Tra la la...

The clouds are roaring loud;
The rain is pouring down;
And I am blogging around.

My blog is wearing new colours
And so am I.
Fuchsia is newly blue
And I’m anything but blue.

Hee! Hee! :P

It's a fair game

“Life is not fair”

A lot of people believe so. I don’t. I think life is the fairest game. Yes, its timing of moves may not be the best or the fairest but that does not mean that there is no fairness. What I believe even more strongly in is that there is no after-life. You get all that you deserve before you leave this world and you pay every single due as well. Actually, I have seen examples of people paying dues more than those getting what they deserve but that does not stop me from believing that things happen for good.

And to see them pay is not a very pleasant sight irrespective of how you know that person, how much you love or hate them, and however much you think that they are finally being set right. It is painful. People give you pain, finally get their share of pain, and then they give you a kind of pain that even they cannot help anymore.
I know my words might not be making complete sense right now but I really don’t know how to put what I am thinking. I wish somebody understood.

Here is someone whose life is nothing less than hell right now because for her entire life, she made others’ lives hellish.
And there is someone else who even though is intrinsically a good human being doing wrongs knowingly and not accepting that he is doing so. My ideas tell me that he too will pay.
I really wish nobody ever goes through that process. But that would only happen when the world becomes perfect and nobody is mean. I’m dreaming, I guess.

At Home...

I have been home for the last five days and I’ve spent time so uselessly after a really long time. At times it feels good to not do anything at all. Although there is always that pestering in the head to open some books! Even so.

Two of my friends’ brothers got married yesterday. And according to my calculations that have been happening for the last 6 years, my brother too should have been married by now. I’m still waiting.
Although, one of my cousins is getting married soon. So I am looking forward to some fun. And is buying silk as well as silver a difficult task or what! You just want to buy everything. And you CANNOT. Damn!

And oh, for the first time I saw what a bummer a dry day is for those who want to go out and have fun on a holiday.

++++++

OP Naiyyar passed away. I love that man’s music. The horses’ tap in the background of every song was awesome. Strangely, it was never annoying as one may think it would be. I hope he rests in peace.

++++++

I finally started making my scrapbook. It’s turning out to be pretty so far.

Just realised that it is a little amusing how some moments turn into memories and others into nightmares.

++++++

Papaji and I had a deal that the next time he goes out of Delhi, I’ll go with him. And his next trip was slated for March. But before that he is going to Kerala and that’s in mid Feb. And I cannot miss college at that time. I hate the situation that I am in!

++++++

I am amazed at how Moninder Singh’s son wants things to be settled outside of UP jurisdiction. Are the parents and families of all those children who got killed ruthlessly idiots? Yes, the whole country knows the current state of law and order in that state but isn’t it in just as deplorable state for those seeking justice? No doubt whatever happened was a slap in the face of all those responsible for administration, etc but I could not help but feel elated by the way that man got beaten. The whole state of things disgusts me too much!

College Sweethearts I

Time Pass

I am Vikram Khare. 23 years old, working, and living with my family. I am an ordinary guy insofar as I need and have friends, have ambitions, and try to live life happily. I think I am different from a lot of people because I get let down often since I always find people who are not like me. Of course, I understand that no two people think alike and the differences are bound to be there but I get misunderstood or not understood at all quite often.
Maybe my thoughts get a little too idealistic at times, but I like things that way. I don’t see why it is necessary to be crooked to handle the world around me. I am sure there must be some way I can remain honest and truthful in future just the way I have been in the last 23 years.

No, I am not always like this. I am like any other guy who believes in keeping things simple, does not understand a woman’s mind, and thinks that alcohol isn’t all about getting drunk.

I don’t have many friends but the ones I do have are all good and close. I have been collecting them from school onwards. Guys from my basketball team in school, girls whom I found cute in the initial days of college, and a few people from here and there. They’re all people who make me happy every time I see them and that’s more than good enough for me. We’re a bunch of crazy idiots at times, and sensible grown-ups meeting life every day at others.

You must be wondering why I am telling you all this. Actually, my ex used to write a journal and I always wondered what the deal was about that. Now that we’re not together any more, I thought I should give it a try. But since this is a blog and maybe some people will read this, I thought I’ll write a little something about myself first. It’s turning out to be fine so far.

She was a nice girl, you know. We were together for almost a year. But I don’t know what went wrong. She said to me that she cannot understand me. But I thought I’m a simple guy who doesn’t think too much. Oh! Is that why I never understood her (as she says)? But I did understand her. She loved me, she cared for me, she understood ME, gave me a lot of space but was always there for me too. She wasn’t too needy, was always (almost) composed, and just a sweetheart. I thought I could spend the rest of my life with her. But maybe things weren’t meant to be. I miss her. She looked cute when she smiled.

Anyway! I love driving my other and only sweetheart a lot. My lovely, black bike. She and I have been together for a longer time – 4 years. And she is cute too. No, she’s hot! She helps me fly!

Hmmm...this writing business is making me philosophical. It’s not bad but what’s the need for it? People say it might let your creativity flow. Isn’t my creativity visible in my dirty jokes? Some say that you feel lighter after writing. Dammit, I am talking to a computer screen. This is heavy stuff!
But nobody had asked me to write. I chose to try it myself. Hehe... Yeah I know it's lame.

I don’t think I can do this every night. I’d rather sleep for an extra 15-20 minutes.

Vik

Delhi and Me

In my now usual course of getting late because of laziness in the morning, today I completely forgot that the Republic Day Parade rehearsals begin at 9:15 a.m. That means that bus routes get diverted and for people like me it means that we’re gonna reach college even later.
My bus dropped me quite a distance away from the metro station, so I walked. Good decision of wearing sneakers helped - I was almost jogging. I thought my exercise for the day is done but I was wrong. In the afternoon, I had to go to Patparganj and for that had to change the metro at Kashmere Gate. Looking at the rush I thought I’ll take the stairs instead of the escalator. And two sets of them! I died! If only I could pant with my tongue out! If you haven’t been there, please don’t be surprised. Each of these sets had 5 flights of about 10-12 stairs each. And for someone who has always lived on the ground floor, even one flight of stairs to the first floor is a pain.

Then I saw a completely new part of Delhi. I’d never even heard of places like Kanti Nagar. Chaos is the word to describe those roads. The number of traffic signals on my little route reminded me of South Delhi of 4-5 years back. But really, it felt like I was in some other city. Delhi might be a dot on the map of India but it really IS pretty huge.

___

I've also been watching the new season of Kaun Banega Crorepati for the last two days. Our new host is not bad but nothing and nobody can be compared to Amitabh Bachchan. He's just too good. But Shah Rukh Khan is doing it in his own style and his attempts at being funny aren't too bad either.

And well, I'm trying to enjoy the last few days of college life as well. It's nice.

Fears vs Serenity vs Joy

In the recent past I have given up a lot of things and beliefs that I thought brought me good luck while perhaps it was just what my mind believed to be true. And I think I am sort of happy about it. Of course, the reason is just as simple as that I realised the truth.
But then there are these other thoughts that have found a corner in my mind and they direct some of my actions. I know that they are not wrong or negative but just the fact that they are different from how things were earlier makes me think a little more as to which one is better.

Every time something good happens, even though I do feel like writing about it (like I used to) I don’t. And it's not as if I am forcing myself.

I realise that my mind is a little over-worked at present but I think I am doing just fine. At least I’m still in the category of normal as per my definition of it.

But this is my phase of neutrality. And it gives me a good enough opportunity to smile.
So here I am; I did not write about what I was contemplating but I’ve written a whole lot of other stuff. :-)

On Fuchsia Now

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are not a very grounded person. You prefer dreams to reality. For you, it's all about possibilities. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there. For you, falling in love is all about the adventure and uncertainty. You can only fall in love with someone who keeps you guessing.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself. For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself. You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you. People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?

I hope people see me as dependable.

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Thank God I'm a girl and then 70% feminine. I'm ok with being 30% boyish if I remember how tomboyish I used to be.

Your Life Is Worth...

$728,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

I had to fake one answer for this since there was no suitable option for one of the questions.

This isn't too much money. But still, anyone wanting to kill or adopt me?

You Are 16% Gross

You're not gross, but you tend to think everyone else is. And you're right... they are! Some people may think you're a neat freak, but at least you'll never die of flesh eating bacteria.

How Gross Are You?

Oh yes!

Most of these are not 100% true, I think. But it's always a lot of fun to do this. It's a good way of taking care of a sucky mood if you don't feel like moving your lazy ass for it.

How Does It Work?

I have always maintained that any sort of behaviour from a person is primarily because of what he or she is as an individual and not because he belongs to or is a part of a particular community. And I have always defended this stand too because I truly believe in it.
But something that I have been noticing around me for a long time makes me a little less bent on this.
I see that the language of people from DU is very different from that of people in any engineering college as also from someone who is studying in a professional college doing a course like BBA, BBM or even journalism. For that matter, the MBBS lingo is different from all of these too. And I really wonder how varied the culture in these places could be to bring about such a difference because it is probably not just language but something more too.

Really! I see friends from school who are now doing different things and the transformation in everyone is very visible. The ‘DU crowd’ is distinguishable from the ‘IIT/DCE brand’ very easily. In fact, having been a part of DU for nearly three years and having been using the metro for more than a year, I can even tell which group of people are from which college quite accurately. Looking at people I can tell that they’d get off at Kashmere Gate because they are going to DCE or at Rajiv Chowk because they are going to NSIT. Within DU, the wannabes of Khalsa, Stephen’s and Hansraj, the Venky we’re-the-coolest kinds, the JMC chicks, are all very different from each other too (No offence, people! I’m not doubting the genuine cases of these institutions). And it’s really amusing how that can be.
Oh, it suddenly feels like DU is quite crappy. Crap!

How if anything has to be appreciated, it is everything from ‘mast/tashni’ to ‘hot’ to ‘pretty cool’. They’re all very common terms (at least in Delhi) but they’re still representative of people from different institutions in some sense.

Almost all my friends who are future engineers and doctors have a certain degree of crudeness (Not in a negative sense) whereas, those who were quite crude even after school ended and joined DU have a polish (genuine or fake is another debatable topic though).

On a personal level, I know that the difference in culture can become an issue big enough to lead two people who are at the same level initially to being led in completely different directions and lose on compatibility.

I don’t know if I am being able to convey what I am thinking but I am highly curious about how this happens. How is it that people had started identifying me as a person with the ‘DU attitude’ right after 1st year? Why do people from say, JIMS or a similar place have an air about them which talks of a completely different world?

I am still very sure that this does not mean that the individual style gets lost but in this case the influence is definitely heavy.

DK, Subhadip and Sayani Di, I’m expecting some psychological/sociological, etc kind of reasons from you guys. Enlighten me, please. :-)

AB Again

So what if Gurukant Desai didn't look hot? He looked cute in his younger years. And the man has some personality to be what he was!

I liked everyone's acting in the movie. Ms To-be-Bachchan was also ok. Approved!

And Bachchan of course is still hot. :P

It Works

This is something that I had cut out of a newspaper quite a few years ago.
I think I am digging up a lot of stuff nowadays but at times, it feels good to go back to certain things. The reason why they were saved was to make me feel good on a later date.

# The greatest asset: Faith

# The most effective sleeping pill: Peace of mind

# The worst thing to be without: Hope

# The most beautiful attire: SMILE!

# The most powerful channel of communication: Prayer

# The most contagious spirit: Enthusiasm

# The most destructive habit: Worry

# The greatest joy: Giving

# The greatest loss: Loss of self respect

# The greatest problem to overcome: Fear

# The most worthless emotion: Self-pity

# The two most power-filled words: I can

Happy Lohri

Today was a long day. With a mere 4 hours of sleep last night, I was up at 4:00 a.m. There was more of Economic Systems to study. And at the end of it, I felt that I wasn’t really in too bad a state. But the bloody luck! I blanked out during the exam. Looking at the question paper, I knew that I know the answers to certain questions but when I started writing, I could not write. So this one’s down the drain. I don’t know if it is any consolation that a lot of other people did badly too but I’m cool. I am not really too worked up this exam season. I guess all the entrances have made me immune to all kinds of nervousness.
Anyway!

After the exam, Tarun and I went to D School…had some work. And as usual, our long journey back home was fun. It always is.

I have been thinking about my college scrapbook for the past few days. I think I’ll start working on it after the exams. Quite excited about it. I have lots of ideas but there are still quite a few things that I want to decide upon. I’m sure it is going to be a lot of fun.

The evening was supposed to be good fun too. It was one of my cousin’s first Lohri after his wedding. Dad and I went to their place. Almost the whole family had gathered. Talking, singing, getting money, advising my kid brother on his options after 12th, eating popcorn, and simply enjoying...did all of it. Also talked about how our generation has grown up – another 2 years and everybody will be out of school; another few years and the elder most will probably start having kids and another cycle will begin.

Dadi’s back home. Chacha's family came with us because Agneesh wanted some of my books. She was really happy to see all of them and even if for 5 minutes, she did not talk about all her troubles. I wish there was some way to keep her distracted all day.

This was a nice day. There were no extremes and there was a change from the routine. Liked it.

There are a lot of changes that I am noticing around me nowadays. One of them is the way I write. It feels different and not quite in a nice way. I think I know what's amiss and that is something that I don't want to change maybe. But there's something more too and I don't know what that is.

Overstepped The Border

One day before an exam that I am 90% sure of flunking, I am sitting online and reading up ( As if there's isn't already an overdose of it!) things that would give me a clearer idea of what one of the readings are saying about a Marxist idea - Organic Composition of Capital.

Now, who would want to call me a useless Eco student just not fit to appreciate the beauty of the subject?

Damn you, if you did! If not anything else, I am a purist. ( Yeah Amiya, I liked it when you used the word for me :D)

What is it...

...That makes you happy and smiling

...That you don’t need company for

...That you can do or use at any time and any day

...That you like going back to

...That you forget works for you

It’s dancing for me.
What about you?

???

A lot of things are beyond comprehension nowadays...

# How people survive this cold without warm clothes

# How Comparative Economic Development as a subject of study came into being

# How people get swayed by others' opinions

# How most socialist writers of the 20th century had a rheotorical tone throughout

# Why it is said that all good things come to an end

# Why some things are too hard to digest

# Why the metro can't pick me up from my house and drop me inside my classroom

# Why the body can't adapt itself to only the kind of food that we give it? Why does it want more?

# Why old wounds hurt in bad season

# Who gave importance to the word 'importance'

# Why I want people around me and at the same time don't want them

This won't end, I guess.

The Love Continues...

It is almost three years since I completed school. And thankfully, I am not over it still. That tells me that I never will be, just like I always wanted. It is not that I don’t like my life as it is today, just that I still feel that I belong to Frank Anthony. I think it is essential to have a sense of belonging in order to feel complete in any environment.

I spent the later half of the 31st night going through my school scrapbooks. I look at them quite often but that night I lived those pictures and those moments again. And as always, nothing can be compared to that feeling. I’ve managed to retain all the good things from school including all the people that I liked. Some of them chose to move on and I’m fine with that too now.

I have been registered with a Yahoo! Group for my school alumni for a very long time but only recently I started interacting with people there. Most of them, so far, are more senior than super-seniors – people whose children are maybe my age. Yet, it doesn’t feel for even one moment that I am talking to someone who is old. There is such a lot of energy flowing in all the group messages and in the pictures, and just the feel of fapsdelhi is incredible.

I clicked some pictures of the same pictures today. As in, they are all stuck in my scrapbook so I clicked one more time. They're not too clear but that's cool. They're clear to me. :D

This was the first time I participated in a folk dance competition. I was in 11th. My house won the folk dance category as well as the talent contest which used to have many other events.

That's my Accounts teacher, Mr Roy (Everybody called him Talli because all he thought and sought was alcohol) from 12th. My class teacher was absent on the day of the class photo.

This was the last Sports Day that I participated in. I had fractured my left foot two days before it but I still marched. It was the most important event of our Sports Day celebrations. We still won the cake for the best house for marching and otherwise also won while creating history when our total score crossed a 1000 points. Ecstatic was how I felt that day.

Like I said, marching was the most important event of the Sports Day. So the practices used to begin almost a month in advance. I loved giving those commands that went like, "Barrow House...by your left, forwaaaaard march!!!"

My house was on a roll those 2 years when I was in 11th and 12th. I was participating left, right and centre in all possible events. I was a prefect in 11th and the captain of my house in 12th. We made those other houses cry so much! Marginal differences in points at times, and HUGE gaps at others. We had the best debaters with us, the best runners, the best singers and the best dancers. The bestest thing though was that we were never over-confident. That was just not a Barrow House charactertistic. We stayed silent and let others do the talking. Only now I am talking! :D

Socials, 12th standard - 6th December, 2003

Socials was a dance party that the 12s gave to the 11s. It was more like a pre-farewell sort of informal party. LOADS of fun. This was the last dance party that I was going to attend at school so I cut the plaster that I had got on my foot just a few days before it. I paid for having done that though. Lesson: Don't fuck around with injuries!! But what the heck... I had to dance!

This was Scribble Day - February 5th, 2004.

The scribbling was fun but the formal farewell that we were given before that was something that I cannot describe in words. That was the first time I related to the song "I believe I can fly". Everybody had tears in their eyes. The tears, I think, were not because people were sad that school was over but because we got such a lot of motivational words from our principal and teachers that I think we can use them for the rest of our lives.

I just had one more picture to upload and my internet connection isn't letting me. Bugger! :(

Anyway, this has been one of the most fun posts to write.
The best years of my life so far... in my dearie FAPS!

100 Percent

This is a picture of Ma's Pa or Papaji as everybody in the family addresses him. I have had this picture for a few weeks now and every time I thought about it, I felt that I should write a post about him. But I think it would be unfair if I attempt to do that because there is so much to be known about him by those who don’t. There is so much to be told by someone like me who lived the first few years of her life with him. And one post or even my ability to put thoughts into words would not be enough.

I just love this picture. I love him. Today, I am ambidextrous, confident about myself, hopeful about travelling, appreciative of sketching, interested in learning Urdu, understand what determination really is, and a lot more because of him.

In The Air

I discovered a new method of raising the energy level today. I was surprised by the results but was definitely more than happy to accept them.

It is something as simple as JUMPING. I usually do a lot of jumping around but that is very different from what I did today. That is when I am anyway high.
And if it is as part of an exercise routine which is how it was supposed to be today too then it’s just another exercise.

But today, as soon as I started it, it induced some strange but amazing feeling. I definitely felt retarded but that’s what the whole point is. It was A W E S O M E!

- January 3rd.

The Current List

...of 10 things that make me happy. I made such a list about a year ago and am doing it again. I had to undo the state of mind and the post that happened last night. This took a little effort but still works. Thanks Sayani Di for introducing me to this technique.

# Faisal Kapadia’s voice. It’s complete magic.

# Mom’s patience and hugs.

# Nitin’s jokes and kisses.

# The winter chill.

# Mithu’s SMSs.

# My favourite light blue sweater that Mummyji knit for me.

# The Faber Castell highlighters that I use – Pink, Green and Orange.

# My Converse chappals.

# A good hair day.

# The vibe that I get from Sanmeet Sir.

:-)

Somebody Stop!

IMS

You are important to us.
Enrol for CAT ’07/ CAT ’08. We give you proper guidance. Always at your service.

M*****F****** don’t even have those people’s names in their data anymore who are still attending goddamn classes at their centre. The student page does not exist.


Hutch

Hiiii! Welcome to Hutch!
Their customer care executives have been attending to other customers for over 36 hours. Go Anil Ambani!!


Osaka
We love salt. It is being sold in the market for free. Our special for New Year’s – salt noodles, salt potatoes, salt manchurian, salt BLAH!

We are the IIMs. We don’t care to put up any information on any of our websites. Don't you just love us?

We are Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox. We refuse to load the site that you want to visit. We don’t mind redirecting you to other sites though.

We are DU. We believe in obsolete, obscure, sucky, sleep-inducing curriculum. Read it. Read more of it. We have extra suggested reading too. See, your teacher loves us. She will give those optional readings for the exams too. We SUCK!

We at Eveready don’t believe in quality anymore. You buy new batteries and we guarantee that they will NOT work.

I am your mind. I believe in bothering you as much as I can because you use me too much. Take a break and give me a break, woman!