Thursday, March 11, 2010

Evolving Amongst Contradictions

I have stopped rushing in the mornings. It's a nice feeling.

I was a misfit in a world of the smartest kids, and I am a misfit in this pool of morons too. Searching for a place where I might belong.

Being on a 'different' tangent made me feel like I am lot more of an individual worker than a team player. But the truth is just the opposite. I think a good team can add to your confidence, your thought process, level of interest, and a lot of other things that you might individually never be able to attain.

I am sure now that I cannot stay in one place for long. Short stints keep me happy. However much I may resist change, I know it always does me good.

I now also know why I have been feeling disconnected from everybody here for a while. It is because I do not get to see any other faces. At all! Residential is all right, but residential outside of planet earth makes you hate human beings. So, I may love you like crazy, and feel attached like I cannot live without you, but just the fact that I cannot give myself a break from you drives us all insane!

As of today, nothing gives me a high like travelling does. It's the best form of addiction I have picked from this life I have lived here, and I am hoping that irrespective of where I go from here, I manage to carry on with it.

I have written umpteen times
on this blog about how cleaning everything around me makes me happy. But I think it has gone a step further by giving so much peace that it is almost heavenly. Taking out the trash is like hand-picking all the negative elements - men, sloth, jealousy, etc - out of your life. It's bliss.

When Vera Farmigia called George Clooney a parenthesis in her life, in the movie Up in the Air, it got me thinking. It got me thinking how my painfully inappropriate use of parenthesis in language, and its translation in personal life, both are equally obscene. And while I am completely aware of it, I feel almost helpless because I never know how to fix this problem. I end up making the same mistake over and over again, and parenthesis become a reality.


Why so serious? I do still drool over Clooney and that killer eyebrow of his! :D

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