Happy-Happy Day!

Green nosepin, green salwar, bits of green in the kurta, Green Day in my ears, and an absolutely, freakishly hot new green bag made for a great day today!

Now don't think that I looked like a tree. The nosepin, of course, is there every day. It's a deep green. The clothes were a nice, light and bright shade of green. AND THE BAG.... super sexy dark green with a dash of brown.

What also contributed was the fact that it's only been a week since I started gyming and I have already lost weight. Woohhhoooooo!!!!!

Yesterday I bought a pair of earrings too, so I wore those today as well.

Basically, I don't mind spending on clothes and earrings at all. You make me spend on food, shoes, etc....and it'll pinch me. Even the bag is fuck expensive and I am feeling kinda guilty about it. But that's like a one-off expense so I'm letting it go. But it is almost like a disclaimer for people that they should NOT take me shopping for earrings. I can make anyone go bankrupt.

I have also realised that I enjoy high-pressure, tight, pressing deadlines' rush. I like the speed with which I work then. I love my concentration level at that time. It's awesome! Different story that a similar situation recently landed me up in a hospital too, but I still enjoy it. As some people put it, I am self-destructive. Maybe I am. :)

Gotta rush for another deadline now. Bbye people!! :D :D

"Band Bajega"

Some responses to this one please.

You discuss with friends about turning 21 soon. How it suddenly is bringing a strange feeling with it. How it is a little scary. How when we were young, 21-year-old didis and bhaiyas looked SO old. And bam! One Saturday morning, you’re brushing your teeth, and Ma sitting close by has this naughty smirk on her face. You’re curious, and she blurts out ‘tere liye rishta aaya hai’. Ahem. Stoned. Not being in a position to talk (pun intended), your eyes question – “WTF & really W(ho)TF?” Random rishtedars whom I have met only once heard that I have started working, had always heard that I am a ‘good girl’, so they found a 24-year-old MBA guy living in Noida and immediately called my parents. Perfect! Meri taraf se MBA to usne hi kar li. Why am I spending days and nights worrying about a future? For future-setting God has made relatives.
We laughed it off, and I am very amused by the fact that people don’t have a life. How in the world they come up with all this is completely beyond me.

Amit Paul

Today's the third Friday night in a row that I have cried out in absolute praise for someone. I have pretty much followed Indian Idol since the first season, and have seen some good singers in it too, but this one guy in the 3rd season is just AWESOME! I was completely shattered when he got voted out during one of the preliminary rounds, and nobody I know was as ecstatic as me when he came back as a 'wild card entry'. The guy's voice is soo soothing that it's almost magic when he sings. I don't think I have ever voted for anything on a reality show on TV before, and for him I have sent two SMSs every Friday night. I absolutely LOVE his singing and I really hope he does not get voted out. Really really hope to see much more of him!!!

Blank Noise

I read the latest post on the Blank Noise Project’s blog from work yesterday and forwarded it to some women in the office. They had either not heard about the Project or hardly knew anything about it. That is where a discussion about eve-teasing started. I clearly remember (and might possibly never forget) an incident that happened with me last year. I could not sleep that night, got chills every time I thought about it during the following week, felt sick about the fact that I did not do anything and rather ran away that time, although I still think that was the only option I had that time, and it is something that makes me extremely angry about the current situation in Delhi and the rest of the country. That was the day since when I have kept a spray in my bag every single day. I was kinda happy about the fact that I never had to use it. There were a few moments when I felt that I might need it, but I did not. I was not eve-teased. But!
That day was exactly a year ago. And even though I have the right, I don’t think I do. Because I decided to walk home from where I got dropped, a man thought that he could stop his car and expect me to be his guest. Now, I completely fail to understand these men’s psyche. What is it? Are they permanently horny? Are they permanently on the look-out? What is it really?

I agree to the last E when it is said that Delhi’s roads are unsafe for women. You cannot walk on a sidewalk if there is no bus-stop, traffic signal or marketplace around. You MUST be a prostitute because every man on a car/bike wants to confirm it. Or you must be an object that every man on his feet thinks he can say to or gesture towards.
There are certainly very few things that make me as angry as this does. I don’t know whom to question, whom to yell at, and just where to find a solution!!!

HOPE Is The Word

There is another new beginning...
There is a restart of something old – in a new way...
And there will soon be another new too...

Days will be busier than ever. I hope I can handle it all.

Being Myself

I had a strange (nice) feeling when I stepped out of home for work this morning. The nice bit of it was mostly because it was a Friday morning. There was a weird dawning observation kind of a thing that was happening in my head too, and I just feel like writing about it:
I have literally lived the last 3 years in oversized t-shirts. Not that I didn’t know that they were loose then, but now that I wear properly fitting shirts, trousers, etc four days a week, the comfort and delight that one of those tees gives on a Friday is unbeatable. Same goes for jeans!
I was wearing small beads that Mithu gave me long back.
I was wearing my favourite(st) watch which was originally owned by Bhaiya.
I was wearing the sunglasses that I recently bought with my own money.
I was wearing the scientifically right, comfortable footwear which were bought right after my stress fracture.
I was carrying the bag that I used to carry to college.

Basically, if someone knows me, and knew about all this stuff, would agree that everything was defining me very well. My people, my style, my weaknesses, my mind.
It all felt kinda good.

+++

It was the last day of one of my favourite people at work today. I think I will miss her.

+++

There was still daylight when I reached back home today, so I thought I’ll go out with Mithu. After killing time, eating not-nice food, and realizing that it was 8:45 p.m. already, I got an idea! We ran and did some speed shopping. Went into Benetton (the place that NEVER has clothes my size and the place that I stopped going to loooong back) and made her try a few clothes on, which all had a terrible fit! Then we ran faster to a place that I LOVE – Wills! The first thing she tried looked sooo cute on her that we instantly decided to buy it. The price tag meant that my wallet would be empty after it but thankfully I have a personal active bank account now. We were both very proud of our purchase, and it was the first of my presents that are bound to go some friends’ way (first job and salary and stuff, you know! :D) From there we ran to the close-by ATM and withdrew some money. It was my second time with my own card and it still takes a little bit of extra concentration to follow instructions on the machines. Needless to say, it is fun. But then the realization of my expenditures also starts striking there. Another thing that I have realized is that I am a spoilt child. No wonder Pa keeps throwing a fit every time he sees phone bills and my clothes’ bills. I spend too much!! But it’s ok, I have made it very clear at home that I don’t want to account for my first few salaries. There just are several things that I want to spend on.
:P

+++

I am wondering when I became such a moody person. I clearly remember better days. And I can’t find the starting point of comments about my moods from friends. It gets quite taxing at times...

+++

Oh I didn't annouce here. I am finally a full fledged graduate. :D :D

Hold On

Someone’s past, someone else’s present. People are different but they are almost the same. Those tears mean the same, that hurt is the same; it’s the same old shit.
Things still hurt, people still exist; misunderstandings have no solutions it seems.

I know I am fine as soon as I start talking, but it all comes out when I start talking.
I still remember that last hug,
I still remember that last smile,
Just never knew they were the last.

I still live by that music,
I still live by those songs that are only in my head now,
Just never knew that they were the only ones.

I still care about you,
I still wanna know where you are,
Just don’t know whether you appreciate it anymore or not.

I still somewhere hope for things to get better,
I still someday want to meet you,
Just don’t know if it is all too unreal.

Today I don’t even know if you’ll understand that I am writing about you or not, but I would like you to know that I still think that you’re one of the nicest people I ever met.
I know where I want to see you one day, so don’t you ever give up on those dreams. Maybe you won’t see me then, but I’ll keep an eye.

I still care about your existence, you bugger!
Miss you...

...You tried to fill some emptiness

till all you had spilled over,

Now everything’s so far away

that you don’t know where you are.

When all that you wanted

and all that you had

don't seem so much

for you to hold on to

for you to belong to...

- Jet

1-2-7

EU asked me to list down 7 facts about myself. Erm...now I know that you probably have read all such loooong lists that I have made earlier, but please bear with me. You know how self-obsessed I am, don’t you?
This was point number 1.

I want to put dogs, flowers, green and blogging as loves in one point.

3. I feel embarrassed every time someone asks me if I am left-handed because I am ambidextrous and the word sounds excessively fancy to be used in normal conversation.

4. A lot of times when I am walking alone on some street, I am hoping to run into someone or the other I used to know in the past.

5. I dislike an abnormally high percentage of the people that I know.

6. I am not romantic.

7. I am not as clean as everyone thinks I am.

This list was the hardest to make for some reason. Hmm...

As usual, I tag whoever wants to be tagged.

Rockers!

And I talk again! Again an attempt to capture some nice moments in my little store of words.

After having stuck to the bed for over 5 days, I went to work still half-dead today. Thankfully, it was a conference-to-attend-and-no-work-to-do day. I was moving around lifelessly till 5 in the evening, which is when I got a call from Neha. Good news. Two friends cleared the D School entrance exam! Two close friends. Two very very kickass, intelligent, brainy friends. One support-system friend.

Start jumping. No, stop, you're still around normal people.

Start yelling on the phone. No, stop, control, control the volume, womannnn eassyyyy!!!!!

So I hang up. And grin. And grin non-stop. Compel people to ask me what the reason for the joyous mood is. And I announce! Everybody understands the gravity of the situation because 90% of the people have an Economics background.

And so I start calling to congratulate! I am yelling again but I don't give a fuck anymore. Everybody knows by now that the woman will have no manners, she will walk around in the corridor instead of finding a corner, and yell into other people's ears that 'I told you you'll clear it!'. It's all cool!

And then I am desperate for a hug. Shit desperate! Who would have thought that I was the same person who was cribbing about weird smells in the hotel 5 minutes ago! AAANNDD I found Priya for the incredible gesture. She's one of the cuter people that WWW has recruited along with me. Although I have absolutely no special liking for that adjective, so it's ok. Anyway, coming back!

Then I made the second call. That is when I mentioned that I want to have a BIG party and just splurge all the money that I have. I REEEAAALLLLYYY wanted to spend it all! But look at my luck, neither of the two buggers were in Delhi! Hmph! Sad, I tell you!

But yeah man, I am very very happy. Incredibly happy. So unbelievably kicked about the whole thing! I know such starlets! Academic superbrains Ami and T are! They're superbrains otherwise too, but you can't beat them at academia. At least not in Economics. Wanna bet? :P

And incidentally, this is my 100th post on this blog. :D

@#$%^&!

I thought politicians love being politically correct! But the BMC commissioner doesn't even believe in doing that (apart from still struggling with flooding problems in Mumbai every year!). If the solution to a problem is killing, then why can't we just kill all these assholes that sit in the parliament and other such places. Why the fuck do we have to see their faces on TV every day. Solution to a nuisance is killing ALL the LAKHS of stray dogs in the city?! These men are such an illiterate pain in the ass that I feel like going and single-handedly killing all of them!

They want to compare themselves to Singapore and Shanghai! Why don't they take care of the water flooding first? Why don't they improve the condition of their locals first? Why don't they be NORMAL first??? Wow, and he had the balls to say that maybe people even eat dogs in Shanghai! Yeah man, way to go! We love your sense of humour! We love your sense of strategising! You are our God!

Wonderland

I have completed one month in the new world and I am still exploring. Everything is fancy, and I can enjoy it subject to the condition of hard work and high level of discipline. Erm...doesn’t sound too bad. Let us just make it a little bad: ...subject to the orders of a firang management! Ah, that had the effect! :P

So, let me just list down some of the things that are amusing/ fun/ fancy...

# An official email id with my personal signature

# A dress code to follow

# An hour-to-hour tracking of work done

# An unbelievably young environment

# Receiving “private and confidential” mail in my name at home

# Having a cheque book with my name printed on it

# A debit card with my name too

# Receiving tips on being politically correct

# A reason to properly learn how to drive

# Getting a ride to office so far

# A funky keyfob to access work files from home

# Talking to random Brits over the phone

# Super clean office and washrooms

# Still having several things out of my budget

# A near perfect routine for the day (or at least better than what I had till a month ago)

# A forever-attempting-to-control-the-laughter-volume set of buddies

# An ultra-hot, taken colleague

And more...

I am also still in a kind of a daze. Still trying to figure things; still trying to sort my life. And looks like it is slowly happening. Friends almost thought that I needed a shrink – now I am doing much better than that for sure. I am leaving out of control things to time, and using my time to meet hard deadlines. :)

Wish me luck!