I don’t know if I want to run away from things or am finally looking towards doing something sensible but I am looking forward to being busy with a lot of expectation. I don’t remember counting days like this since my 12th standard exams. But the way the last 6 months got spent just surprise me by coming back at me as – “Six Months!”
And an even longer period of non-stop thinking and bad moods. I don’t know why I do it to myself but I seem to have no control. Certain things just got stuck back in my closet and I’m not being able to throw them out. I’m hoping that all the growing up will eventually teach me how to take better care of myself too.
So many people, so many names, so many faces....I won’t say I want to forget them because I don’t, but I want to get away from them all! They haven’t given me as much pain as I’ve myself derived from them and I think I’m done with doing that. The only problem is that I realized this long back, I was just unable to find a mechanism to handle it. There is so much that has stacked up inside me that now I’m even unsure how many more sessions of ‘venting out’ it will take to get things back to normal.
There has not been a day when I have not thought about things – good, bad or ugly. Today I almost feel that I’m living only in my past. And here my present is looking at me with its own set of expectations. From now on, I intend to give my present what it needs and what it wants. I know it is going to be hard - it has been so far - but I guess I need to go that extra mile for myself this time. I need my own attention.
And an even longer period of non-stop thinking and bad moods. I don’t know why I do it to myself but I seem to have no control. Certain things just got stuck back in my closet and I’m not being able to throw them out. I’m hoping that all the growing up will eventually teach me how to take better care of myself too.
So many people, so many names, so many faces....I won’t say I want to forget them because I don’t, but I want to get away from them all! They haven’t given me as much pain as I’ve myself derived from them and I think I’m done with doing that. The only problem is that I realized this long back, I was just unable to find a mechanism to handle it. There is so much that has stacked up inside me that now I’m even unsure how many more sessions of ‘venting out’ it will take to get things back to normal.
There has not been a day when I have not thought about things – good, bad or ugly. Today I almost feel that I’m living only in my past. And here my present is looking at me with its own set of expectations. From now on, I intend to give my present what it needs and what it wants. I know it is going to be hard - it has been so far - but I guess I need to go that extra mile for myself this time. I need my own attention.
5 comments:
Strange as it may seem, till last night I too wanted to run away from certain people...or more importantly wished them away. I never wished to forget them but yes...wished I would get busy with my life and have no time left whatsoever to even think about them.
And then I realized that it ain't happening if I try too hard. Things have there own time span and eventually everything would turn out for the best. I kept thinking about this song from Cher...Do you Believe...
All the best girl...just don't try too hard...Jo Hota hain...Achche ke liye hota hain...:)
Just breathe let go.If you think this is the worst you are going through you will be surprised at what is really in store for you.
What helps me is to let go.Let go of the pain and emotions.To breathe and tell myself tomorrow is another day.
Wo! Heavy man!
Just cool it a bit.
It helps to breathe! :)
gud luck & stick to it :)
Kanu
Yeah, trying too hard never works. And that's why I never pushed myself away from anything. For me personally, I think it's time I move on. That's all.
Thanks for the nice words. And good luck to you too.:)
EU
I don't think of anything as the worst ever. Nothing's really worth that much. But yes, trying to breathe, trying to let go. :)
Thanks.
Ishani
:-)
DK
Thanks. Gonna do it. :-)
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