Being Stupid Contd.

I can behave in a socially agreeable manner only in a controlled environment. I do not know why this conveniently skips my mind. Doesn't do me any good. Ever. Ever! 

Bokeh

I began the year on a nervous note. I was not sure about how I would handle it...

It was the first year where I worked from January to December with exactly two weeks' break in the middle. So, it did fly by. But I think I managed to squeeze in enough to at least manage this post. Like I insist, lessons don't mean much unless I learn them myself. I finally figured that a minute, a moment, a day, are all enough if you really want to do something, get anywhere. It is the will that matters most. And with that thought, here's my snapshot of 2011!

# Entered an ocean full of opportunities led by the gods themselves!

# Had to get my nose re-pierced

# Four key travel outings in northern, western, southern, and central India. Beginning 2012 with the south-east. :D

# Did one semi-nude photoshoot which, I think, had turned out to be pretty good!

# Had a massive crush on an extremely nice guy

# My involvement with the big screen became extremely romantic

# Struggled with the health through one more year

# Watched Zakir Hussain live

# Spent money to watch a play for the first time

# Tried out some new restaurants and cafes in the city

# That story had another chapter unfolding this year

# Bought gold

# Said definite goodbye to Maggi and eggs, they are my allergies of the year

# Turned 25 and got my first surprise party

# Found the force in the sun

# Rode a tonga

# 10 years ago, I would not have worn an orange skirt even if you offered me money. And now, it is a dear possession

# It was the year of spotting cute men in the metro

# Taj Mahal dekha!

# OD'd on chocolate

# Drove on the streets cheering along with strangers when India won the cricket world cup

# Bought a LOT of white clothes

# Do not detest black any more. :)

# Picked a fight with Manu Joseph :P

# Visited banks of the Yamuna

# Sat on a negotiation table for Rs. 88 lakhs and contributed to the winning side 

# Dreamt about going to Ladakh. Hopefully next year.

# Gave presents to some people when they were not expecting it. Felt nice.

# One more failed attempt at the gym

# Had my first serious scary moment when that man disappeared at the cemetery in Wayanad

# Got some of my photographs printed and framed for home

# Hated rains even more

# Said a very difficult 'no'

# Made a highly entertaining trip tot the Toilet Museum

# Wrapped my camera up

# Started using a BlackBerry

# Experienced Bombay at leisure for the first time

# Obsessively listened to some sufi songs

# Made my annual trip to the emergency room of a hospital

# Also had a blackout followed by a scary ECG

# Did not purchase a single bag this year. Maybe I should buy one as a new year present.

# Changed the blog's look after really long, and quite like what I have now!

# I did not delete some text messages from the phone. They have got to feature here! A consolidated version would look something like this:

"Airtel welcomes you to...

Haryana

Rajasthan

Gujarat

Maharashtra & Goa

Himachal Pradesh

Punjab

Madhya Pradesh

Uttar Pradesh

Kerala

Tamil Nadu

Karnataka"

I know I didn't go to all these states, but I did go through them all to fewer destinations! :D 

# Cleartrip called me a 'frequent traveller' (ahem)

# I finally discovered the beautiful world of net banking

# TV gave us The Dewarists 

# Got listed on an India Influencer Index on Twitter :P

...but I do think we managed to handle each other fairly well. 2012, are you going to last?

Merry Christmas!

I have not taken any medicines in the last two weeks or so. It gives a feeling that is hard to describe because I do not remember the last time I went so long without at least one pill a day. I would have been happier if my body really did not need any medicines during this period, but right now I am okay playing this little game of denial too. It feels SO good! 

It has been a perfect weekend so far. Friday night was with our man from Goa, Ranjan R. Atreya. I cannot believe that I have known him for over three years and did not know of his middle name until now. It's shameful! But TGIF gave us some very cheesy food and fairly potent mojitos. And Priyam added to the laughter dose of the evening. The weather was cold enough. I had no complaints. 

Yesterday I happened to meet Chetak after four years. Time changes, times change. 

Check out some spectacular Christmas images from across the world at http://t.co/eWk8Wa2j. They're beautiful!!

2011 and Me

Colour of the year - Orange
Song of the year - Bawra mann...
TV series of the year - The Dewarists
Fruit of the year - Apple
Most dearly missed entity of the year - Eggs
Best buy of the year - the silver hoops
Best trip of the year - Wayanad
Surprise of the year - the book on driving in the mountains given by NB
Actor of the year - Gulshan Devaiah
The year's best brands - Mango & Hugo Boss
Knowledge god of the year - TSV
Innovations of the year - Google Doodles
Metro buddy of the year - Lynn
The year's most awesome sunset - Orchha
The year's most interesting insights - Food sector regulations
.
.
.
and I just lost my trail of thought...

The Month So Far...

I completed six months in my current job. There is some degree of inertia at present, but I am hoping that would pass soon. 

Attended Avan's brother's engagement ceremony. Barring the fact that I was inappropriately dressed for the occasion, everything was perfect. The two looked perfect together. It was such a nice feeling being in that positive space that evening! Happy for them. 

Began with yet another attempt towards fitness. Endomondo is giving me company. So far so good - the face has begun to show some results. But a long, long way to go.

Also applied for my first non-sick leave in this office. And booked my tickets to Port Blair. Yes, January 2012, I am already looking forward to seeing you. And the beaches, of course. 

Played Secret Santa in office and made some effort to be nice to my kin. I hear she was happy with her presents. 

Oh, oh... I handled the Nikon D3X with a 50 mm lens! I instantly fell in love with its body, the picture clarity, and the very look of every image. Of course, I do still love Canon, but what the hell, the camera is bloody brilliant and there is no reason why one should not acknowledge that. Milan Kishorpuria, thank you!

I rediscovered my love for Simpoo Sir! I love him. I love his presence on Twitter. And I am very keen on finding out and meeting the person who manages this handle. Simpoo Sir ki jai!

After thinking that it was time to move on, I got my nose pierced again. 

Last night, I attended the office's year-end party and it turned out to be more fun than I expected it to be. In fact, I didn't think I was going to attend one of these I-know-most-people parties any more. But I did, and I danced so much that my legs are still hurting from all the jumping. I also stepped out in that 5 degrees of cold. Bwaaaah!

Met Nidhi, Iyengar, and Abhimanyu after several months today. Laughter session, yes!

Tomorrow, Tughlaqabad Fort!

Evergreen

It has been playing in a loop for several weeks now and I cannot get enough of it. 

Sound of Laughter

It's good to be single. It's good to have a few, close friends. It's good to have space. The 'good times' are important too, if they are an option. So I took up the option and decided to put that restlessness of all the previous posts and weeks to rest. It meant spending money which I did not need to. It meant going to a city that I wasn't particularly fond of. It certainly did not translate into a vacation because my definition of that word was bound by the place that I visit. But then I did do all of it because I wanted time with some of my most favourite people. 

God bless Gmail for all the emails that it lets me write to these lovely people. I crib, I laugh, I babble, and I am myself. Why go all the way to Mumbai then, you might ask. Because emails cannot substitute tight hugs and the sound of laughter. 

There was Ridhima, there was Swetha, there was Ruhi, and Robin and Avan. Baij too! Well, Swetha is in Delhi too, but this was about all of us being together. Ruhi is in Chennai these days, and she came as well. 

Swetha and I were to travel together. I had heard bad things about GoAir, but my 8:15 pm flight was above ground at 8:15 pm. We landed on time too. The flight was great. We talked non-stop, a first for me because I compulsively sleep on flights. Ridhima and Bhavya came to pick us. Baij was on the same flight as us, so Avan had come to pick him. She welcomed me too. With the sweetest welcome note! 

We grabbed a quick bite, and went to a place called Escobar. It greeted us with good music, and we spotted Madhur Bhandarkar, Rohit Roy and Randeep Hooda. Well, that was just for the record. :P

We talked, the music got better, the place grew on me, and I had a wonderful time! Swetha did the dance too. 

From Escobar we went to Bandstand. I had heard a lot about it and one really can't expect anything ordinary from the sea. It was a no moon night, the tide was high, and the breeze was perfect. My mind split into two for those few moments of sitting there. Well, the sea deserved the attention. :)

The night as well as the following morning at Ridhima's was like going back in time. It was comfortable and pleasant. 

Then Swetha left for her next destination, and Robin took a little break only to meet Ridhima and me for lunch a while later. And guess who else was there for lunch - Ruuhii, my love!!! We went to Chez Moi in Bandra. I liked it. The food was okay-ish, and I paid little attention to it. Ridhima had to leave a little early, but Robin, Ruhi and their pitcher of sangria were enough to make the afternoon perfect. I wanted time to freeze.

Ruhi & Robin with their sangria

Ridhima in her new look

Quintessential expressions

Robin became the butt of this joke

Uff! There was a photographer at work!

Angry Birds at Candies. We had something better for dessert.

Then it was Avan time! Evening was at her place. Robin was nice enough to drop me there. And before we knew it, it was time for dinner, and Robin and Ruhi were back at Avan's. We had not reached a conclusion for our dinner/drinks destination, and we were not even ready. But we managed to figure it all while Avan's friends joined us. 

Dinner: we went to Copper Chimney which was only a short walk away from her house in Khar. I laughed a lot. I was conscious about the fact that it is a very rare thing now, and I wanted time to freeze a second time that day. I did not want to move. I did not want anyone to leave. Not even the people I was not talking to. It was my picture perfect moment. Only it was so much more than that.
It was already midnight by the time we wrapped dinner. Par raat abhi jawan thi. We went to Shiros from there. The place was bloody crowded. Just the kind I easily detest. But we went straight to the bar, ordered our drinks, had one after the other, and literally danced into the night. I was fine. Make that happy after a point. I demanded that the DJ announced and wished me a happy birthday just like all the other birthdays were being announced. Ruhi got him to. I demanded that one of the bartenders came and danced with me. Baij got his manager to agree. The guy was shy and cute. Haha... I embarrassed him! 

With my lovelies!

I think we left from there around 3:30 am. Avan was keen on going to Marine Drive, so she, Baij and I went. But I don't think we stayed there because the cops were already sending people off. Apparently I talked endlessly. I was enjoying it. Feeling free with the one person whom I can trust with my eyes closed. Literally.
I also managed to avoid doing anything stupid with my phone.

Next morning was very late. Well, technically, not for me because I woke up 8:30 am and barely got any sleep after that. Yet, the breakfast date with Ruhi and Robin was cancelled. Because clearly I was not the only one who had a late night. I only managed to go to Carter Road for lunch with Avan and Baij. The place smelled bad, but it was beautiful. Reinstated my pending need for a beach vacation. The food was ordinary, but our conversation was not.
They then took me aboard a local train (my first!) to Bombay Central to ensure that I don't miss my Rajdhani to Delhi. Trains are always fun!! The local was good too because it was a Sunday afternoon and not crazy rush hour.

Bombay local

Bombay is as rough as Delhi can be. Bombay is as warm as Delhi can be. It's your people who make a difference. Nothing else does. Except that Bombay had me sweating while Delhi welcomed me back with a cold breeze.

I feel refreshed. My heart rate is back to normal. Oh, how I love them all! I am almost in a mind to give Bombay a piece of my heart. At least an html one.


Avan, it was certainly not hell. You know why. 

2011: Hello, Woollen Socks!

There has been activity galore in the last ten days. While the Goa plan could not materialise yet another time, I did check two other trips that were pending. 

Mother had been wanting to go to Chintpurni, HP since last summer. We finally managed to go there during the 19-20 November weekend. The highlight was the fact that Dad agreed to come along. I don't remember the last time the entire family took a trip together. So, Mom, Dad, Bhai, the bhabhi, and me started by taking a long walk towards the Amritsar Shatabdi on 19th morning. As always, I was excited to get on to a train. But after having travelled by the Bhopal Shatabdi earlier this year, I was disappointed to see the uncomfortable seats and  the badly maintained coaches. Maybe it was just an old coach of an old train, but I liked the Bhopal Shatabdi more. Nevertheless, the view of foggy mustard fields into Punjab made up for it all. 

We took the train till Ludhiana, and then took a cab up to the hills. Highlights:

• Lunch at Baabe da Vaishno Dhaba by the state highway in Hoshiarpur was to die for! 
• I saw the process of making jaggery at a small setup in the fields near the dhaba, and the smell & taste of the freshly made sugar was absolutely delicious.
• Our driver, Amandeep was hard of hearing and did not use his rear view mirror for driving. I think the gods did know that we were making the trip only for them. 
• Evening is a good time to visit Chintpurni. At least you can breathe. Things were bad when I visited in the morning in 2006.
• The HP Tourism hotel at Jwala Ji is decent to live in, but wouldn't recommend eating there. Their kitchen sucks. 
• The evening aarti at Jwala Ji, on cold nights, is heart warming.
• Matar kulcha on the road outside Jwala Ji is also worth a try.

A goof-up on Sunday night led to a long, unwanted drive from Ludhiana to Delhi, but I did enjoy the little chill in the air and oh-so-amazing paranthas at Sukhdev's in Murthal!

Some mobile uploads:

Processing sugarcane juice

Drying jaggery

Sadda Punjab :P

Mother and Sis-in-Law

A flat tyre in the middle of nowhere

I had to rush to work as soon as we got home. And I worked, fell ill, and attended several meetings until Friday evening arrived and I rushed to pack again for the next trip.

Passive

Boredom and the absence of any activity has left me rather irritated. The flurry of social lunches and dinners have only burnt a hole in my pocket and made my clothes tighter. Neither of the results induce any kind of positive feeling. I went for a play last Sunday which turned out to be pointless; I was looking forward to Rockstar, which also turned out to be useless. My constantly decreasing motivation for photography has made me close that chapter as well. And I have spent almost a whole quarter like this....

__________

Rockstar has good music. It has the Delhi winter and a few shots of my college. Ranbir Kapoor has done a rather good job.  He has acted well, he is looking good, and has given the movie the little strength that it has. But the actress, the dialogues, and the narrative were so ordinary that they managed to kill the movie for me. Completely! And I am yet to see a Hindi musical which doesn't try too hard to connect the dots. 

Sadda Haq should not even have featured in the movie. It brought down the intensity of the song simply because it was placed out of context. 

Few Hindi movies play with guilt, and I really wish that Imtiaz Ali had picked someone who did not just have a pretty face. Nargis Fakhri... aargh!!

I had similarly looked forward to Mausam in September. I did manage to appreciate it far more than Rockstar, but it certainly left me yearning for more. In fact, the romance in the movie completely engrossed me. The cinematography was brilliant, Shahid Kapur looked good, and even Sonam Kapoor was tolerable. But I cannot ignore the fact that the movie was quite stupid in parts. And utterly idiotic towards the end. But I think I can watch it again merely because of the innocent romance. It was nice. 

__________

On a different note, my mind has been thinking of a mute poem the last few days. When life and everything around you seems poetically strung but it silences you in a strange way that you cannot tell if it is good or bad, positive or negative; just something unsettling, something worth your emotions.

__________

If dinners at Taj and meetings with some people seem as worthless as they do, I wonder if power is an aspiration worth nurturing and taking stress for. 

........now hoping to make the last few weeks of the year useful. 

It's a Wrap!

Clicking photographs made me happy. 

Mind Colours

Kya Kahein!

I have been bored and restless the past few days. And now when I am thinking about it, I realise that I have not seen a movie in a month, not shopped in close to two months, and not travelled in more than three months. Obviously I am bored and restless! 

I don't have the time to explore and develop a liking for new things. I don't remember the last time I instantly started liking a new thing. None of the things that used to excite me seem to be doing so anymore. Really, none of them! I am oh-so-bored and restless!

So, while I restart my efforts to get a few people together to head out to a new place again, let me simultaneously write about the little, much overdue trip to the Toilet Museum in Delhi. 

Last weekend, I was going through old posts here on Fuchsia when I remembered that the Museum is still on my to-do list. A switch to Facebook on the next tab had Arobindo Sinha updating his location back to Delhi. He is known for toilet humour, and I had been advised to take him along whenever I make this trip. A few comments later, we had a plan.

On Saturday afternoon, he and I met after about three odd years, and moved straight to the Museum. When I entered the place, the first thought was that the place is far smaller than I had imagined. It was funny to think that I contemplated on which shoes to wear. It should suffice to say that you can go there in stilettos too.

We started looking about, read some funny facts, shared a little laugh when one gentleman walked in and introduced himself to the only other two people in the Museum, an American couple. He was going to give them a guided tour. He asked us if we were interested in the tour. We agreed. We could not have imagined what the next 30 minutes had in store for us. I wish I could have recorded the tour. The 72-year-old Mr. Jha is seriously one of the most amusing people I have ever met! His gestures, his accent, the creepy flirtatiousness, and just the bloody way of being cracked us up. I mean, giving a tour of a toilet museum should be funny enough. Why do you have to do the action of 'doing business'! Anyway.

So he took us through the complete evolution - from the Indus Valley civilisation to the first WC to the old practices of western Europe to all the latest technological innovations - we covered everything. And the punctuating jokes made the tour perfect.

In appreciation of toilet humour and an embarrassing irony, I will tell you that I went to use the loo and realised a little too late that there was no water. The absence of toilet paper had anyway been noticed and ignored upon entering itself. So. It was a memorable trip in more ways than one.

Below are some pictures that I have borrowed from Google. The copyright is with their respective original owners.

The Museum!

THIS is Mr. Jha. That table is also a toilet from some godforsaken time in history.

Apparently, the differences between England and France led to the making of toilets of this kind. The French  made these book-shaped toilets and put names of popular English books on them. This one has Macbeth on it. 

 The image in blue highlights a little trick you can use when you cannot access a toilet. Maybe I should have used it too. It is about applying pressure on the hand in anticlockwise direction in the given shape to reduce the pressure and thus the urge to immediately relieve yourself.

I laughed uncontrollably! You HAVE to go through the text here. 

I think this one was from Austria. 

A solar powered toilet. You don't need water for this one.

A king used to address his audience while sitting on this toilet. Obviously he had a troubled stomach. I will buy this the day my kingdom is in place. 

And here is an invention for women to make use of in places with no toilets.

Loop

Being deeply involved in anything leads to desire, desire leads to expectations, and expectations lead to disappointments. 

And to go through a whole day, through different experiences, but the same feeling of disappointment repeatedly is more taxing than the mind can imagine.

Neela Aasman So Gaya

....aur ab main bhi sone ja rahi hoon.

माया

यह ख़ामोशी नहीं, सन्नाटा है. 

अफसाना नहीं, भ्रम है. 

Aiyo!

The fact that I have been earning for a year, as also the current state of my bank balance, forced me into opening an Excel sheet on a Sunday to do some analysis. Actually it was just a dreadful exercise of writing out all the expenses that I have made in this one year. It's not a pretty picture from the savings and investments point of view. Rather, a very sad picture. I don't know how it happened. I didn't do it. I think, even with my limited funds, I do need a fund manager. Who can forcefully take money out of my account. Oh my god, I want to cry! While all my expenses do still seem reasonable, I cannot come to terms with the total. This is why conclusions are not nice. Not nice, not nice, not nice!!! What do I doooo?

PS - I didn't know I spend so much on presents for other people. And so many people! I thought I didn't have friends. Pff!

Being Stupid

Chasing the wrong dream.
Trying to be a hero.
Making the wrong decision.
And being stupid.

Work

Engagement. Sustained. Stakeholders. Objective. Public. Critical. Business. Recommend. Growth. Direction. Strategic. Industry. Solutions.

Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client. Client.

Community

I have a special dislike for noise. Of all kinds. Well, I have a special dislike for a variety of smells too (just this morning I realized that I cringe my nose several times a day), but we are talking about noise here. Presence of a number of women in a closed space (which never has ‘normal’ temperature) is a deadly phenomenon. I would have liked to unabashedly stereotype a certain team here and pull their hair out for the kind of noise they make. But there are two teams which drive me bloody crazy. I understand Friday afternoon is a happy time. I really do appreciate it. And I also know that not everyone chooses to be asocial, but what the hell! How do people who are trying to work (or pretending to work) become invisible to these women! Amongst these are also those whose mornings are startlingly cheerful. Mornings. All mornings. Every single morning from Monday to Friday. Did I mention the my-words-can-ring-through-your-ears-to-your-brain-and-kill-the-cells-that-detect-sound kind of voices! And I wonder how these same women become bitches when their work isn’t getting done because of external factors. They make noise when they are happy. They make even more noise when they are cribbing. They are annoying with a big fat capital A.

The giggly kind of loud for another day. Those are pure bitches of a far more evil kind. 

Of course I do not belong to any of these communities. 

Elusive

It was an odd day. I woke up with the same thoughts that I had gone to sleep with last night. I kept thinking about it. And then I lost the battle. It was not a nice feeling. I know losing universally makes people feel bad. And I have lost similar battles earlier as well. But I had got used to the control over the past few months. It's easy to get used to good things.

This afternoon saw heavy rain and thunderstorm. My anxiety rose. I think I almost cried. But there was a meeting to attend. Wait, while we're at it, and since this is my territory, I need someone to stop these rains. Or I will scream!

I got busy and distracted until I received that email. I was not expecting it. I was not ready for any of this. I know it isn't even a big deal and my mind is overplaying it. But I cannot handle this kind of uneasiness anymore. Maybe I have myself to blame. Already. Or maybe I could blame the circumstances. I do want to put the blame somewhere and erase it all off my mind. It is not worth any more discussions. It is not to be. 

I want my peace back. I was not up for trading that. 

Memories, old fragrances, and hot tears.

Dost Log

Robin is in town, and I went with him, Swetha, and Vrinda to Cafe Morrison last night. Through my clogged nose and blocked ears, I screech-ily enjoyed the place and the company. I wondered why I had not visited the place before. I wondered why we do not spend more time together. Actually I know why I never visited the place before. I was under the impression that it would be a smoke-filled, beer and rock place. Nothing except the rock part turned out to be true. And I am going to go back there! 

Avan and Lynn were the nicest, most thoughtful people this birthday. While Avan planned everything (from Bombay!) till the icing on the cake of a surprise party, Lynn ensured that the plan got executed without any glitch whatsoever. I was touched, and have just not had the words to write how I feel about it. 

Things are finally looking up for Varun and I am relieved and very happy with the developments. Now just keeping fingers crossed.

It's been a social few weeks. This weekend could go either way.

Of Infections, Weaknesses, and Addictions

I have been all over the place today. This business of having less work is extremely unproductive even if for a day. I don’t know where I got a cold from again. I am deeply annoyed. Few things can beat being on good terms with seniors. My manager went on a long leave yesterday and gave me a pack of Starbucks to enjoy. Of course, it was just lying in her drawer, but even so. She could have chosen to take it home. :D Oh yes, I have started having coffee lately. I always feel like going out and meeting people on days when I get off work early. Today when I do have a plan which I was excited about, I only feel like going home and sleeping. I want to sleep for 24 hours, if not less. The loop paid a visit today. Hate that bitch! Hate this cold too! I got a lot of flowers on my birthday. They made me happy. Now they are dead. I want more flowers. I want to roll in flowers. Just like I wanted to lie in those marigold fields in Kerala! Kerala was so blissful. Why can I not get more of it. Why is life not a paid holiday. I want to visit a desert now. Cold or hot, does not matter. Just some expanse which I can lose myself in. I don’t like this ‘control’ nonsense. We should just let everything flow. Actually, both have their advantages. Letting it flow makes me happy, and being in control gives a sense of balance. But letting it flow makes me miserable too. Can I please be selective about it? Keep the happiness, that is. Ha.

Times

It was an ordinary morning, until 10:45 am when my boss came out and mentioned the blast at Delhi High Court. The next, what, 90 seconds were filled with anxiety. Mom told me she was in office, not at the court, and that was the end of the tragedy for me. We talked about it in office, watched some news, and got about the routine things of an ordinary day.

Shopping was on my mind for the past few days, so after work I set out to the malls closer to home. Apparently security concerns disrupted metro operations in the evening and my family got to know about it. I did not experience it. As my family worried and called, I hopped from one store to the other getting my card swiped left, right and centre.

At night, I was thinking of writing about the shopping experience in detail, but a phone call from a friend took over. We were discussing some nonsensical topic when the world shook. I have bad reflexes (which is why I don’t panic too easily) and it took almost the entire 5-6 seconds of the earthquake for me to realise what happened. Brother and missus were hyper. The next 15 minutes were slightly disturbed and excited. And then we got about the routine things of an ordinary night.

I was discussing with a colleague how these episodes mean little to those of us who have been fortunate enough to be safe so far. But thinking about the close escapes, or even the times when there was no information available, still gives me the jitters. Particularly the Delhi blasts of 2008 when I was in Pune and I could not get in touch with family and friends. I could not breathe. I still remember that Tarun was the last one I managed to talk to that night. Him, I panicked about because getting through took the longest. It was creepy.

This morning when I entered office I thought to myself how my mornings are now incomplete without the three coloured papers. But by the time I was done with all the papers that I browse through, I was feeling sick in the pit of my stomach. The blast’s reports were upsetting.

We are literally sitting on a ticking time bomb. We choose to not bother because we have a lot of other things to bother about. We choose to not bother because perhaps there is little we can do about it. Feels like such a bloody handicap!

And it is another ordinary day with routine things to care about.

Windy

As I sit and rewrite about the who’s-who of industry associations in India, all I can feel is air getting sucked out of my stomach. There are also the clouds roaring outside. The sky seems awfully bright for that kind of weather.

___

I have loved you from my heart and hated from even deeper inside, but your suffering has always made me uncomfortable. I know you do not need me or want me to do anything for you, but I truly wish you find peace again. I hated your face, but I guess I was unknowingly happy to know that you were happy.
___

It was an odd night. There was no pretence. But being in the moment, and only in the moment, has never done me any good. Maybe I should retract. But how come it is a struggle already.

A Review

My 25 things-to-do list from last birthday...

1. Of course, get that job! - Check! I think I am in the right place.

2. Get the knee fixed - Check! We're almost fixed. 

3. Visit the Taj Mahal - Check! 

4. Make one long trip to the Himalayas - Check! It was brilliant!!

5. Make another long trip to Rajasthan in the winters - Still on the list. Maybe this year.

6. Buy a car - Changed my mind.

7. Help Mom redo the house - She doesn't listen!

8. Pick up a new hobby - Err... no new hobby. 

9. Learn a new language, Spanish maybe - I took exactly four lessons. 

10. Catch one of Ustad Zakir Hussain's concerts - Check! It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

11. Find an occasion to wear that black dress - It's still in the cupboard. :-/

12. Burn up the past for good - Well, cannot claim to have burnt it. But I have locked it up. 

13. Clear my debt - Check! 

14. Actively participate in at least one initiative of Blank Noise's - Unfortunately didn't.

15. Invest in silk, silver, and a lot of white! :D - White count of my cupboard has reached an embarrassing number. :D

16. Try quitting consumption of bread - I quit for a short period, and now just consume lesser than I did last year. 

17. Try about three different hairdos - Done, of course. 

18. Make the line clearer - It is clearer than it ever was. 

19. Get a hot new frame for my spectacles too - I do think the current ones are hot.

20. Barring that dress, get rid of all black coloured things in my life - I'm almost there.

21. Cut down on unnecessary loyalties - Taken care of.

22. Spend less time online - Work does ensure that I spend less time online.

23. Start reading again - Err... I blame the two books that I tried restarting with.

24. Take dance classes - I think I will do it this year. 

25. Let it be. - Letting it be. 

That is a good score. Thank you, life. You have been kind. 

It's True

People who said that one should enjoy life the most with friends in school and college were right. Money can't buy you those moments. It never will. 

Oh No!

That song should not have been playing at that moment. I am stupidly in love with I don't know who/what. 

Reminiscent

I'm ill and bored. Had been thinking of making a record of the past few years' travels. So, here we are...


Delhi-Jhansi-Orchha-Jhansi-Delhi
20-22 August, 2011
Amiya, Alekhya, Shantanu, Tarun

Delhi-Bangalore-Wayanad-Delhi
13-15 August, 2011
Karan, Ruhi

Delhi-Jaipur-Delhi
14-15 May, 2011
Priyam, Ridhima, Swetha

Delhi-Agra-Fatehpur Sikri-Delhi
5 March, 2011
Varun

Delhi-Rudrapur-Nainital-Sitla-Mukteshwar-Almora-Patal Devi-Kasar Devi-Chitai-Jageshwar-Kausani-Ranikhet-Bhimtal-Kathgodam-Delhi
15-22 December, 2010
Radhika

Delhi-Mumbai-Pune-Mumbai-Delhi
11-12 December, 2010
Dhoop, Robin, Ruhi















Delhi-Amritsar-Delhi

24-25 May, 2010
Agneesh, Akshay, Amisha, Bhai, Bhabhi, Harsh, Nidhi, Salil, Samridhi, Sarthak, Sharad, Shiven, Surabhi, Stuthi, Sushant, Swaroop, Swathi, Tanya, Tushar

Pune-Mumbai-Pune
20-21 March, 2010
Mamaji and Family

Pune-Panchgani-Wai-Pune
15-16 March, 2010
Priyam, Robin, Ruhi, Swetha, Vrinda

Pune-Kunjirwadi-Pune
12 February, 2010
PR Batch, SIMC

Pune-Koyna-Guhagar-Ganpatipule-Malgund-Jaigad-Pune
30 December 2009-1 January 2010
Bhavya, Debanjana, Kausik, Priyam, Ranjan, Ridhima, Ruhi, Shagun, Swetha, Vinaya

Lavale-Tamhini Ghat-Pune City-Lavale
3 September, 2009
Priyam, Ridhima, Robin, Ruhi, Sahil, Vrinda

Lavale-Mulshi Lake-Pune City-Lavale
22 August, 2009
Kausik, Nishant, Venkatesh

Pune-Khadakvasla-Sinhagarh-Pune
26 July, 2009
Karan

Pune-Srivardhan-Pune
31 June-1 July, 2009
Ankita, Priyam, Swetha

Delhi-Chandigarh-Delhi
24 May, 2009
Bhai, Ma, Pa

Delhi-Rishikesh-Delhi
2-3 May, 2009
Avantika, Priya, Nidhi, Samridhi, Shagun

Pune-Aurangabad-Ellora-Ajanta-Aurangabad-Pune
9-10 February, 2009
Ankita, Priyam













Pune-Mumbai-Kolkata-Jamshedpur-Kolkata-Mumbai-Pune
30 January-4 February, 2009
Subhadip, Sumit

Delhi-Moradabad-Delhi
1-7 November, 2008

Delhi-Pune-Delhi
23-26 January, 2008
Ma, Nanu

Big 25, Part B!

I have a feeling that even though the birthday falls on a Saturday this year, nothing too special is going to happen. But my desire to make the big 25 a little extra special remains. So I have conveniently labelled my two August weekend trips as my birthday celebrations in advance. Wayanad was A, and this past weekend’s Orchha trip was B. Two reasons why it works well are:
1. I am at my happiest when I am travelling.
2. There is no guilt in spending so much money because birthday is anyway special!

The Orchha idea was floated by Amiya and her friend Alekhya. I got involved because I had posted on Facebook that I want to travel during the janamashtami weekend. I wanted to see snow, but I didn’t mind palaces and temples at all.

The economics geek club and I were to take the Bhopal Shatabdi till Jhansi, and travel by road from there. I was boarding a train after about 1.5 years and was excited as always. And the window seat made me happier. It was an uneventful journey with courteous interaction with Alekhya and Shantanu whom I had met briefly on one or two occasions earlier.

We took two autos from Jhansi station to Orchha. On the way, Tarun and I discussed how the weather was decent and the air was cool. I had devoted no time to any kind of planning for this trip. While packing a couple of hours before the train I had only managed to check the weather conditions and had noticed the 80% humidity projection. 80% did seem to be on the higher side, but I had no choice at that hour. It would not be an exaggeration even if I say that this humidity felt like it was 150% over the three days. I was not amused. And now that I have cribbed about it, I shall go on talking about the good things.

Amiya had arranged for us to spend a night at a home stay in the interiors of Orchha. We were all worried that we may have to use community toilets but nobody was to mess with Amiya after she had given her word to someone. To my pleasant surprise, the toilet there was nice and clean. Especially given what I had to experience in my last trip. Half-squats are not easy if you have not seen the face of your gym in 20 days. But Alekhya really wanted a far more convenient bathroom. One with a tub, I mean. I think that first day I rubbed her the wrong way quite a few times. I was almost sure she would hate me by the end of the trip. Anyway.

Shantanu, with Manish, a kid who amused all but me. 

After a nice, homely lunch at our hosts’ place, we decided we would rent cycles and visit the less explored side of the Betwa river. For that we had to bike through Futera, a small village adjacent to our place of stay. Most of us were riding a bike after long but were equally excited about our little venture. A short distance on road was followed by a kaccha road, which was followed by lugging the cycles through a rocky terrain.

Betwa

My claim of being a water person was written off because I do not know how to swim and was not comfortable going into the river. The others enjoyed the water immensely as I had the near-coronary of this trip. My need for a few quiet, alone moments made me walk a little away from where everyone else was. But I had not gone too far when I slipped on a rock and completely lost control. Heard the camera smash on the adjacent rock. In the five seconds that the entire episode took place, I also froze for a moment after hearing that sound. The lens had taken a hit. I was much thankful about the fact that I had not taken the hood off yet. After noticing the scratches on it, I felt the pain that was poking in my back. It was rough, but not too bad. I walked on. A couple of steps ahead I noticed some movement in the water. It got me enthused because I almost believed it to be a crocodile. Right then Tarun called and insisted that I came back. And when I turned around, my croc had turned into a stupid buffalo. Without giving it any further attention, I walked back to where everyone else was, we clicked a few pictures, and started our journey back home.

We spent some time contemplating whether it would make sense to move to Khajuraho the following day or not. I obviously wanted to go. Because of the slow pace of the trip till then, others didn’t. Nobody understood my ‘main to ja rahi hoon’ emotion, and I decided to behave myself because I was travelling with these people for the first time. Actually I behaved extremely well for the bummer that the decision was in my head. Alas, nobody except me could appreciate it then.

Amiya and Alekhya took a little nap. Tarun whiled away time and then went for a bath. Sitting around, doing nothing in that annoying weather was driving me crazy. So, at 6.30 pm, I picked up my camera and stepped out. I didn’t know where I was going. I knew that the light was receding too quickly, but I just had to step out! I think Shantanu couldn’t figure why I suddenly decided to go out alone and offered to come along. I didn’t mind his company, and the two of us started walking. I saw the chhatris in the distance and felt like going there. But the light was really too low for it to be of any use. Then we saw that big tree that we had noticed in the morning. It was bloody huge. Shantanu was excited about it, wanted to have a closer view of it, and I also thought it made sense to go there rather than figure the way to the chhatris. We asked for directions to the tree and rushed towards it. I clicked a few pictures and again felt that sense of incompetence at capturing the grandeur of nature through my camera. In any case, there’s no reason to complain as it was a nice, little outing that improved my mood.

We had been suggested to try out Milan restaurant for good pizzas. The sceptic in me had a feeling that it would turn out to be one of those not-so-nice overrated popular places. But it was surprisingly good. Wood fired pizzas, pastas, cheesy mashed potatoes, good juices and laughter made for a perfectly indulgent and satiating dinner.

Our dessert - Hello To The Queen. Alekhya thought it was nothing better than chaat papdi. It really was quite sad!

Alekhya!

Like all fun trips with friends, this too had a ‘highlight of the trip’. During our auto ride back Tarun snapped at innocent Alekhya with a, “clearly you don’t know anything about the Mesopotamian civilization”. (Geek club, told ya!) It was all in good humour and the ‘clearly’ tone is going to stay with us till the time we remember this trip. 

I had planned to wake up early so that I could check out all the pretty places at leisure (in decent weather). But when my alarm rang I realised that we were going to be in that place for two more days and we could all just go do the sight-seeing together. So I went back to sleep for a few more hours.

While the home stay was nice, the humidity was getting to all of us and we really wanted to get out of there to a more comfortable place. Tarun worked hard to find a decent hotel for the following night and we finally narrowed in on the available Betwa Retreat. Heritage suite at Betwa Retreat to be precise. The idea was that all of us could stay together in one big room. So we settled our accounts with Friends of Orchha and took an auto to our hotel. We couldn’t help but laugh at the stark contrast that the hotel’s luxury was to our little, rural experience of the previous 24 hours. But we are all admittedly spoilt, big city kids. Nothing makes us happier than an air conditioner. Hey, the place had a bath tub too! :D One of them looked towards me and even commented that s/he knows that now I would just stay parked in the room. But I had to not give in to that temptation! I didn’t know when, or if at all, these guys would go out to see what Orchha is known for. So I was the first one in for a shower and out I went to the Raja’s Mahal to get my sole ticket which allowed entry to all tourist places there. On the way I also bought a much-needed stole lest my skin would have burned down to ashes ‘coz it wasn’t just humid then, the sun was harsh too.

Night at the home stay!

The Betwa Retreat Hotel

Our Heritage Suite

On entering, my first thought was, “wow, they’re not making any effort to maintain this place”. But the structure’s beauty and expanse took over that feeling instantly. I took a long walk all around the complex, met more cows and goats (Orchha’s definitely cattle-extensive!) and clicked a lot of pictures. What I also observed during those two hours was some constant religious singing in the background. Someone had mentioned a temple where people have been singing for eight years, but this sound could not have been from the temple because it was in the other direction. I don’t remember when I started following that voice, but I do remember that it was one of the most soulful, most touching voices ever. The man wasn’t entirely in tune, but his voice was real.

When I tired myself out completely, I headed back to the hotel for lunch with the rest of the gang.

Some good conversations and okay-ish food later, the four of them went to the Mahals and I went to the room for a cool-down. The set-up somehow worked well for me. I relaxed for some time and then joined them again at Milan restaurant. We had clearly developed a liking for the place!

From Milan we walked to the cenotaphs closer to our hotel. They looked magnificent in the setting sun’s light.

Alekhya had been wishing for some wine for the past two days, and dinner that night was finally time for some wine. But as it turned out, she didn’t want that wine anymore. So we ordered for white rum, and Amiya & I gave her company. Soon, Alekhya and I were cracking up over some nonsense that at least I don’t remember now. All I know is that we were having a good time.

Soon after we got back to the room, Amiya and Alekhya stepped out with their conversations. Tarun fell asleep. Shantanu and I had a small but interesting discussion, and then he went out and joined the girls too. I wasn’t too sleepy, I didn’t want to disturb them either, so I decided to walk to the other side of the lawn and sit with the moon. The stillness of the night and the striking brightness of the moon somehow made me wish for company for a change. A shoulder to rest my head on. But that didn’t change the fact that I was enormously thankful to my god for giving me that moment. Over the years I have learnt to respect some of the finer opportunities and people that He has sent my way. And this night was one of the many flashes of happiness and freedom that I have got from Him.

Shantanu had promised me that he won’t let me sleep before I drink enough water to compensate for the drinking, and thankfully he kept his word.

The next morning was definitely lazy. Even for me. I lay on the bed and enjoyed the nothingness as Amiya played some sufi music on Tarun’s laptop (which he was carrying for work like a typical consultant). We took our time getting ready and checking out. It was too late by the time we thought of the temples because apparently they’re closed by 12.30 pm. So we just went to another popular restaurant, Cha Cha Moon, played poker there, and sat around till the time we could breathe no more because it was a little stuffy there.

We were again taking the Bhopal Shatabdi from Jhansi, and were scheduled to leave at 1755. Till then we killed time at the hotel reception, took prints of the ticket, shopped a little, lost a borrowed earring, found it, laughed, and perspired too.

I saw the setting sun from the massive window of the train and felt even happier about life.

I promised Alekhya that I would see her again. I told Shantanu that I did really like him. I didn’t tell Amiya and Tarun anything. Just said quick good-byes and got home to my bed.

This trip was quite different from the Wayanad trip the previous weekend. Even from the ones that I used to take from Pune. The strangers were exceedingly sweet and I had a great time with them. Tarun was the comforting factor even though he was highly irritating as usual. And of course, complete credit goes to Amiya for planning, organising, and making this trip happen. We were all busy with our respective lives, but she took the much-needed initiative and made our weekend perfect.