While coming back, sitting in his car made me feel I was in Delhi. I felt as if I had spent a long day out with friends and now one of them was going to drop me back home. I did not want to come back to the hostel. Not because I don't like it, but because I suddenly realised that the life I have given up is very different from the one that I am living now. I wanted to go back. I know there will hardly be anyone there to spend time with, but all memories of all the times spent with different friends came rushing back. I have been struggling with them for more than 24 hours now. I can't even cry because I know there is no point in it. I want to, but not a single tear is willing to drop. I don't know since when I got so practical about emotions! Maybe I should be thankful that I got to talk to Avan and Sumi today. But like I was telling Avan, I need someone to pamper me. I want attention. Special attention. And I know I will get none of it here. It isn't just management training that I have come here for. Literal 'alone' is happening. I need a break. Yes, already!
My ray of hope is the 15th August break. It is at the risk of a warning letter for not being on campus on a mandatory attendance day, but I'd rather take that happily than not be home at that time. Nidhi called too. Got some family updates from her. And how I wish tomorrow wasn't a Sunday! I will be moving from campus to city for a seminar in the 7:00 a.m. bus, and my family will call me at lunch only to remind me that they are all together at home. I am glad Ma doesn't tell me what she's made for lunch/dinner when I ask her. It is nice to not know. Selfish reassurances!
Finding it hard to break this chain of thoughts...
PS - My complexion has changed beyond belief. It's almost I have moved to the south. It's the hills' sun - piercing and sharp. The tan is just too much! :-/