New Rule Adopted*

I think I would have had a breakdown if this evening had come before this job did; I would thus not have been able to write about faith in the previous post. The fourth fracture that evens out the plaster balance of both feet.

*Never ever to take stairs again. Anywhere in the world. Even if my heart stops beating in a rickety elevator.

Reflections

Dreams come to you in sleep. Rather, when you stare wide into infinity. But the realisation of them takes time. It takes patience. It takes courage. It takes facing a whole lot of people who hate your guts. And it takes the kind of strength you didn't know you have.

It calls for smiling when you hate everything around you. It calls for waking up every morning in spite of thinking the previous night that you might just die in sleep. And you know what else? Knowing that it is just the beginning.

These are thoughts that I imagined about today a few months back. Now these words sound a little extreme to me, but I still want to register them for all those days that I spent struggling to stay above the line. I want to not forget the time when people made me abhor people, and the concepts of trust, expectations, and belief.

Surely this was also the time when some other people stood by. And that is why I say, 'my faith keeps me going'.

Definition of Good Friday

I waited for the 'right' job for more than 10 months. But when it came along, it did so in a snap. All the things that did not work out have left me very unsure about how 'right' this one really is, but logic and sense say that it is. And for now we are leaving it at that.

So, this Friday I went in for induction and a meeting. It was a rather important meeting and I felt great being a part of it. I was not expecting day 1 to bring anything spectacular with it, so it felt even cooler just being there in the moment.

The awesomeness of the day continued with managing a seat on the metro on my way back. My iPod also saw light of day after really long. It had the old playlist in it which brought back a lot of memories from Pune, both good and not-so-good, but it was nice feeling that music again.

I came home and made a number of phone calls to the people who helped during the struggle. The highlight was talking to my grandparents. All four of them. Making them happy is an overwhelming feeling. Every single time.

Then I connected with a few cousins, and next thing we knew.. it was 1:30 am, and four of us were driving out for some official celebration! Things like these do not happen with me in Delhi. Neither for the two other girls with me. We had to make up a few stories, bring in a few confidantes, and the mood got rolling!

We first went to Cibo at Janpath. Apparently it is one of the better places to party these days. But what we saw when we went in was the last thing we'd have expected to see. There was a big group of surds dancing to hardcore punjabi music. The kind that is easily detestable. But we decided to stick around for a while because things were slightly bearable thanks to the punju connection. More so because it was too late to think of going some place else. We drank. We danced. And in the end, when the DJ played corny Bollywood tracks, we were happy too. :)

It was around 3:00 am when we left from there. Nidhi thought we should look for food now. Samridhi and I felt we should look to move home now. But Agneesh felt we should try to get into Agnee at The Park for some extended fun. Especially because the scene at Cibo wasn't particularly what we had set out for. And the moment we entered Agnee the past hour felt like such a waste! The music was great, the ambience was good, and there weren't any shady surds dancing with a glowing mobile phone set in their belt. We danced like crazy for the next one hour. I know I for sure was having the time of my life. Definite glances from two cute guys made it even more entertaining. :D

We left from there around 4:15 am. First we were to drop Nidhi and Samridhi back. I act responsibly 9.9 out of 10 times, so it was tooooo much fun speeding and singing out loud in chorus (no, the windows were not rolled down), on empty roads.

After that we quietly left my brother's car back at my place, picked Agneesh's bike, and moved to his place. So, just as I thought that I had had the perfect few minutes on the road, the 5:00 am cold air hit me hard on my face!

Yes, Delhi is festive again. And I do not feel left out.

Would not have been possible to move out had he not come over to congratulate! :)

PS - I do NOT like beer. Yes, I have tried those fancy brands too. :

All Yours.

• A friend of 14 years is getting married.
• A friend with whom I once shared the concept of soulmate is getting married.
• A friend decided to get married but unfortunately the relationship ended right after she got engaged.
• A friend/classmate from a few years ago is also getting married.
• And so is another close friend.

It is not like I do not have friends who are already married. But they are all older than me. These are people my age. Women my age.

When I was younger, I used to think 24 is the perfect age for a girl like me to get married. These are all girls like me. But as you may have guessed, my thoughts have changed a tad bit. And I am under an unspoken pressure. Of a different kind.

First of all, today, I do not know a guy I would like to marry. I can force* myself to imagine maybe, but then I don't think he would be imagining as vividly as I would. Secondly, professionally, I am far from settled enough to think about getting married. And thirdly, unlike the situation that most of my female friends find themselves in, I have a strange pressure from extended family and relatives. Even from my dad. I am expected to be VP of an organisation or live & own property in Manhattan before I think about things like marriage. They get the idea from most of my female cousins. The average age at which they got married is 30. So in a way, maybe it's a good thing I am not dating anyone right now because if I went to my parents with the idea of a marriage, I would have to stamp the big L on my forehead myself.

Now, about my thoughts. You know that I want to be VP of an organisation by the time I am 30. There is no doubt about that. And I will get there. Almost beside the point. The point here is that I don't want to be single when that happens. Of course, going by how things move in life, I know I have no control over how life will unfold in the next six years. But this is my perfect world we are talking about tonight.

Some of you whom I may have befriended in the last 2-3 years may not know the romantic in me. You may have even heard me say that I am not romantic. I am aware of times I have said so on this blog too. There are many reasons, incidents, people that make me do that, but yes, I do not like admitting that I too imagine and visualise the perfect world. I may not fancy a typical knight in shining armour or a going-down-on-his-knees scene, or even a desi version of it, but let's just say there isn't no reason why I obsess about things like flowers so much. However, I am good with the pretence. Even that friend of 14 years believes I am more practical than anything else. Sometimes I wish at least there was someone who knew what I really thought. Although I guess that's asking for too much. And... I like being practical too. So what I really wish for is someone who knew when I like being romantic and when I like the practical me to take over.

And then there are these words that echo in my head everytime I let my mind drift in this direction. There was a man who was known to be extremely obnoxious by most people around him. I was one of them. But he had once said that as we grow older, our insecurities, skepticism, and things we are rigid about only increase. And that in turn is not a good thing for a woman who may have to 'adjust' to a lot of things when getting married. And as dry as that sounds to the rebels in us, I personally feel there's truth to it. What adds to my insecurities is the fact that I know as I am growing older, my cynicism and extreme opinions are going off limits. So while I do not want to get married tomorrow morning, I think I will have too much baggage to handle as years pass by. And Subhadip's 'selective progeria' never ceases to haunt every empty moment of my life.

For now, the good thing is that I already have a lot of wedding-y clothes. And I am ready to partayy!! :D

PS - If you are a guy freaking out because of these things that I am saying, I will let you stereotype the moment. But in case you want to date me, why don't you connect with me! :D

*Now you know I do not need to force myself. Some thoughts flow more smoothly because there is no sense to them.

When CWG & Cheese Made My Sunday!

When you have a crappy day, life does give you a good day too. I have had crappy 10 months and cannot wait to begin my awesome 10 either. For now, let me just give you an account of the one good day that I had after a super-sucky Saturday.

After some decent sleep after several days, I woke up around noon this Sunday to be ready in time for my lunch appointment with Ridhima and Swetha. The two women I literally lived with for the past two years. I was seeing them after six months. I am tired of saying that time flies, but yes, it does.

So, CP, the central place was inaccessible and kinda closed because of the CWG cycling event and we had to find another location to meet. I forgot that I had sworn to not visit the Rajouri malls on a Sunday and agreed to meet them there for lunch. I then waded through to the West Gate Mall to see them at TGIF. I don't know why, but I had never visited that restaurant earlier and had an impression that it has good ambience. Well, that wasn't true but the food certainly did not disappoint.

It was good to see the girls after so long. We talked, and could have gone on for the rest of the day, but I had more plans for the evening. But before leaving, I did shop for a rather smart sweater with them. :D

Ridhima and I took the same train towards CP. She was going home, and I was headed towards the Jawahar Lal Nehru Stadium. We boarded the women's coach, a first for me. It felt a little odd, but was certainly more comfortable than the rest of the train. While I did not get space to sit, at least I got to stand in peace. Then I switched the train at CP, and then at Central Secretariat. At C. Sec, there seemed to be no directions near the platforms regarding how to make the switch. It took me a while and a few more clueless people to figure that I should move one level up if I want any information at all. I finally saw the new platform and got shoved into the train thanks to the maddening crowd. It seemed like the whole world was going to the same stadium to watch the same event. And I was not wrong. The stadium with a capacity of 60,000 was almost full. Most people used the Metro to get there. I do not want to criticise, but the well-managed venue missed the metal around my leg. The Metro guys had missed it too today. Yep, loopholes.

The packed stadium

I was there to watch some athletics with two of my cousins. While we were walking in to find a place to sit, the noise was unbelievable. Of course, had to be an Indian doing well. At discus throw this time. The sport might not be exciting, but with that kind of numbers cheering together, everything becomes exciting.

With Daksh, Bhrigu and our make-do phone camera

There were many events running simultaneously. India was doing well in men's discus throw, and women's long jump. We got a silver in both. But the loudest cheering happened for Tintu Luka who won an 800 m race. It was one of the heats, but her margin was supercool!

Men's 400m hurdles

Women's 200m final

Parasports

A very rare but heartening sight. The picture is blurred, but people stood for every nation's anthem every single time.

We were there till around 8:30 pm. We kept hoping for a chance to hear our own anthem, and long jump did seem promising for a gold until almost the last jump, but we were not in luck. So we decided to move for dinner. This time at Flavors in Defence Colony. That's another place which never disappoints with its food. Nice, authentic-ish, Italian stuff. And for the perfect end, we shared a perfect chocolate mousse.

Blurred long jump in action :)

These last two pictures are from Friday's weightlifting event that I had managed to attend with Daksh again.

A day well spent.

Feet Don't Lie

Red nailpaint on toenails is more than colour or fashion. In fact, it is way beyond a statement too. It is a personality type. As a result, very few women can pull it off. Half of them do not realise that you could have well-pedicured feet but they are not a sufficient condition for red nailpaint to look good on you. But the thing is, they certainly are a necessary condition. You could feel you are ready to take that step, but not unless you have those pretty feet! And I could keep my feet as clean as possible, but they would never become the white that they should be for red to not look bad. And that is another way of saying that I could think to myself that I am that personality type now, but my feet won't lie.