Showing posts with label Feel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feel. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I swing...

Between giving up and fighting it out...
Between numbness and multitude of thoughts...
Between fresh air and suffocation...
Between company and isolation...
Between wanting things to be the way they used to be and moving on...
Between being alert and spacing out...
Between smiles and tears...
Between me and myself.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Kid No More (?)

# I don’t get everything I want.
# When I can’t sleep or get nightmares, I don’t have Ma sleeping next to me to hold on to.
# Crying doesn’t lead to fulfilment of wishes.
# Everything that I say is taken seriously. Even when I don’t want it to be so!
# People expect.

But I still am the kid of my house.

# I have no responsibilities.
# I can run away from things I don’t like.
# I can make demands.
# I am protected.

Good balance, is it?

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Comfort Discomfort Together Together

The winds of the last two days are accompanied by rain today. It feels good to know that winters haven't completely gone. But winter rains are a little depressing too.

One moment I was enjoying the chill in the air with friends ; walking absolutely oblivious to the rain drops the next.
Felt like listening to music one moment; wanted quiet the next.
Desired company but liked being alone.
Wanted to feel the breeze on my face but also wanted to stay away from it.
Thought that everything should stop for some time - I liked the peace; but then I just wanted to rush home - away from the chaos caused by the weather.

Moving on, I took a bus back home from college today - just like I always do on a good-weather day. Was alone for a change. In the middle of my long ride, I realised that I really wanted to feel the weather (good or bad, happy or sad) and so I got off the bus one stop before my usual. And so I started walking slowly. In nearly ten years, it was the first time I walked on the flyover next to my house. All flyovers should have sidewalks like this one. The view from the middle of it - the runway of the airport on one side and little dumping ground with old cars,etc on the other. That point also brought back memories of a sunset that made a moment surreal but I was not going to stop. How or why could I?! Even though I was moving very slowly I was off the flyover within ten minutes. So I decided to take a detour and walk more. That's when I also called Subhadip and that's when it started raining again. So the stroll got converted into a brisk walk while the conversation was maintained at the usual, casual stuff. By the way, my umbrella was safe and dry in my bag. Who would have wanted to disturb the perfect picture!

Got home all drenched and saw Dadi with a bandage on her head. She had a bad fall in her own room. Things just keep getting worse...

And it's just been a lazy, rainy, Saturday since then.