The Girl Everyone Knows

What’s your story, she asked.

Ordinariness is the story.

I expect the sun to shine every day.

I want a fit body, a dog, and a nice guy to live with. Not particularly in that order. Or maybe, yes.

I expect. I expect people to call. I expect people to take care of me. I expect friends to understand without me having to say anything. I expect close ones to feel my pain. And because I expect so much, I don’t expect anyone to do anything. Well, almost. I manage myself very well now. I am as independent as you can imagine.  

I lose myself every time a guy is nice to me. I scare people off with the cold look on my face.  

I fear being surrounded by shadows in the dark.

I rejoice at nothing. I thought about it. I am a happy person, albeit with some scars. But there is nothing that surprises me. There is nothing that I don’t expect. So there is nothing that I get delighted about.

I dance to the sound of the dhol. I pretend to dance to the sound of whoever is popular. I swing to trance depending on the amount of alcohol in my system. That is rare.

I get goose bumps when I listen to Shubha Mudgal sing, “hazaaron khwaishein aisi”. I get moved by the melancholic baritone. I used to listen to Jagjit Singh and Hariharan during my teenage.

I talk to dogs on the street. I smile at the moon. I beam at a full moon.

I have stood under the shower and cried. I have been on the bathroom floor imagining psychedelic colours in the water.

I don’t like strangers touching me. At the risk of touching them, I want to slap people who can’t respect others’ physical space. But I choose the next best alternative – the eyebrow! Works well on most occasions.

Not even beginning to talk about personal space here.

I say the gayatri mantra every morning when I step out of the house. As many times as it takes to not get irked by mails I don’t want to see, people honking, men peeing on the street. Peace.

I am extremely lazy when at home. I don’t even get up to pee if I don’t feel like getting out of bed. No gayatri mantra either.

I feel good when my leg doesn’t hurt while walking. I love running. I don’t run. I can’t run.

I love clear skies. Delhi almost never has a clear sky. Today it does. It is beautiful.

I am not a foodie. I am very happy with a good daal. But I love gorging on chaat and mithai. And I do need comfort food on bad days.

I am vegetarian because I can’t imagine eating an animal. But I love leather bags and shoes. Hypocritical much?

I wish to travel endlessly. But I do get tired after a few days away from home. I need that comfort to recharge.

I don’t like being in a comfort zone. I procrastinate.

Appreciation for my work gives me a high. Appreciation for work that I didn’t do makes me uncomfortable.

Liars infuriate me. I have managed to control my temper rather well in the past couple of years. Maybe it has something to do with coming back and staying with family.  

I love flowers. Colours make me happy. Rainbows are overrated. So are perfect features. Yes, talking about Aishwarya Rai and Katrina Kaif.

I get inspired easily. I lose interest easily.

I don’t dream for the fear of never realising the dreams. There is no bucket list. There is no end to the list of things I want to do before I kick the bucket.

I think I have practical, achievable goals in life.

My thing? Being confused. About everything in life. There is laughter in my head when someone says I have a clear mind.

I love easily. I trust easily. I step back before I start trusting anyone.

I like to learn my own lessons.

I have no memory left of the guy I thought I first loved. I am still in love with the first guy I truly loved.

I love the sea! It makes me extremely happy. Maybe that is what delights me. Yes, it does.

I don’t have money to make the down payment for a house I want to buy.

I get carried away. Very easily.