Wishing Well

I don't know the reason, but the blogging rate seems to have dropped here in the past two weeks. Maybe I'll just claim my usual - work is getting to me. Keep that raised eyebrow away, one CAN have employers who expect you to work. And one can be good at mismanaging time too. Both together lead to an awfully busy life. To add to it, thoughts about boyfriends 24x7 do not help. The extra 's' was just for kicks.

So the new year is almost here. Until end of 2007, every new year's eve I sat at home and sulked about my unadventurous life because of unadventurous parents. This year I am sulking about a research paper. Yes, sulking is the key word. You got it right.

Anyway. It's all in the name of a subtly romantic boyfriend. So it should be ok. (Don't try too hard to find the link. I'm writing like this just for fun.)

I'm wondering what 'special' thing can be done on the blog. The new year post was done three weeks ago. :-/

I wrote a nice senti piece about Dilli Haat, but somehow never got to posting it. I almost wrote about the superbly fun and the best ever Christmas I had. AND I really wanted to write about how it feels like to be in a normal relationship. But stupid Footprints, and submissions, and reports, and research, and projects fucked my head a little too much. :-/

I seem to derive some strange pleasure out of cribbing. Therefore, please note that I AM extremely thankful to the world that conspired the delay in my departure from Delhi, but I don't know what to do with all my luggage and the bloody 20 kg baggage limit! I would not have brought all the clothes for laundry, and all the shoes I have ever owned. If you're still wondering what the issue is - I was supposed to take a train back to Pune.

Joke of the day -
Guy to a waitress: "how do you serve this dish?"
Waitress: "How do we serve this dish. In a plate (with gestures suggesting what a plate looks like)".
I was there. At the same table.

Let's hope the new year is happy and peaceful. Enjoy it. Live it! :-)

Random

Sad news: the flab is coming back. Uh, all that sweat! It is moments like this that make you want to go, "Why god, why...why me?" But can you blame me if I had a bad fall last year? If other than dislocating a bone, I also screwed some other things inside? And tell me, am I to blame if those 'other things' was a lot of space compressed between some vertebrae leading to some pressing of nerves? And that pressing decided to reboot one year later? Now I hope you do get that it is not really I(or is it 'me'?) who did all this. The funny bit is, I bear the pain, and I grow fat again. Has anybody ever heard of sharing somebody's burden? To top it all (yeah, I know it's for my own good), I almost get electrocuted every day. Science brains like T who do not want to sympathise even at my joke, would say, 'it's probably 15 amperes of current - you won't die!' Hmph! You get the darn physiotherapy done with weird vibrations running through your spine (via electrodes of course) and then talk to me! :|
But it is supposed to help. If not, well then we're in dangerous territory I guess.

I wonder how I would have killed time if I did not have all these defects to handle. Hmm...dearie god and his ways, huh? Crazy!

Talking of my forever screwed body, I think I will soon contrive (if one can) high blood(y) pressure too. Or maybe am already on my way. And this one will be rather simple, it's been in the family for generations. Coming back to the 'why' (there always IS one) behind this - yesterday I surprised not just a friend but even myself by yelling at a biker on the road. Of course, no doubt he was acting like a jerk....but two cuss words and "the road isn't made only for you!!" made him stop for a moment. As if he could beat me up or something!
And then today. I generally try to be polite with customer care people of any kind of service provider. But what are you supposed to do with several complaint numbers and being without a debit card pin for over three months? I yelled at the man today. By the way, this still is HSBC that SUCKS! DON'T ever transact with them. Even if you are dying. Take my word. So yeah, they left me yelling to myself even after I hung up. Maybe it's just the oldage that I was dreading, but it was really disgusting.

Anyway. So this is what I have been up to this past week. And of course, hoping that Shady's employers will have mercy too.
Oh yes, also doing some work which should actually be done by NDMC/CPWD. Maybe they should pay me for it, I might be able to pay at least one month's phone bill with it. Cleaning up and then paying somebody else for just carrying the trash out of the block isn't a funny job. And also have mofo neighbours staring!

So now I shall enjoy some Kishore Kumar, and you have a good night. Byeee!! :-)

PS - It doesn't seem to be a year of HAPPY birthdays (claim limited to my small world). It's Mithu's birthday today and she's spending it in a boring fashion on a train. Wish the bitch was here. Anyway, wish she has a great year and a lots of happy days ahead. :-)

Heart Throbbers

Yes, we’re talking about elevators here. They’re mean!

The main, the most important and the simplest reason is that they make my heart sink. Or maybe it’s my lungs. Or say, the liver? But definitely something that’s above the stomach and below my head.
Could it be something coming up instead of sinking? Ummm...nah! It’s definitely sinking. It goes down and hits the stomach. Everything seems to stop inside me but that bloody thing moves and all the people around me can’t feel a thing! Heartless meanies! :-/
I know I am not claustrophobic. Sure I would prefer a hospital elevator to a 3-storey residential building’s shady one but even then! At least the probability of having another human being with me in that dangerous situation is higher.
Now you would wonder that if I have such issues then why do I resort to one of these damned things at all. Fair enough. But what am I supposed to do when an aunt’s fear of escalators is overpowering (certainly it’s not greater) mine for...ahem...you know what. So the other day she made me climb into one of these at a metro station. And we’ll have to give it to DMRC for this one. It was the smoothest elevator ride ever. I could not feel when it started and when it stopped. I was impressed. But how could the impression last? Its effect was on my opinion of elevators and not of DMRC. One week later, at IGI Airport, thanks to another aunt I nearly got squashed. I mean, there were still people behind me (I always make sure there are. Only so that I don’t get squashed!!!). How could it try to close in on me? Quite obviously, my not-so-tiny feet were anyway at their speediest best. I have no love for the place that I was in. And I’m no Tom Cat anyway that it would turn me into a flat cake and I’ll smoothly come out, jerk my body two-three times and be back to normal form, or am I? No seriously...am I? The heart that was pumping at twice the normal rate could have failed if it wasn't for that God-sent man who stopped both ends of the door like Superman. By the way, did I tell you that my normal pulse rate is way above the normal normal? But nobody cares. Definitely not the elevator at the airport!

And now the next scary thought is about my to-be-office. It’s some TOWER. I don’t know which floor yet but these things in Gurgaon are quite tall, I’ve heard. What the hell will I do? Doing an ‘8 floors by stairs’ once was a moment of pride but doing something like that everyday is not a pleasant thought. I might begin to think that it will help me lose the much needed extra fat but some studies say that climbing up too many stairs is not a healthy thing for the joints. And for crying out loud, I don’t need more problems with my body! I get one generated every day. For free. I could start a business in these rather than in flowers. Humans may not be interested but green-skinned Martians could be. (My friends feel I’m gonna marry one of those ‘coz of my love for the colour. They’ve put it down in my already-prepared matrimonial. See! I’m telling you nobody really cares.)

And then they come up with jokes like this:
An American and an Englishman walk into a hotel. The American suggests they take the elevator (Fool!). The Englishman checks him – “it’s called a lift”.
“Dude, it’s an elevator. We invented it.”
“Sir, it’s a lift. We invented the language.”

By the way, only last year I needed a security man to tell me which button to press in order to get a lift stop at the floor that I was on. I know there is only one button but there are things that look like buttons at that moment. Now I know.

PS – And if you ever find me in an elevator and I look like I am praying, you should know it's just my heart that I am trying to hold on to. You need to not be numb and blank in order to pray too.

SO much for belonging to the fairer sex!

Damn I need to go and get this thing taken care of.

Go tomorrow morning.

No, I wouldn’t have time. I will have to go now!

Hi, can someone help me?

# 1: It will take time. Everyone is busy.

# 2: Or have a seat. Someone will just attend to you.

Ok.

*She looks like she’s walking towards me. But she also looks like she’s new. I hope she knows her work well.

**She begins.

*I really hope she doesn’t screw up things. Last thing I want is a mess-up here. Why do I get a feeling that she WILL do something wrong?

This one’s done. Here’s the mirror.

*Huh! This looks strange. This is not how it usually is. What is wrong! What is wrong!!!

This is too pointed. Don’t you think?

**Blank.

Umm...umm... Oh look, you’ve pulled out extra hair from here.

* Bitch! It is looking like a mountain peak. Bloody hell! Bitch! Bitch!! Bitch! I was right. I should never have let her do it.

Is it too thick?

Nahi, ye dekho. Yahan se!

*Oh I could slap you!

What is the matter?

Look, this is what has happened.

**She notices and realises.
*Of course you see what has happened. You better do something about it.

Don’t worry. I’ll make this one also like that. It wouldn’t be noticeable.

But they are different. I anyway have trouble making them look the same. See.

*See! See!! Seeeee!!!

**But she still does it. She had to.

*I know this one can do it better. I just hope I look normal.

Now see.

Hmmm. Ok.

*Give her a smile. Faint one.

Thanks.

*Whatever!!