Memory of a Memory of a Memory

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Memory!

I was just listening to fm and heard that song rang rang mere rang rang mein from the movie Bollywood Hollywood.
It reminded me of this one thing that happened in school. I got to dance with an ultra hot guy on this song. He was from St. Thomas, Dehradun. That school had come to mine for a sports meet. The dance was at the social we had with their team.

Boy! Were all the girls of my batch jealous? Or was it envious? And did i forget to mention that he asked me for the dance. :P

The best part was that it ended at 9 in the night and next day it was news!! And was I enjoying the attention or what?!!

I swear, that guy was very very handsome and smelled great too. I remember, before leaving he came up to get a picture clicked with me. Aaah...there were more eyes staring at us. Lol!!

He turned out to be bastard but then who cares!! I had a great time. Plus, a break from the fact that I was not one of the 'sought after' girls in school ( in this context) was welcome. :D :D

Yours Truly - One More Time

So. Aarbee is always supposed to be up for surprises. And surprises that she cannot have dreamt of. Ever. This time, she is sleepless. She is not sleepy when she goes to bed, is not sleepy even 2 hours later when the so-called sleep is over. Ha. And this is someone who could sleep within five minutes of hitting the bed and sleep until the end of the world. All those minds that are producing only one word right now, please save it. I think even I know it could be that. But I prefer living in denial this one time. It is so lame - not even as if I'm doing it for the first time!
So what do I do? While I lay in bed trying my best to get some sleep, I create logical puzzles that are beyond any solutions; and later wake up all entangled. (This set was better left not attempted. ) A little illogical, you might say. But no, logic is supposed to be my strongest point. (Whoa! I think my case is worse than what I think it is!) No, man! It's cool. I even have something that my doc calls 'brahmastra' now. Ha. On a more serious note, positiveness is not something that can be easily removed from the system. Sure I am not as positive as I was last year, and that is just fair. I cannot be fretting over that. I'm human. I am still positive. And I am actually doing the Joey dance in my chair right now! What fun!

Oh, did you know that Aarbee's sense of humour is being talked about? (The eyebrows doing that dance now :D) She feels good. And she believes in her god. She also believes in things always happening for the best. A part of my superbly defective (with all defects at their peak right now) body is being taken care of so nicely that I have absolutely no right to crib. The unstable equilibrium that I seemed to have permanently imbibed in my system is getting better. [Dear mom must be happy. :P]

And oh oh, who is burning 200 calories on the treadmill for a week now? It's moi. Heeee....

Ok. Go home now. I have a bath to take, try super-hard to get some sleep, fill up a zillion application forms, do a paper's analysis, geometry questions, and hone my vocabulary. :D

Byeeeeeeee!!!

Me and My Senses

This image is making me philosophical for some reason. It's of a bottle of my favourite perfume, the one I've mentioned several times here - Nike for Woman. Smell is a very small but important part of my life, it seems. There is a smell that I can associate with almost everything around, and all the fragrances I have used till now can instantly remind me of the times when I used to wear them even if I may have forgotten when I used to wear them.
This one's been with me for over two years. I had to force myself to buy a new one to move on in life, and that is quite nice too, but this somehow seems to define me in some sense now. I don't know if my thoughts are going too abstract now, but the freshest scenes in life are directly related to this smell. The near empty bottle is probably suggesting to let go, but this one's too special. I won't be surprised if I dig this bottle out in the market again. I remember, it was almost agony that I went through when I broke the last bottle and then searched for it all over this city for over three months.

And the symmetrical drops... :) ....maybe the steps that I've been taking. Strange. :)
Funny how I'm so attached to a material thing too!

My Thing(s)

A kind of a New Year beginning in a week’s time, I am itching to do my customary new-year post today, so making it an excuse and going ahead with it right away.

# I tasted failure on the second day of the year. And I am quite proud of myself to have taken it in my stride.

# I got more piercings.

# Ran away on the day of my grand mom’s funeral.

# Got a job, left it too.

# Made new friends.

# Laughed every day (without fail) for three months.

# Got interested in photography big time!

# Got a lot of material things with my own hard-earned money.

# Gathered the courage and the sense to take a big risk.

# Got hospitalized again.

# Went live on radio.

# Got a byte on TV too.

# Came on a poster as well.

# Met Nitin, talked to the COO of MEOW too. :P

# Saw Abhishek Bachchan get married, and now hearing news of Aishwarya being pregnant with his kid. :(

# Continued my Delhi sightseeing alone.

# Experienced jealousy.

# Re-learned how to drive, got my first UNFAIR challan too.

# Spent about a month with barely talking to any friend.

# Also, spent hours together (as always) with some of the nicest people on this earth.

# Been more short-tempered than I probably ever was.

# Worked for something like 12 hours non-stop – that, of course, being my record so far. :)

# Became unbelievably comfortable with, what’s up?, dude!, fucker, and so forth. :D

# Got a pseudo denture, something called “night guard” from my dentist. This is because I grind my teeth too much in sleep. Pff!

# Fell in love with the treadmill.

# Got a tiny little crush too. Really, too tiny, but super-duper cute and charming! ;-)

# Travelled alone in the city at 10 in the night! Scary! :O

# Had my first party where I was out till beyond mid-night. But it was also, probably, the worst party I have ever attended.

# Adored little kids more than I ever have, and more than I ever thought I would at this age.

# Defect of the eyes has still not stabilized: 0.25 more for each eye. :/

# I am more proficient at computer/keyboard usage than I ever was. This office taught me a lot of Ctrl+Shift+N, Ctrl+Alt+F9, and so on. I am so happy that I don’t have to use the freakin mouse much now.

# Got to know myself better, became stronger, more sensible, more focused, and maybe more in-your-face [:P] too.

It has been a fairly good calendar year so far. I have had my share of ups and downs, success and failure, challenges and struggle, and in spite of the cribbing, I am quite content and happy in life. I realize that most things here are relative, and you have to have the right perspective to understand the world around you and to remain sane. So what if friends have found jobs that keep them happy, so what if other friends are where you want to be, so what if the crush’s girl friend has a better body! It’s all cool. I will get what I am supposed to get, I am at peace with what I (don’t) have right now [:)], and will hopefully be at peace with what I get in future too. :-)

Feeling better, much better. Adios!

Mind Game

If you don’t have a real reason to be happy, can you still be happy?
If you are happy without a real reason, is that happiness hollow? Can happiness ever be hollow?
Is there any such thing as a ‘real’ reason? Isn’t life in itself a reason? Or is that only an excuse?

When you are made to sit without anything to do, what do you do? You shouldn’t think about the person who has made you sit like that. You shouldn’t think about the bad weather. You shouldn’t think about failures. You shouldn’t think about losses. You shouldn’t relate to songs and feel sad. You shouldn’t worry about problems. And there are no good things you’re being able to think about. So what do you do? Just space out?

How do you control the anger when you know it’s no good? How do you have patience when nothing’s going right? How do you let the tears drop when they don’t? How?

I won’t ask why you should still smile. I know it is in my blood and I know it costs absolutely nothing. I know I don’t need to fake it. I know it keeps me sane even when I’m insane.
Can I please say I love myself? Or is that politically incorrect? Uh, I've been moving away from being politically correct, so I think I am allowed. :-)