it, I might be able to pay at least one month's phone bill with it. Cleaning up and then paying somebody else for just carrying the trash out of the block isn't a funny job. And also have mofo neighbours staring!

So now I shall enjoy some Kishore Kumar, and you have a good night. Byeee!! :-)

PS - It doesn't seem to be a year of HAPPY birthdays (claim limited to my small world). It's Mithu's birthday today and she's spending it in a boring fashion on a train. Wish the bitch was here. Anyway, wish she has a great year and a lots of happy days ahead. :-)

Smiles Galore

Felt like making such a collection, and got to the link of this tool from Sayandi's blog. LOVED doing it! Enjoy!! :))

Time Tales

For some reason, it feels like eternity since I wrote a random post here. Not that there is any dearth of such posts on this blog, and not even as if I have a very happening life right now that I'd write about my day and it would make for a good read, but I still feel that the number of that kind of posts has reduced quite drastically here.
There has been no Abhishek Bachchan, no college friends, no cousins, economics of course, no 'I love bullets' post, no silver, not even any 'vague thoughts extended'! God! What do I write about nowadays?!
A few new things -- photography, Shady, back issues...
And some not so new things, the things that remain -- exams, studies, moods, music...

This blog is a year and one week old today. Perhaps it is coincidence, but just like my own birthday was dry and minus the excitement this year, so has been my blog's. In fact, I did not even access my page that day - that too because of coincidence, I was not in Delhi, but even so.
I do remember the summer of 2006 though...Vague Thoughts' birthday was celebrated quite nicely. :) That blog was also quite an experience!

The calendar year is also coming to a close. And like every year, I don't know how this year went by so quickly. But actually it was a rather long year. I think we are just involuntarily accustomed to feeling that time flies. At least I am. And that is possibly because I have a fairly decent memory - I remember things, days, events rather clearly. So, even though the scenes from Jan this year are fresh in my mind, I know I've spent a lot of taxing times through the year too. And a lot of days have been very very long - they never seemed to end.
The tone of this post is moving towards sad, and that is not quite what I intended it to be. Neither am I sad today. I'm fine. (This is one of the ''I'm fine''s from my Orkut profile. For those who had doubts. :D)
So let us put it a little differently: Even though the days never seemed to end, they did. In spite of bad days, I had peaceful nights (barring some :D).
But yes, I started the year on a worried/lost note, rode through a whole gamut of feelings/experiences/thoughts, and am back to worried/lost. Hehe... Quite a cycle! :)
But at least I am more stable. That's reason enough to be thankful. :-)

I'm going for a little dip in the past today. Not sure how it's gonna be...again, time will tell. :-)

So, see you in a while. Tada!

According to Flickr...

my ten most interesting pictures....

1) Green mein Green

2) Age

3) Tools for Multi-tasking?

4) Fight AIDS

5) Mr Peacock

6) Up Close

7) Sticking Together

8) At the Qutub Complex

9) Locomotive Wheels

10) Lost in Colours

Photography's turned out to be one of the most satisfying and interesting things I've ever been involved in. Hope to continue it with the same passion in future too.

Real Trains This Time

A plan that was being postponed for some time, finally got finalised on Saturday, the 8th. I was gonna board a train the next morning!! So, the next morning, I was on the Kalka Shatabdi to Chandigarh. According to my family, mera 'train mein baithne ka sapna poora ho gaya'. I was recently cribbing about how it had been two years since I last travelled by train. Although, it was not exactly the kind of fun I'd have liked - the one of travelling in a coach where you can open the windows. That's the real fun!! Anyway, I wasn't complaining.
We were going to Chandigarh to meet two of my most favourite oldies. We were returning the same evening. But this time by bus since there weren't any train tickets available.

I went to Chandigarh after almost nine years. Clearly, I didn't remember much of the city. But I fell in love with it yesterday. It almost seemed ideal - a lot like Delhi, and minus the chaos and rush of this place. What more can you ask for!

I clicked a lot of random pictures, and was happily stunned to see how clean the railway station and the bus station there were. They mop the floors there! Even though the same places in Delhi are relatively much larger and see much more traffic, they still have no reason to be like the kind of urinals they are!! Ugh.

The return journey was a little towards irritating. What with terrible traffic and a HORRIBLE movie being played in the bus. Why don't people donate money than making such shit movies like Dhol? It was nothing more than 2.5 hours of noise. Bloody! Thank god for AIR FM - it saved me from a lot of that noise. And also gave me a lot of Beatles, Billy Joel and so forth as added bonus. :-)

By the time we reached Delhi, I could not feel my neck. It was unbelievably stiff. But I'm glad we got Volvo tickets, otherwise I would not have been able to feel the rest of my body either.
Oh, I could not believe the number of cars parked at Murthal dhabas either. Crazy stuff!

Got home by 10:00 p.m., went through the usual night routine, and crashed soon after.

It was an incredibly beautiful weekend I had. Saturday was very different from Sunday, but it was just as much fun...although, Shady blamed me for having dropped a pastry (MY pastry)...while it was actually an accident. :( Hmph!

But like it's said, mulla ki daud masjid tak. I'm back to solving maths questions today. :D

My Most Favourite Oldie...

:))

This is my dad's aunt, but we all call her Buji, and she's the grandmom that I never had. She's the sweeeeetest oldie I know. Muuah!! :D

Ugh

It has been quite a frustrating day so far. And even though lately I've spent a lot of not-too-productive days, this one's probably been the most irritating. I did put up one picture on Flickr that made me kinda happy, but that is about it. The air itself seem to be blue, the sunshine was almost ineffective...it's not there anymore, and I am hovering around numbness...but not quite there. Would not have been irritable if I was numb!
For some dumb reason, my room generally stays cooler than the rest of the house too, so I am just sitting around with cold hands, cold feet and a cold nose. I know it's not that cold yet, and I know that I always insist that winters are supercool, but didn't I just tell you that I am irritable today!
The idiotic brain/memory doesn't help either! Has to remind me that 7 Dec, '06 was also a super-shitty day! Well, the two days are not even comparable, and am I glad or what that they're not....but then who said that shit was ever remotely close to 'nice'!
I've not received confirmation about my payment to XLRI...it's been two weeks; I've had enough shit related to their forms this year....I don't wanna worry more about them!! But I already am...

W H A T E V E R!!

P.S. - One thing that never fails to make me super happy is appreciation for any picture that I click. Just received a comment from an ex colleague...and he's made my day, again!! Thanks, Rohit. :-)

Trip to a museum was never so much fun

Khoya Khoya Chand

There is a new song that I have fallen completely in love with. It's catchy, and thankfully is sensible unlike all 'catchy' numbers that they produce nowadays. And I don't know if it's just coincidence that this one also features Shiny Ahuja, but he's also one charming thing, and I'm just glad-er that he's part of it! :D

So the lyrics go something like this...

Kyun khoye khoye chand ki phir aakh mein, talash mein, udaas hai dil...
Kyun apne aap se khafa khafa zara zara sa naraz hai dil...

Ye manzilein bhi khud hi tai kare...
Ye faasle bhi khud hi tai kare...
Kyun, to raaston pe phir seham seham sambhal sambhal ke chalta hai ye dil...

Zindgai sawalo ke jawaab dhoondne chali..
Jawaab mein sawalon ki ek lambi si ladi mili..
Sawaal hi sawaal hai sujhti nahi gali..
Ki aaj haath thaam lo, ek haath ki kami khali...

Jee mein aata hai...
Murda sitare noch loo...
Idhar bhi noch loo..
Udhar bhi noch loo...
Ek do ka zikar kya...
Main saare noch loo...

Kyun tu aaj itna vaishi hai mizaz mein mazazz hai aye gum-e-dil...

Dil ko samajhna to kya aasaan hai...
Dil to fitrat se sun lo na baimaan hai...
Yeh khush nahi hai jo mila...
Bas mangta hi hai chala...

....

Kyun khoye khoye chand ki phir aakh mein, talash mein, udaas hai dil...
Kyun apne aap se khafa khafa zara zara sa naraaz hai dil...

Absolutely love it!!!

:D :D :D

Ok, I am majorly itching to write this post in all caps, but I really want you to read it so I won't do that. I am on top of the world. And that is because I have a supercool boyfriend (yes, I took his permission to write like a 15-year-old).

Do you know what an acrostic is? I did not till a few moments ago. Go dig up the meaning and then read this.

Lockjaw is a disease, but I think I almost got that after reading this. I could not, and still almost cannot believe it. I think I am touched, but right now the disbelief is overpowering. Daily reiteration of feelings in common words suddenly doesn't seem to be enough. I have nothing to say, nothing to write....just have an ear-to-ear grin. This is just insane! :D

I'm so happy!! :-)

P.S. I hope you know what my real name is. :P

A Simple Message

Sometimes reality is so simple to understand.

Do watch the video till the end.

Muhahaaaa

I knew that it was just a matter of time, but some people tried to tell me that it would never happen again. But I just knew it. The airwaves are alive again!! Of course, because Nitin is back!! Yayiiiiii!! Radio just can't afford to lose him, no matter what! I'm all happy again. :D

Factual Bits

Some things are dying...
and some are coming to life...
but there is nothing extraordinary in my observation...
this is what life is.

And everything is timely...
It's time certain things died.
It's not the thought of their death that is disturbing,
but their presence that is.

New life is, as always, a little unbelievable...
taking its time to sink in...
with apprehensions galore,
but welcomed with open arms still.

Competitive Exams

I'm feeling so lost, so without a purpose in life today. I know that maybe it's just one of those things that are never meant to be, but then why did I want it so badly? I gave up everything I could for it, I gave it everything I could too....and I am sitting here without a reason why I did so brilliantly in that one freakin exam. Yeah, I know that it's not the end of life or of anything else n all of that....but give me a break somebody!!
I am sitting here, 12:40 p.m., not knowing what to do in the next minute. How should I spend hours waiting... until I see human form again, until I see a new form of motivation, until I find something to do? How should I look at these creepy books again...with more love...so that I can really gain something out of them? Go away if you think I'm talking like a loser...you've become too judgmental!
Uh! I guess, like with all other things, it will take a couple of years for me to figure why this was not meant to be. Never mind. At least now I know it was not meant to be. That's some consolation!

CAT II

Flowers, phone calls, SMSs, I’m receiving them all. It really is a big day tomorrow, I guess. I’m trying to not think about it now, and am succeeding only partially. ‘Fuck scared’ and more, it is quite a roller coaster. But I think it was one last year too. And like I was just discussing with a friend, I’ve probably been ten times more worried for a lot of college exams. None of the college exams ever gave me the liberty of writing a blog post at 8:00 one night before. It’s just the darn pressure. Screw the pressure (oh, screwing it would take the air out of it. Hee hee hee :P)! Yeah, I’ve become quite a champ at such PJs. Never mind.

I am just hoping that the waking up routine is perfect tomorrow. That is, minus any cold, headache, toothache, backache, etc. And most importantly, I hope the mind is blank & happy.

Praying for myself.

Adios! :-)

(Sur)real

I thought my blog needed an update. I also thought that I want to write. And so I am here.
But there’s a part of me that does not want to write here anymore. And I don’t like the fact that it is happening. Blogging is, somehow, not what it used to be. And I hate to see it the way it is today. Don’t ask me what I’m getting at, ‘coz it’s hard for even me to explain.

But I don’t want to let go of this. As with most other things that are, or have been dear to me! I’d rather alter a few things in my thinking.

The recent past has been quite fairy-tale like. I am in a world which seemed to belong to only books and movies. A world which was nothing more than some beautifully interwoven words by people known as writers. It still seems like a dream, and I know pinching myself won’t be of much help. ‘Surreal’ is really the only word that comes closest to describing my world as it is right now. I had long stopped believing that reality could be like this. But I just realized that reality need not be only the bad stuff. Good things are just as real. It’s a different matter that they become very hard to digest as reality at times.

I am also being made to realize that I have done a fairly decent job of ‘making friends’. People who are friends in the true sense of the word. So what if I was talked badly of, so what if some people whom I considered friends did not really reciprocate equally in the relationships? What I have today, is perfect. I never thought people other than my immediate family could be so happy for me. At times, it is said that it is easier to be part of others’ happiness, but I don’t think so. How would someone’s happiness make any difference to you if that person was just another somebody for you?

I am truly happy today. My ‘people-world’ is stable. And the stability is brought by the person who is in its centre – yes, it’s Shady.

Shady says this about me, but it holds true in my case too – his voice is magical. When he laughs, I do not want him to stop. When he looks at me, I want his eyes to never look away. When he unknowingly tries to undo the hurt that I’ve tried to bury inside me, I wonder whether he is real. When I talk to him, I know he is listening. His words are a musical chain to my ears. The romance that he has brought into my life is completely beyond my own belief. The trust that he adds to the relationship each day, is very precious to me. The way we fight our insecurities, is something that only he understands. The love that I get is something that I have never got before. And the love that I get to give is also something that I could never do before.

Yes, it’s love again, only this time it’s real.

Festive Moods II

This time I don't even know where to begin. It was my happiest Diwali ever. It was literally brought in with tears of happiness, and I certainly could not have asked for anything more.
The day started very early as usual. Had the customary havan which was wrapped by 7:00 a.m. After that, I went out for a little walk in the beautiful weather. Also spent some time on the terrace. Came back for a little nap, and even before I'd had breakfast, I was out again. This time (happily) forcefully shoved into a car by cousins who had plans of visiting all other cousins in the city. I realised late at night that even sitting in the backseat killed me! It's not funny travelling from south Delhi to Rohini to Gurgaon and back and still not have stiff legs. But of course, it was fun without a doubt. Although, the funniest thing was what I did on my way back home. I think I used to do that when I was 5 years old. Car-tree-sardar uncle-poster-cycle pe people-hero heralal-red light-etc-etc.....spelling out everything that I could see from my window seat. It felt incredible!! :D
Got back a little late, so I had to find a way of making a rangoli that won't take much time. My pattern was the simplest ever, but filling it all with petals is always a painstakingly long task. Late night also made me realise that I killed my already dead legs even more by balancing all my weight weirdly for about an hour. I can't feel my legs right now. Anyway, Ruhi did help a lot with the rangoli. She also came up with the cheesiest senti dialogues just because she's leaving Delhi in three days. Bloody!
Just caught up with a few more friends after that, and sensibly got back inside my home by 10:00 p.m. since the pollution was getting crazy.

So, lots of phone calls, even more SMSs, loads of mithai, colours, lights, smiles, hugs, pictures, fun....and I had the perfect Diwali. :-)
I hope, so did you.

Festive Moods

I had been wondering why I couldn't feel the Diwali air around me. How I didn't even realise that my favourite festival was so close. The deal is that there is a mismatch between the weather and the festive days this time. The weather that Delhi usually sees around Diwali came and went in the early days of October. Somehow I'm glad that happened. Like I always keep saying, I am always nicely taken care of. I didn't, but somebody else knew that this year that air won't make me happy. I didn't deserve to be unhappy during some of the best days of the year. And I am not. I am very very happy today. I've always lived in this city but have never seen rain a day before Diwali. Today I did. And I want to believe that I know why the rain gods were happy. It's my November rain. The one I silently thought about a week ago. For once, I didn't find it irksome. Loved it. :-)
The weather's just incredible right now! I think it's the official indicator for winters to begin, and also for mosquitoes to go climb a pole.

I also continued my little Diwali tradition of getting mehandi on my hands. I did not have company this time, but being my stubborn self, there was no place other than Lajpat Nagar that I was going to get it from. So I went. Alone. It was a bit of a struggle handling my bag, the hair falling in my eyes, looking for an auto, and so forth....but I managed to get back home without smudging even a bit of it. Aren't you proud of me already? :D

One of the boxes of of mithai that have come home today have the funniest form of kaju barfi in them. They're shaped like different fruits. Amazing pieces of art! :-)

I think I'm going out with Pa for some little shopping for the house right now. So I shall be back. Maybe write more about Diwali. In case I don't, HAPPY DIWALI!!! :-)

It feels good to move around with a content smile on the face. :-)

Perspective

Aarbee’s never tried so hard to study.

12^th standard boards, 2^nd year exams, and now this! Times when I have really felt that I have put in a lot of hard work. I’ve studied as much as I could. There still probably remain a few things and I am trying to take care of those too. I know I studied last time too, but this time I’ve studied more. So now, even though I am fighting my worst fears almost every day, I am just glad I stuck to my idea of giving it my all this time. I knew I am not going to make another attempt at this, and that is why I also left my job. I know there is nothing more I can do if things don’t work out this time either. It is not a half-hearted attempt. From here, I either go the way I want to, or find another way that I’d like to follow. I will not be standing here and waiting any more. I may be tensed and anxious, but I am satisfied with what I have done. And still, my wall reads that I am better than most and can kick butt when I am in my element….and I intend to believe it until C-Day, and also for the rest of my life. :-)

These days are quite nice. I have found something that negates the effect of all the hellish thoughts that come to my head. Could I be more thankful and happier about it? Guess not. :-)

Chill(y)

I had an eventful weekend, but I wonder why all weekends end with my cribbing and worrying about math!

So there was a fun Saturday afternoon with a friend, chocolate truffle pastry, catching up with a very old school friend in the evening, meeting darn sweet kids of her NGO and also watch them perform on stage, feeling and enjoying the chill in the air, letting a complete stranger make my day, letting out an unbelievably high number of abuses on the roads, having great Chinese food for dinner and enjoying the Delhi charm yet again, having the best sleep in ages, feeling beautiful, writing a mock test minus the cold after 2.5 months, still screwing maths like I do every time, not feeling depressed for a change, catching up with cousins, eating something that my ma could never have imagined I’d eat, talking non-stop about people I like, and now writing. Phew! That was my longest sentence ever, I think! :D

What I want to write about in greater detail is what I saw last night. I’ve been to Chanakya for several movies, but have never been to the market that’s next to it; particularly in the night. It’s not the best of places in terms of ambience or feeling comfortable as a woman, but what food! I went there with Bhaiya to just get stuff packed for home. Of course it was Chinese. [:D] I figured that there were about 15-20 small restaurants but they all had a common kitchen on the first floor. People placed their orders, and then the shopkeepers used a microphone to convey the order upstairs. So there were guys running in and out of one of the restaurants (which, I think, had one of the ways to the kitchen) with dishes. One coming out with hot, steaming food….another going in with dishes ready to be cleaned.

There were all kinds of people there too. The loud gangs of guys with music blaring out of their cars, north-eastern couples, families – they were all there! The place was packed at 10:00 p.m. and the movie show was still to get over. I wonder how the place looks right after a show! And I also wonder how much business they make over there. The food is decently priced but certainly not cheap. Not what you might expect from smalltime places like those!

I totally enjoyed my little wait there, though. It was kinda cold, was quite dark, but the place was buzzing with action. Everyone was up to something or the other, people were having fun, and I was standing and watching everything. Also noticed a police chowki with people sitting right outside and having alcohol. Saw my beloved NDMC-maintained roads that look and feel out of the world on winter nights, and fell in love with them all over again! It was a fun, little outing I had. Not forgetting the spicy food. Ah. :D

And now I shall sign out. See you soon. Byeee!! :-)

Shady's Back!!

After six traumatic days, I am back!! I can sleep again. I knew that bloody CAT could not have been the reason. It was some dumb pills that I was prescribed. Side effects: nervousness and insomnia. Grr. Didn't they know that any more nervousness would just result in a breakdown here! Buggers. Oh I love my loud music again, it's not noise pollution any more. And I feel so energetic right now that I could fight an elephant, maybe. :D
So, a special thanks to a friend who was nice enough to dig up the details of those medicines and tell me to quit them. Also, for tolerating me for all those hours that I was up and cranky and dumb. For laughing at all my silly jokes and tantrums alike. For just being so niice and patient. Shady. :-)

Shady is considerate beyond belief. And is still not shady. Talk about perfect balance. I cannot begin to write about the things that are common between the two of us. I have never met another person who is so much like me. I thought I was a unique piece. But! I doubt if anybody can actually understand what I am trying to say here, because in just a few days, even we have lost track of the things that are similar. It's just crazy.
Although, there is one very big and evident difference. Our skills when it comes to maths. My scores are usually not even a tenth of his. Bloody!
He's brought a lot of smiles and happiness in my life. I'm scared, but I am enjoying. I've been singing for over a year - Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there...With open arms and open eyes. So. I think it fits so well, in the context of pretty much every thing that is happening in life. 2 weeks to go. I need to keep my eyes and arms open for that too.

God, trusting you again. Muah! :-)

Yours Truly - One More Time

So. Aarbee is always supposed to be up for surprises. And surprises that she cannot have dreamt of. Ever. This time, she is sleepless. She is not sleepy when she goes to bed, is not sleepy even 2 hours later when the so-called sleep is over. Ha. And this is someone who could sleep within five minutes of hitting the bed and sleep until the end of the world. All those minds that are producing only one word right now, please save it. I think even I know it could be that. But I prefer living in denial this one time. It is so lame - not even as if I'm doing it for the first time!
So what do I do? While I lay in bed trying my best to get some sleep, I create logical puzzles that are beyond any solutions; and later wake up all entangled. (This set was better left not attempted. ) A little illogical, you might say. But no, logic is supposed to be my strongest point. (Whoa! I think my case is worse than what I think it is!) No, man! It's cool. I even have something that my doc calls 'brahmastra' now. Ha. On a more serious note, positiveness is not something that can be easily removed from the system. Sure I am not as positive as I was last year, and that is just fair. I cannot be fretting over that. I'm human. I am still positive. And I am actually doing the Joey dance in my chair right now! What fun!

Oh, did you know that Aarbee's sense of humour is being talked about? (The eyebrows doing that dance now :D) She feels good. And she believes in her god. She also believes in things always happening for the best. A part of my superbly defective (with all defects at their peak right now) body is being taken care of so nicely that I have absolutely no right to crib. The unstable equilibrium that I seemed to have permanently imbibed in my system is getting better. [Dear mom must be happy. :P]

And oh oh, who is burning 200 calories on the treadmill for a week now? It's moi. Heeee....

Ok. Go home now. I have a bath to take, try super-hard to get some sleep, fill up a zillion application forms, do a paper's analysis, geometry questions, and hone my vocabulary. :D

Byeeeeeeee!!!

Me and My Senses

This image is making me philosophical for some reason. It's of a bottle of my favourite perfume, the one I've mentioned several times here - Nike for Woman. Smell is a very small but important part of my life, it seems. There is a smell that I can associate with almost everything around, and all the fragrances I have used till now can instantly remind me of the times when I used to wear them even if I may have forgotten when I used to wear them.
This one's been with me for over two years. I had to force myself to buy a new one to move on in life, and that is quite nice too, but this somehow seems to define me in some sense now. I don't know if my thoughts are going too abstract now, but the freshest scenes in life are directly related to this smell. The near empty bottle is probably suggesting to let go, but this one's too special. I won't be surprised if I dig this bottle out in the market again. I remember, it was almost agony that I went through when I broke the last bottle and then searched for it all over this city for over three months.

And the symmetrical drops... :) ....maybe the steps that I've been taking. Strange. :)
Funny how I'm so attached to a material thing too!

In My Small, Little World

The happiness little things bring is really beyond most things in the world. So I played a little game near my house today. There was a heap of pebbles for some construction work nearby. And I decided to get down and dirty. People stared, but I couldn't believe that I was actually smiling to myself.

This picture could not have come out worse, and I doubt if anybody can even see what I am seeing. But I see me (RB) going uphill and reaching a peak. Was a nice feeling. Is always is... :-)

BLAHing Away

Jayant's going blah and I think I'm on the same path, but considering that I have totally blocked 'life sucks' out, that's not quite what I can or want to blah about.

So what can we blah about instead? Let's see...

The names and faces on the Orkut friend list that I do not interact with AT ALL, and the desire to get rid of them all? Nah...

The phenomenon of nose related leaks? Well, it doesn't leave much to do anything anyway.

A strange song on the radio that is very strangely reminding me of an extremely strange song that I heard a friend singing a couple of years ago - teri rab ne banai pyaari dholki...
It has dirty implications and we shall not blah about it on a blog that now even family reads. :P

Kishore and Lata making a comeback (to just my playlists) and making me extremely happy? Hmm. :) But let's not kill their effect by talking about it.

An interest in Gtalk all over again? Hmm... interesting. :D

A jumpy-dance(y)-crazy mood after reeeaaallly long? It's never meant to be talked about. Come join me if you can. :D

Amazement at the fact that I am not regular to my gym even though I completely love being there? We can talk if you think you can suggest a valid reason for this.

Oh it's all just blah. Just felt like writing something..

The dreaded camera woman at it again

To my friends. Who love to get all annoyed when I fish out the camera from my bag but then end up posing quite readily too.

Till The Light Turns Green

Saw this really funky thing at a small crossing near my house. You press a button and the signal for pedestrians turns green. Now how cool is this! But I am already thinking about the unbelievable misuse it might lead to as well. Also, the chaos if it is fixed at busy intersections - there will always be people wanting to cross the road and therefore, pressing the button and stopping the traffic. I am really curious how this can work efficiently and effectively.

:P

Who still loves Abhishek Bachchan? *me*
Who had said that Kunal Kapoor is hot when Meenaxi had not even released? *me*
Who is totally enjoying every half a mm of inch loss? *me*
Who is in love with the new hairdo? *me*
Who knows how to snap out of boredom? *me*
Who is worried to the core? *me*
Who will still fight? *me*
Who will love forever? *me*
Who cannot tolerate wannabes? *me*
Who can enjoy & appreciate golgappas and faluda kulfi equally? *me*
Who needs new socks? *me* :D

On A Good Day

A non-sensical conversation with T
A work-out session when I don't run out of stamina, or maybe when I run without stamina
An opportunity to slip into my jeans
An evening with M
Another non-sensical conversation, this time with AK
A good rate of accuracy in questions solved/ a high rate of questions solved
30 minutes of FRIENDS
Fun discussions with ST
Good work by my camera


And actually this is it. I will never spend another October like this.

To Live For

'Something to die for' is a common phrase that a lot of us use for things that we feel passionately about. A cause, a desire, a person, whatever. I was thinking, should it not be 'something to live for'? There is nothing in this world that cannot function without you, me, or any one single person. So dying for anything will never lead to anything. Living for something, living for a person, living to earn something makes so much more sense. Don't you think?

Blur

I had always disliked the idea of having a dark background for my blog. It never appealed to me. Made things rather dull for me. So I refrained from using it. Then I read on someone's blog that since people complain a lot about the dark background of his blog, he wrote a post on another host and linked it to his blog. That was so sweet of him, and this is something I realise today. Over time, I have found it impossibly difficult to read blogs with dark templates. And what luck, most of the blogs that I do read are kinda painful for my eyes. Such strain! So I think I want to thank all the people with light templates today. Thank you! Really.

The Web

The autumn web...
The thoughts' web...
The energy web...
Floyd's web...
The creepy CAT's web...

.....
.....

Will Somebody Grow Up, PLEASE?

So my favourite RJ Nitin is now India's Jade Goody. The man made an outrageously politically incorrect statement on air - a clear example of how racism is deeply rooted in even the smallest form of humour all across. It was certainly not said with the intention of insulting anybody, but that happened nonetheless. But violence? It seems like that is the only answer we have got left. Whatever the situation may be. So the people in Bihar have started beating up and killing people they suspect of robbery. Maybe Sikhs should also come to the streets for every joke ever made about them. Why don't all blondes across the world do the same?
What is with the world and the word 'tolerance'?! I am not saying that we must tolerate things that need protest, but is burning up buses a way to do it? And I am very curious about how many of the people on the streets doing all this really care about the reasons. Even when a political party calls for a rally in Delhi, more than half the truckloads of people they get from villages do not know why they are here. They just know that they are being paid. And sitting here inside my comfortable home, yes, I am daring to say that most people in these mobs are not there for the reasons flashed on news channels.

So the man apologises for being politically incorrect. The 'victim' acts as the more sensible man and says that it is not an issue only to calm things down. Thank you.

But there is another politically incorrect thing that recently happened and it has not stopped making me sick. More so now that this issue came up. Karunanidhi's speech about Lord Ram. What was that? Take this as my Hindu sentiments, or know that I do not give a damn about whether Ram was in the Ramayana or Mahabharata, but I do not understand why nothing dramatic came to the streets after his speech. Are you telling me that the Sangha Parivaar does not have any more political power left AT ALL? Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that there should have been more riots. No. But why do the remarks of BJP leaders on this issue get written off as just another piece of crap from the Hindutva school. Because Karunanidhi is part of the ruling government today? Or no news channels are being influenced by the BJP today? He talks of "scientific, rational and progressive ideals" and development in the south! Ever heard of something known as a tsunami?

My concern, as all educated, sensible people's is that why do issues get blown out of proportion, why politicians can get away with whatever they want, why real issues are not even on their agendas, why all political parties in our country today are in reality on the same side, and for god's sake why can't people be more tolerant? We take pride in being multi-cultural. I am sorry that I do not get to see much of happy multi-culturalism around me. I hear of more of it in places like UK and the US. People here at least belong to the same country. Why do rascals with so-called power have no shame?

Deadly

I am not good at wording old things in a new way and that is probably why my blog was silent for even the last five days. And the only thing that is bothering me today is the word patience. I have been home for just over 20 days and it feels like eternity. It is not as if I have nothing to do, I should ideally have no time, but facing all those things that you have always avoided in one go is harder than I thought. My 2nd standard teacher had written a note in my report card - needs to practice division. I was seven years old then. I am three times that age today and feel like going back in time. And it is not just division. I remembered all my math teachers right from std. I to XII yesterday. God knows what made me a 'brilliant student' in school. I should never have been allowed to pass maths.
Of course the story does not end here. I have reasons galore to be frustrated. For instance, radio and TV. I could pick up my shoe and smash both of them. I can't imagine what older people must be going through while watching TV and those INTOLERABLE ads on it. I die. I really do. They just don't stop!!
There's more shit too but we'll not talk about it here.

Let's talk about the good things. The only good things in my life today - photography and photographs. I wonder where I was all these years. I should have known that it is my photoblog that will act as those 'comforting arms' three days ago. This is true love. And for a change I am receiving something too. Feels incredible. Makes me calm, I like it.
No, I'm not forgetting this blog. Never can. Just that I saved some people who read this space from a lot of senseless yelling while I was not here. You would have had to read words you would not have liked. So there you go, love is making me a kinder human being as well. Haina? :)

Okay. So I've given you your weekly Fuchsia dose. Check out myworldofpictures too, please. Made a few changes there and had loadsa fun. Hope you like it too. Thank you. :)

Delhi, My Home

Places I should know, and do know...
The Red Fort
The National Museum of Art
Safdarjung's Tomb
Qutub Minar
Paranthe wali gali
Iskcon Temple
Gurudwara Bangla Sahib
The Mehrauli Flower Market
Sai Baba Mandir
Cathedral of the Sacred Heart Church
The International Dolls Museum
Mughal Gardens

Can I add CP?

Still need to see...
The CP flower market
Lotus Temple
Humayun's Tomb
The Rail Museum
National museum of natural history
Modern Art Gallery
Jantar Mantar
Old Fort
...

I know tourists cover all this in a day or two, but I am taking ALL the credit for having done it (mostly) alone nonetheless. Makes me feel good.
My trips as well have been quite tourist-y so far. And I think those are necessary too. But I obviously need to see much more, and in far greater detail. So my fellow Delhiites, and Delhi lovers the same...please get the suggestions rolling and make my list as long as you can. :)

Waiting eagerly to see more of my Delhi! :D

Just a thought: One day I will make a similar post - "India, My Home" too. Do wait for that one. :)

PacMan!!

I played the game after about 14-15 months today. Had it in my old phone, and my limbs never got tired while playing. It's one of those very few games that I know of and have played. I think Mario was another. I never understood why people are crazy over PlayStation. Is it just as cool and addictive as PacMan? If it is, then I know what I'll buy with my next first salary. :P
Yayiii!!!

In Memory Of...

Toteya, manmoteya...
tu ais gali na aa;
Ais gali de jatt bure...
Te lende phaiyan pa.*

Ma happened to recite these lines today. Mati (my grandma) used to when I was very small. I think I heard them after about 12-13 years today. Would never have thought of coming across these words again. I didn't even know that I'd be able to remember them.

*It's just a little rhyming verse in Punjabi.

Qutab Minar & The Sun

Today was one of those days when I was all happy-jumpy without a reason. But shitty mood for two days was actually reason enough to be like this. So while I almost danced on my treadmill in the gym (there was music!), I also finally went to Qutab Minar. This trip was long overdue. Bad weather, non-existence of a good camera, lazyness being some of the factors for the delay. In fact, I had once earlier managed to go but was precisely five minutes late. The place shuts at sunset, and apparently that had already happened when I reached. Anyway.

So today I kept an eye on the sun throughout my little journey to Mehrauli. I thought it would be touch and go, but the guy at the ticket counter said that there's still at least another half hour to go. So I got comfortable. But this trip was unlike all my previous such outings. Shortage of time, the eagerness to take pictures, and a strange layout of the place made it a very weird trip. I didn't know where I was moving and what I was doing. The only thing I do remember, and probably a lot of other people would also remember is me running. I used to see the sun setting next to the Minar from the main road almost every day. And a picture of that was high on my agenda today. Last I saw the sun, it was still quite high. So I started wandering around. A few minutes passed and I realised that the sky was orange and pink. The sun ought to be setting. Where is it? Yeah, I know it's in the west and that is where the pretty rays are coming from too, but I don't see it! Where the fuckin' hell are you? Dude I can't see it. Uhh...kidhhaar? Phew! I went left, I went right, I walked out. I didn't see the sun. I couldn't get the frame I was dying for. Finally reached a point near the parking from where I could have seen that setting sun. The pani-wala confirmed that it is visible from there every day. But what do you know...I was again late. And maybe by not even five minutes this time! Pff!

You can see the tinge in the sky too?

Anyway. Did manage to get a few shots that I like. Did not like the place much. The Minar, of course was breathtakingly beautiful. But the surrounding area was okay-ish. I've seen better places. But I am glad to have finally visited the place. One more off my check-list. :-)

The rest of the pictures are on my Flickr page as usual.
See you around! :-)

"budum-bum-bisshh"

I tagged myself from Chitrangada's blog and did some selective answering. Here we go...

If I were a beginning,I would be: encouraging

If I were a tree, I would be: happy

If I were a musical instrument, I would be: the tabla

If I were an animal, I would be: a cow

If I were a vegetable, I would: not be green

If I were a sound, I would be: laughter

If I were a song, I would be: probably sung by some amazing voices of some hot guys

If I were a scent, I would be: fresh

If I were a religion, I would be: music

If I were a facial expression, I would be: a smile

If I were a subject in college, I would be: Floristry

If I were a quantity, I would be: difficult to measure

If I were a color, I would be: white

If I were a thing, I would be: the colour, green

If I were a book, I would be: easy to read

If I were a monument, I would be: boring

If I were an artist, I would be: a full-time dreamer

If I were a collection of poems, I would be: incomprehensible

If I were a watch, I would be: driving my boy friend crazy

If I were a theory, I would: definitely not be probability

If I were a cartoon, I would be: myself

If I were intoxication, I would be: of the opposite sex

If I were alone, I would be: quiet

If I were a question, then I would be: followed by another question

If I were a habit, I would be: the good one

If I were an end, I would be: simple

If I were you, I would be: ready to leave a comment

DONE! Fun as usual. Tag yourself if you like it. :-)
Copyright © Jayant Singh and Chandler Bing for the title. :P

Pardon Me (?)

Oh what do you know, something called Blogroll is still alive. The double starred thingi next to blogs' names is back. Maybe we should celebrate. Google Reader, anyone?

Call it 'death by chocolate' or sin, I have been indulging in it for nine consecutive days now. Care for some last bits of a still-fresh chocolate truffle cake?

100 pages of a novel in one go after almost two years. Maybe there should be an award for this too(?).

Idea sucked, Hutch sucked, and Airtel sucks too. Maybe it's just my phone, but don't you think I'd rather not pay bills than believe that it's my phone?

They say that a 2-bedroom house sold for Rs 65 lakhs. I think this "generation-Y" is expected to live on the streets in future. How will I ever build my house unless an IIM really takes me in the next academic year?

Someone says that my camera and I should get a room 'coz we're always all over the place, but don't you think I'd rather get that room in some place other than Delhi? Willing to sponsor a trip, someone?

People say that sitting in front of the computer for too long is not good for your back and neck, etc. But my muscular spasms came back as soon as I stopped spending continuous hours in front of the screen. Your expert comments...?

It's official...I'm becoming chic-like. I recently bought a floral print skirt(!) But I love myself too much to kill myself. And I won't let you kill me either. Doctor in the head says that I will be normal soon; there's no need to worry.

Dhishoom! :D

A new, asshol(e)ic instructor at the gym kept bugging me throughout my workout yesterday. I felt like punching him every time he came to check how many calories I was burning. Receiving trash for burning 105 instead of 120 calories, or being compared to an almost body-builder are not things that I can take. Whatever makes people think that they’re oh-so-smart!

Today I did burn those extra 50 calories and made it a point for him to see that too! But more than that, the sweat dripping off the edges of my hair felt kinda cool (and I do not mean literally). Ah. :P

Leaving the job is giving me time for this, at least.

This is how I talk...

When the mind goes numb...
And the thoughts don't flow;

When people diasppear...
And you don't care;

When the new guy is a control freak...
And you wanna say - "you S O B!";

When people act stupid...
And you bear the brunt;

When a new challenge begins...
And I am all set!

Another Change Coming Through...