Moving Along

“What's changed in the past year?” Shreya asked me with seemingly genuine interest. 

In the last 18 months, my whole life has changed. I moved from Delhi to Abu Dhabi at what was probably the tipping point of my career. I shifted into a professional environment that was remarkably different from what I was used to. I liked parts of it but a few people managed to make me hate it by the end. I hated them, I hated what they made me do, and I hated what they did to me. They shattered my confidence in my ability to perform. One can take it as a lesson and motivation to do better. But not when you have plans to move to what is probably the world’s most competitive market. London.

I had a long, extended courtship – London thumakda, if you will – period with my husband who is settled in the city. I first visited him in London last summer. The city and its vibrancy won me over. During the same trip we agreed to break the news to our parents. The force that be was kind through that process. It went well and we were looking at a civil registration in December. During that period we visited Istanbul together. It was a dreamy trip with a perfect proposal by the Bosphorous. Don’t try and keep track of the sequence of events. We did first tell the parents, followed by a formal proposal, then a wedding, then an engagement party, and then finally another wedding ceremony. Yup.

By the end of 2014, the year I first stepped out of India, I had visited Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Muscat, London and Istanbul; along with some amazing countryside in the respective countries. This sounds fancy enough to the person that I was when I was based in Delhi. But to the person living this life, it felt normal. The UAE has very little for a traveller, especially in comparison to India. It compels you to cross international borders. Well, I won’t deny that it also pays you enough to be able to do that.

The opportunity to live alone came at a time when I was about as ready as I could have been for it. I wanted to do it much sooner in life, but in retrospect, I don’t think I would have been able to handle it. I cooked. I lazed. I shopped. I gazed. And Skype was undeniably an important part of life. I felt at peace in my cosy studio by the sea. But I had withdrawal symptoms every time a visitor left. Knowing that I controlled the expiry date on that life comforted me more than I credit it for. 

Wrapping up in Abu Dhabi was painful. Formalities to cancel the visa, electricity and Internet connections, home lease, credit cards and bank account, along with shipping luggage home, remitting money home and work handovers were draining. Running in parallel was the process of applying for the UK visa, which I’m told is one of the hardest in the world. It took several months to put together the documents required for the application. Also in parallel was the politics of returning to and being in the home country office for a short period. The ugly side of the organisation I loved and still respect was at play. And the remaining time during that same period was used to plan my wedding. The wedding I never dreamed or planned anything for while growing up. I’d never done it not because it didn’t interest me but because I feared never finding someone I could marry. 

Wedding days were fun and exhausting, as expected. The days following it were anxious and awkward, as expected. And then I arrived in London.

I left behind family, friends, a career and an independent life to come to this dream city with the man most perfect for me. 

It’s been a little over three months here. I’m pampered a great deal. We’re learning to adjust to each other’s ways. Some of his friends have been warmer than I expected. Trying to find a job I’d like is challenging. I knew it would be so when I first decided to move here. But living a challenge is different from knowing about it.

Not working and earning often gnaws at me. I sometimes feel I don’t deserve the life I’m living because I didn’t earn my way here. But when I consider things emotionally, I think I paid enough dues before reaching here. Some kind of a balance, I presume (?).  

Mister wanted to show me Paris and we made visa appointments and travel bookings for a long weekend that fell exactly between his birthday and mine. I’ll write about that and the unplanned trip to Berlin separately. This is not how I expected to see Europe. But I cannot complain either. 

Through this time, I’ve lost some people to time, circumstances and age. It’s not easy being so far away from so many people who matter. It’s not easy accepting happiness on the back of time that showed what darkness is like. 

But I am trying to accept and to earnestly live the life I have chosen and the choices I have made. 

Indian in Britain – Independence Day 2015

I woke up questioning my ‘Indian millennial’ self if it is justified for me to be a resident of the United Kingdom. The country India bled out to not very long ago. Fitting question for my first Independence Day here, isn’t it?

One can argue that it is perfectly okay for a millennial – never saw the struggle, nobody cares about it in this time, and we have different issues to bother about as Indians, not who colonised the country in the previous century. 

Or one can let it gnaw at that idea loosely developed during teenage that I’d never want to live here given all the history and so on. It forced me to think beyond my recent London thumakda moments.

So where am I? Post-colonial Britain? Debatable. Anti-colonial society? Maybe. I cannot claim to have learned much about the country in my less-than-three-months here. But I have definitely observed some things that make me believe that the state isn’t necessarily representative of the people even in a democracy. Sounds familiar?

Normal people. Bothered by weather. Rushing to work. Enjoying their food and drinks. Travelling on weekends. Paying a LOT of tax money. 

Standard government. Political battles. Trivial matters. Troubled borders. Vague international positions. 

Of course, one does have better infrastructure here than in India. But that doesn’t mean that public transport doesn’t go on strike or public places don’t leak after heavy rain or streets aren’t littered. It’s the same.  

It’s a Conservative government. The issues are different, but the fundamentals are the same. 

So, what if I extrapolate this scenario to the 19th and early 20th century? I admit I have not read any literature on English people’s sentiments on colonialism but I want to infer that not everyone would have been in favour of what the government did. Just like today. Just like in India. And it is really the people I’m living with now – not the government. 

And I can ignore Churchill’s statues. Just like Mayawati’s. 

Happy Independence Day!

PS - I will not pay to go see the crown jewels. Those are ours. 

To Another Seven Years!

Early afternoon was chaotic….Enter calmness: Ruhi Jhunjhunwala. Thing were smooth thereon.

I consider myself lucky for the friends I have, especially the ones whom I’ve managed to keep beyond a ‘relevant social context’. Miss Jhunjhunwala is one of them. She and I think and feel alike, our reactions to difficult situations as well as movie characters are the same, and we often (used to) end up liking the same guys as well. I couldn't find a Jai Singh Rathore. Now I hope she does. 

She’s been the calming influence on my life for many years now and she’s been my fun-unlimited appletini partner for just as long. She introduced me to that god-awesome green apple martini at Terttulia, Pune back in the day and we continue to have at least one of those drinks at every opportunity we get. 

Post-party trip to Panchgani

She was one of my anchors through the crappiest times in Pune and the period that followed, she experienced Ladakh with me, she made extra effort to visit me in Abu Dhabi, and she made herself 100 per cent available for me at my wedding.

She had offered long distance help as well, but that was difficult for me to work with. So we decided she’d take charge once she arrives in Delhi. And she did it right from zero hour. She ensured the mehendi walas were doing what I had agreed to pay them for, she fed me while my hands were busy, she scratched my face, fixed my hair and did the entire drill through that tiring afternoon of the mehendi.

Each day she was there to ensure that my makeup was right. Her opinion on the hair mattered, and so did her vote on vetoing various lip colour options. 

And in parallel she managed to get her hair too :P

She also managed the gold jewellery when Mom had her hands full. She coordinated with family, cousins, friends, driver, photographer, hotel staff and the whole world (it seemed) on my behalf through those three days. Heck, she even organised the cash properly in my wallet! I hadn’t done it in weeks and it meant a great deal at that point when I was least expecting it.

She lugged my clothes and bags around for me. She dealt with my tantrums with ease and responsibly managed my things till even after I left with Chetak. 

She stepped in when I was beginning to feel that I cannot reasonably ask anyone to give me that level of undivided attention. Everyone had something else to attend to. I am sure she did too, but she made an exception. For me. I hope she had the time to have fun too.

A small part of me also wished I could join her in the Himalayas after the wedding, but that was just a wish at that point.

I am proud of her for finally getting her nose pierced before she left Delhi.

Now she can sing 'mera laung gawacha' more legitimately!

And I am waiting to celebrate her 30th in style. Open skies and the mountains await. 

Till then, remembering the year of the 27th!

The Bride*

One final time – I got married. The final of all weddings. The one after which I left my parents’ house and changed my life to start a new life and so on. It’s been a month since that happened. I know it seems like I now only note monthly updates around the wedding but there’s just been so much change and so much action that I didn’t know when or what to start writing about. 

I miss being able to document the small details of life. It used to help build more vivid memories. The wedding process was exhausting but it was such a fun experience that I’d rather keep its memory alive in my mind than let it fade with time.

The overall process almost began as soon as we decided to get married, which was nearly a year ago, but the real drama truly began one week ahead of the wedding. That’s when I had officially wrapped up work and the groom had landed in town. I had gone to the airport with his parents to receive him and he took his time coming out. I should have taken that as a sign of the wait I’d have to do on the wedding day.

That day on, we had extended family, cousins and other guests arriving into Delhi almost every day. 

The same afternoon was a paath that Mom had organised with some neighbourhood religious group. It was delayed (as was everything else for the rest of the week), started out all right, and then suddenly I was called forward for a dance. That was not fun. I still played along for a bit. But those women didn’t seem to stop. Most other people in the room, including Mom, knew by then that I was losing it. Daksh’s mom was laughing because she could read my expressions a bit too well. And then I snapped at one of those random women. I had to. I mean, did she really think she could make me twirl for a stupid dance!

On to a different dance: Samridhi had been wanting to throw me a bachelorette for several months now. And after much discussion (as always), we finally went out partying on a Tuesday night. Now people (read: the husband) joked that my party was with cousins but the reality was that it was so much fun that he was actually jealous. Daksh came straight from the airport. Bhrigu laughed that all we needed to ease Daksh’s stag entry was him in three-fourths and chappals. Yeah, we don’t tend to plan too far in advance as a family. But it was a success, I was happy high, and these guys even bought me a dil-shaped balloon – well, I insisted – before we headed home.

I must note upfront that the wedding seemed to be the perfect extended event for selfies. I still cannot believe the number of selfies that emerged from that week of festivities. I guess I should just attribute it to the number of occasions people got to dress up or party or plain goof around, and leave it at that. No, it was mind boggling.

Just a sample

The other thing I must note is the number of people who travelled for the wedding. Some did it for me, some did it for my parents and some did it for an India experience. But it’s amazing how many of them did it and they surely made me feel special. Which brings me to the other point about feeling special. Now you know that as much as I enjoy attention in general, being at the centre of things is not quite my thing. So it sounded odd when people said things such as, “everyone will do what you want to do”, “we can do whatever you like”, and so on. In retrospect, I liked it. 

Coming back to the events. Chetak’s family was to come home to give my mehendi a day before I was scheduled to get it done. It was a small affair at home, followed by a dramatic evening at Nehru Place. I was originally scheduled to go to a salon to get some basic ‘pre-bridal’ things done but turned out there was finally a decision on my UK visa. So Bhaiya and I went, did a lot of waiting until I was finally handed my envelope. I had decided to keep it a surprise for Chetak and he clearly can be as bad as me at receiving them. The initial reaction from clueless him was quite dull.

By the time we started our return it was nearly 8 pm. I still decided to go to the salon and get at least some work done. The next day of Mehendi was going to be long. 

It started with Samridhi driving me to the airport to receive the Abu Dhabi folks. From there we went to get me a facial which was one of the most magical experiences ever. Yes, I have got facials done before but this one was just brilliant. I was suddenly looking three times better.

Early afternoon was chaotic with the whole family and all the guests moving to the hotel where most of the functions were. Enter calmness: Ruhi Jhunjhunwala. Thing were smooth thereon. 

I had decided to get my mehendi done in the afternoon so I could enjoy the evening more comfortably. So by the time people had lunch and lazed, I got ready for all the dancing.

:D

I found Reema, my makeup artist by chance but she was the most brilliant part of the wedding. She knew exactly what I wanted (or didn’t want) and what would look good on me. Importantly, she had the patience to bear with my indecisive tantrums AND she respected my wishes even when she didn’t agree with me. Her husband, Elvis gave the perfect inputs when she and I couldn’t decide  something. I loved them both!

I wasn’t prepared for all the compliments I received that evening. It was exciting. The event itself was a relatively small affair – everyone seemed to enjoy a lot. I hear the wine went out of stock that evening. But energy levels remained high through all the dhol, DJ and dholak moments of the night. And it was my favourite of the lot as well.

The next day was relaxed (mostly). The Sangeet was scheduled for the evening. We got a little late in getting to the venue and I waited in a little room with some of the friends and cousins while the initial sagan ceremonies went on outside. Before that, Chetak and I did a final rehearsal of our dance. Yes, I never thought I’d do it, but I did dance at my own wedding. In front of all those guests. It didn’t matter much because I don’t even know who all except my close family and friends were at the event. I vaguely remember everyone cheering us on – the video certainly helped me live that moment better. 

All the dances put together by both families were super fun as well. While Chetak’s side had been rehearsing for nearly a month, my lovelies pulled it all together in the final 2-3 days. Bhaiya actually did his bit on the afternoon of the performance. I somehow always knew that that’s how it would ultimately be, but I anyway made a WHOLE lot of effort to bring people together a few weeks in advance. Data doesn’t cost much, does it?

Meet the boss. The family underdog. 

Let's take a moment for this other lady who's special for a number of reasons. For the nth time, she gets me. And she is bloody darn good at reading subliminal messages as well. So she seemed to be on auto pilot (I'm sure she wasn't and it took a lot of work) but I didn't have to say ANYTHING to her. She knew when she needed to pack her bags and get her ass over, when she needed to stuff food in my face and just about when she had to filter things coming my way.

Wedding day was a pain for the most part. Mom had spent early morning in the hospital. Random aunts were checking me for random things. I had developed an eye infection and a pimple. I was sleep deprived and basically grumpy. I didn’t want to spend another three hours in the salon. And I actually did message Chetak that I’d rather skip that evening than go through the entire process.

However, the haldi was a lot of fun. The chooda process gave me a painful enough injury on the right hand. I still have a scar. Reema made me look good so I was happy for a bit again. When I reached the venue I got loosies. Getting out and back into the lehenga multiple times wasn’t fun. And because there’s always gotta be a cherry on top – just when I were to walk out to the stage, my lehenga’s zip gave up. So then three people hustled for pins to pull that three kg thing together. Yes, I was very thankful they were there. If I were alone, I would have probably walked out without bothering about any of it.

Monica being a bit artsy

Just because.

All the smiling we had to do for pictures was literally painful. I think I was just glad someone was doing it with me. Our jaws ached. And I remember I couldn’t stop smiling even when I wanted to – the muscles froze!

Throughout that day I was going around asking everyone if pandit ji had been briefed. Nobody gave me a real answer. I’m all for traditions but was in NO MOOD to sit through an entire night of gyaan – even if it was probably the most important ever. Luck favoured me – I think he was in no mood himself. He wrapped it all up in a little over an hour. 

Vidaai was uneventful. I didn’t cry. I was completely prepared for it to happen, but experienced folks were right when they said it was all about the moment. I am glad there was no drama. 

It took us a few days of more small ceremonies and formalities before Chetak and I felt normal again. Honestly, I only felt completely normal after moving to London. Yes, I know that sounds odd but the first week of married life with family-in-law can only be limited-normal.

Stay tuned for more. 

*On a slow afternoon during my final week at work, I had drafted a welcome note and an itinerary for all my friends who were coming from outside of Delhi. Different matter that I never ended up handing it to anyone but I had signed off on it as ‘The Bride’. Of course, I clarified that I did it because I’d never get to do it again (hopefully) and it was a thrill completely worth it. 

Pictures courtesy: Friends, family and Monica Moghe

Big? Yes. Fat? Yes. Wedding? Yes Sir!

There is exactly one month left before the marriage is officially (ahem) solemnised. I am completely consumed by the endless details of the wedding. But there are days when I feel I am well on time with most of the big things taken care of. Then there are days when the loose ends of each of those big things give me way more anxiety than I would like. And then there are those moments when I feel I am heading towards a vanilla wedding with no personalised elements at all. But truly speaking, I can either continue to make engagement plans (communications, duh) so I have enough money, or I can focus on those small details. Clearly I cannot do it all. And clearly I cannot delegate as much as I thought I could. 

In this process, I am eating more and more chocolate. I have also reached the point where I cannot deny having experienced a ‘bridezilla’ moment. Still don’t regret losing it at those women at the tailor’s! *he screwed my wedding blouse!!*

Thinking about moving so far away from the family is disconcerting. And thinking about not having a job – exactly five years after I swore never to sit at home again – is all the more unsettling. 

But on the brighter side, look what I have achieved in the recent past:

• Successfully registered my marriage 
• Got my passport renewed in a jiffy
• Submitted a humongous visa application – they better give me that visa!
• Paid someone to confirm I do not have tuberculosis
• Paid someone else a LOT more to confirm that I have basic knowledge of English
• Documented more details about my relationship with my husband than even what my parents ever enquired about
• Entertained and defied endless arguments around how ‘a bride must do/wear/look like this’ 
• Gave in to many more such arguments so you can see the traditional bride soon enough
• Convinced friends to not throw me a ‘naughty’ bachelorette. I ended up (happily) having rajma chawal at that party
• Survived (I’d like to believe so) a sensitive political situation – well, simply because the only solution left was to not bother beyond a point
• Co-hosted mom’s retirement party
• With much help, got every last bit of my pennies out of Abu Dhabi into Delhi
• Didn’t forget any birthdays
• Braved an entire useless week of flu
• AND SOME WEDDING-RELATED SUCCESSES:
• Selected the invite at the first store I entered. Like a boss!
• Did ALL the accessory shopping alone
• Combed through a list of over 50 photographers to select one
• Selected my wedding dress in two days flat
• Convinced so many friends to travel thousands of miles for my big day
• Nothing bright about this – I still hate the tailor fraternity. I always will. From the bottom of my heart. Period.

More later.

Pause

I don’t know what’s going on. Just the other day I was feeling completely tired of being on my own and all I wanted was company.

Today, I feel like I spend all my time either with people or thinking about people. 

Reality is, current affairs have completely taken over my life. It’s no joke that I borrowed the concept of ‘life admin’ and started an Excel workbook with that name. Every time I have a quiet moment I feel like I am missing something and go back to that workbook to find something that needs to be addressed. 

When I am not managing life admin, I am busy talking to family and friends about it. 

And when I am not doing any of the above, I am thinking ‘fat brides are ugly brides’. Am I doing anything about it? No. I just let pain continue to control my life.

I just completed a year in a foreign country and returned home to the old life. And I have been at a loss of words about how I feel. People have framed the question in various ways, but I don’t seem to have anything substantive to say. 

The life there? It was convenient and quiet. I liked that. I can never get used to cars honking. 

The people there? Some were warm, some I didn’t get along with, and some whose faces said they hated my presence. Many that I couldn’t relate to. Coming back to people who I can take at face value is comforting. And I don’t mind having that even if it seems boring to some.

What has come up in a few recent conversations is the idea of ‘suspended reality’. Admittedly, it is not mine, but it completely defines the past year for me. More so now that I have come back to the same house, same streets, same office, same routine, darn – even the same seat in office as I had earlier. It almost feels like I never left. So, the effort now is towards making sure I don’t lose the value add of the past year in the familiarity that surrounds me today. 

It’s hard to openly say that the primary reason why I uprooted myself ended up leading to no excitement for the most part. There are a number of factors that influenced that, but reality is that my first day back in the old world was the most interesting I’d had in a very long time. 

Yes, I know most things do not excite me anyway, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily need to feel like a drag. 

The wedding prep is getting tiring even before it’s really begun. I think there has just been too much time spent on thinking about things and I’m running out of steam now that it’s time to actually do it. I wish these decisions weren’t so hard to make. They shouldn’t be. 

In other news, the fiancé-husband made Feb 14th special for me while my letters to him got lost somewhere in the Atlantic.   

Time

Given that I was away from the blog for most part of 2014 and that December was fairly busy itself, I never got to pen my year-end post. And then I came across this feature on HuffPost which served as a good starting point for this post. Thinking through the below 30 questions about the year that went by and the year ahead put things in perspective – some a little late in the day and some just in time before I start a new life. 

Here we go…

2014 in review

1. Describe your 2014 in three words

# Stable

# New

# Challenging

2. What was your most common mental state this year?

Happy

3. What was the biggest event in your life this year?

The engagement

4. What were your three happiest moments?

# The couplet night

# Telling Mom about Chetak

# The birthday dinner 

5. What new skills did you learn?

# Cooking

# Work processes-related things

6. What personal qualities or habits did you develop, cultivate, or strengthen?

# Started to articulate thoughts more clearly

# Introduced more fibre intake

7. What new things did you discover about yourself?

After pondering over this question for a few minutes, I feel old. There’s nothing new I discovered about myself. What I did discover about life is that 100 per cent happiness is a myth. 

8. What little things did you most enjoy doing on a daily basis?

Chatting with cabbies

9. What out-of-the-ordinary things did you do this year?

Most part of life this year was out of the ordinary

10. What cool things did you create?

All the food! Rajma, chhole, kadi, pasta, etc

11. What big things did you do that you had to get out of your comfort zone?

# Moved countries

# Worked with people from a completely different culture (inter-personal and professional)

# Swam in the ocean 

12. What achievements are you most proud of?

Living on my own

13. What was the most memorable moment this year?

The proposal

14. What are you most thankful for?

Love

15. Who are you most thankful for?

Chetak

16. How did you spend time with your family and how did the relationship evolve?

Technology-dependent bonds 

17. What or who had the biggest positive impact on your life this year?

Chetak did

18. What was the most important lesson you learnt in 2014?

You need a lot of patience and discipline to move the needle beyond a point

19. If you could turn back time, what would you have done differently?

Tackled the new role at work differently

20. What advice would you give to other people about what you have learned this year?

Ask more questions, do more research before jumping into anything

2015

21. What new things do you want to try in 2015?

# Regular exercise

# Euro travel

# Better cooking

22. What or where do you want to see, discover, and explore in 2015?

I don’t think this one is applicable given the year’s planned schedule

23. What do you want to achieve career-wise?

Discipline and independence

24. What new skills do you want to learn, improve, and master?

# Cooking is important!

# And maybe see through the Urdu plan

25. What personal qualities or habits do you want to develop, cultivate, or strengthen?

# Assertiveness

# Discipline

26. Who do you want to spend more time with?

The family before I move

27. What do you want to "feel" most of the time in 2015 (happy, content, excited, relaxed, busy, productive, creative)?

Happy and productive

28. What do you want your day-to-day life to be like in 2015?

Relaxed breakfast. Decent office hours. Productive conversations at home. Date nights. Cookouts. Travel. Socializing.  

29. What do you want to completely get rid of in your life and in 2015 you will make it happen?

Nothing really

30. What is your number one goal in 2015 and how are you planning to achieve it?

Active lifestyle - hopefully with some consistent help

Roll the drums!

The way things are unfolding has been fun so far. We had one 'engagement' when he decided to go down his knee, western style. The traditional one follows later this month. Despite being a family affair, it has ended up being a full package with me having to book hair and make-up as well.

The first wedding is also happening later this month - legal style. The preparation for this one has been rather boring - ID cards, applications, witnesses, lawyers, etc. We're told it will be partly entertaining too. But I am more keen to lock in the dates for the actual wedding. Proudly enough, I utilised the recent holiday to do the rounds of all key stores in Delhi and select my lehenga. Yep, blood red, raw silk lehenga. :D It's booked! Don't ask for a picture, I forgot to click one. 

It's finally sinking in. 

Country Next: Six Things I’d Like to Do

After close to a year in a (not-so) new country, I feel there were some things that I used to do earlier but for some reason discontinued after moving base. There are also some new things I should possibly have done but never got around to doing. There are, of course, a number of reasons for this. The biggest one being that there was so much change to deal with that I never had much energy or interest to go beyond what I was already dealing with (good and bad). 

There will likely be even more new things in the next country I move to – fewer dosa joints to begin with - but I think it warrants some extra effort.

Socialise – When you’re alone in a city that has limited ‘cultural’ things to do, the only thing left to socialize over (well, almost) is drinks. So when you’re making an effort to cut that down, you invariably have to compromise on the socialising front as well. Of course, you can be that outgoing person who can talk to anyone about anything under the sun to overcome this challenge, but that isn’t quite me. *laughs*

Hopefully, things will change. I already have a number of people waiting for me to arrive (!). So I will at least have a starting point. And unlike here in the UAE, they are not two hours away from where I live.

Get Back on Twitter – You may want to club this with the first point itself, but I think this social socialising is of a different type. Being social on Twitter means being engaged with the local politics, markets, brands, activities, or other drama. Of course, you can rant endlessly about every minute of your life too, but that isn’t quite me. *laughs*

This past year, I could not keep up with things in India and there was never anything too interesting happening locally. Or maybe I couldn’t relate to things that were happening. I don’t know. But I want to change this. Twitter can be a lot of fun.

Save My Accent – I do not know how I will achieve this given how much my accent has already been influenced by the Americans around me. The thought that I can make it worse in the company of Brits is rather dreadful. 

Play – I gave this one a very genuine attempt this year, but my body tends not to support me in such endeavours. Hopefully, all the walking that I’ll have to do in the new place will help build up some stamina to play or dance or do something else that would stop the bones from getting too old too soon.

Learn - About the place, about its culture, about its nuances. Know the place like I know home. Be qualified to be the GPS (like in Delhi) there too. That should be the goal.

Document Life – 2014 was an eventful year, but I ended up writing the least this year. I would admit that I didn’t miss it much, but the fact that I don’t have anything much to go back and read about makes me sad. I’d rather do it than not. So Fuchsia, let’s take that word count up next year! 

Intolerance Comes Cheap

Through most part of this past year I have observed and been frustrated with huge amounts of baseless commentary about things that people do not seem to like or agree with. 

Today I read two small pieces online, both relevant to what irks me. The first one talked about how youth needs to be rebellious. That that is the only way to move the establishment and bring about change for the better. It made me think. At some level, I agree with the author. Status quo isn't the best. But rebellion is perhaps too strong a word. Our society's problem is not lack of rebellion. Its problem is rebels without a cause or direction. They don't know what they want. While it's always great to at least know what one doesn't want, when we're talking at a societal level that's not enough.      

The other thing that frustrates me is even more widespread. Everyone seems to be so intolerant of everything around them that it is almost suffocating. I am sure not all these people who complain can get a job done more effectively, be more productive, or simply be more accepted. Fine, if your tax money is being wasted by the government, you have the right to raise your voice. But if the old porter is taking a few extra moments to lug your bags, eff off! It's a simple example, but the problem is the same at every level. People have no respect whatsoever for others. Except for established super-rich super-achievers. I truly think people should take a moment to reflect on these words I came across before they go about their rants about others: "Question yourself as fiercely as you question society or others". It might just make the world a better place.

Mrs-to-be

Because I've heard it's life-changing, I suppose my life will change in a month when I sign the dotted line. 

Apparently the process is going to be dramatic. I am glad I've chosen him to experience the drama with. Why, you ask? Have you met him?

For the real wedding, because the law only means so much to a true Punjabi (ahem!), we'll see how it goes. For now, please keep the dhol ready and I'll let you know more once I have a date.