This past year brought with it a new revelation. Something that has a strange paradox in the centre.
About eight years ago, somebody told me that I am a little too approachable. That people find it easy to come to me and speak their mind, and that isn't always a good thing because at times I end up getting hurt/offended in the process. I agreed, but did not know what to do to change things.
After all these years, I am standing at the other extreme end of approachability. My cynicism, insecurities, arrogance, and emotional baggage coupled with this thought at the back of my mind made me what I am today.
There were innumerable instances where directly or indirectly I was informed that people are 'scared' of me. And not in a very positive way. I like it if I think of it as something that makes people think twice before saying something to me. But then, if that's something that makes so many people have a negative perception of me, I am not too sure if it's such a great thing.
From where I stand today, my 23 years tell me that it's ok if this is the case. I've seen my mom be all that I am not anymore. It's sure brought her a lot of appreciation and love from people outside of her immediate circle, but then it has brought more hurt too. I like to believe that people who know me see the person that I am beyond this outer crust. If I need a life-changing, attitude-changing humbling experience to get out of this mode, I can't say. Or if this post becomes redundant by the time I am 30 or something, only time will tell.
About eight years ago, somebody told me that I am a little too approachable. That people find it easy to come to me and speak their mind, and that isn't always a good thing because at times I end up getting hurt/offended in the process. I agreed, but did not know what to do to change things.
After all these years, I am standing at the other extreme end of approachability. My cynicism, insecurities, arrogance, and emotional baggage coupled with this thought at the back of my mind made me what I am today.
There were innumerable instances where directly or indirectly I was informed that people are 'scared' of me. And not in a very positive way. I like it if I think of it as something that makes people think twice before saying something to me. But then, if that's something that makes so many people have a negative perception of me, I am not too sure if it's such a great thing.
From where I stand today, my 23 years tell me that it's ok if this is the case. I've seen my mom be all that I am not anymore. It's sure brought her a lot of appreciation and love from people outside of her immediate circle, but then it has brought more hurt too. I like to believe that people who know me see the person that I am beyond this outer crust. If I need a life-changing, attitude-changing humbling experience to get out of this mode, I can't say. Or if this post becomes redundant by the time I am 30 or something, only time will tell.
2 comments:
Makes me smile. Don't ask me why.
I'm just wondering why. :)
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