Have You Ever?

# Started competing with someone who is walking in the same direction as you are?
# Felt water splash on your feet while seeing some of it pouring close by?
# Decided not to do something and gone straight ahead against yourself?
# Waited for the right day to take a step only to realise that the right day passed you by?
# Felt that one stranger is nicer than the other one?

Climate Change

The past few weeks have been rather busy at work. Busy; and disillusioning too. And the situation had become such that I was beginning to stare into a complete burnout. The neck could not bear the strain. All my issues against the system came to the fore. The works. 

I declined an opportunity to get out of Delhi this weekend. Just because on Wednesday itself I had decided that I will be only sleeping these two days. I got that sleep, and pampered myself more too. First thing on Saturday was an appointment for a haircut at b:blunt. I had been looking for a stylist who could do short hair for several months. Somebody recommended these guys, I made a few phone calls, and a few more follow-up phone calls until I got this appointment. It was going to be my most expensive haircut ever. And I think they have done a decent job. Could have been better given the skill set, but I think I am satisfied. I wanted a new look, and we have a success at that. Happy.     

Without making much of an effort I got to meet Lynn in the evening. Ever since I stopped using the Metro's women's coach in the morning, we don't get to meet as often as we would like. So this was a nice catch-up session. 

I had committed for an early morning trip to Chandni Chowk for Sunday. And I kept my word. I had thought I would click a few photographs, but ultimately didn't. Nor did I eat anything. But I saw the sun rise. As always, nothing else mattered. It was perfect. 

Got back to get some more sleep, followed by a quick coffee (make that lemonade) with Robin, and then a visit to a spa. I had been thinking about it for a few days, but wasn't getting any worthwhile recommendations. I was at Green Park when 'Pure - Salon and Spa' flashed itself right in front of me. So I decided to give it a try. I signed up for a safe back massage given that I had no idea how the place is. They chose to give me a full experience at the same cost. I was only happy. It was nice and really relaxing. After the head massage, I suddenly felt I could hear many more sounds that I otherwise was oblivious too. Not the ones in my head. I liked it! And later figured that it is a chain of spas called Aura Thai Spa. 

During the busy week, I also managed to meet Ranjan, Udit, Prashant, Ruhi and Vrinda. And shop for formal shoes with a bow. Another first. 

Yes, still keenly waiting for people to commit for the Ladakh trip. Phew!

Source: Wikipedia

Now preparing for the morning class of yoga. Being patient with that too. *breathe*

____

On another note, I do not know if objectivity and having clarity is always a good thing or not. Fuzziness is so much more convenient at times. You do not need to convince your mind to process things that are grey. What is happening?

Not Happening!

Sometimes I feel I am so extremely old school that I may not be able to move ahead in this strange world, filled with people doing strange things. Not only can I not relate to these things, I feel disturbed. Something is seriously wrong. 

ལ་དྭགས་

I have begun planning for my Ladakh trip. Nervous. 

Vision

I think a lot.

These days I often think about men and waste my time getting anxious.

But when I start thinking about and planning my career, the rush I get is so much better than the anxiety. So what if this past week was my worst in this office. Loss, yes, it is. Start from scratch, I will again. But I still like my work. And I still will get where I have to. 

This Stage

So I am at a point where life revolves around the work that I do. All things exciting, boring, disappointing, and demanding are work-related. And I am enjoying it too. But the question, "so how is life beyond work?" leaves me with nothing to talk about. If the person across the table has no interest in how the government plays a rather important role in my client's life, I have nothing interesting to say. There is nothing I can make conversation about. Of course, I can talk about the people I spend close to 10 hours with every day, but if you do not know them, we are back to square one. And let me admit, more than not having anything else going on in life, it is the thought that nothing is going on that makes me slightly uncomfortable. It is peer pressure of a different kind. And since I love to take everything personally, I feel obliged (to myself) to ensure that I  am doing something new at regular intervals. And my not-so-lame list of "something new" for this first quarter looks like this:

# Went scuba diving

# Watched the beating retreat, live

# Started wearing contact lenses

# Wore heels to work every single day of February

# Started doing yoga

# Went for a (rather unfortunate) sufi concert at Humayun's Tomb

# Dressed up and looked good (per my standards) for a wedding that didn't directly matter :P

Next what I need is to see the Ladakh plan materialise. That is all. And of course, the 6:00 am yoga showing some results. That is all. Yeah. 

Notes to Self

Important to have opinions. But opinions that suit your audience. Not opinions that you believe in. Without exception!

Definition of "a people's person" is not what you always believed. Quite different.

Hold the words for that extra second, will help in the long run.

There is no such thing as greater good.

Nobody is on your side. You for yourself. Don't forget it, no matter how much time you spend with anyone.


I should begin a separate section on corporate learning. 

March Away

It's March, it feels like exam time year after year

It's March, it has the crap asthma weather

It's March, when I invariably get depressed

It's March, that indicates towards the loooong summer ahead

It's March, yes, I know the legs need to be waxed again

It's March, makes my skin cringe

It is March again, I feel low again, and there is no news that would lift the spirits.

Type X

I may not be old yet, but I am old enough to figure that people are not unique. There are no billion plus personalities. There are some very clear and valid personality types. People's behaviour has many common characteristics. Any given situation would have a similar reaction from every set of these similarly-wired people. I am happy as well as disappointed about this. Happy that it saves me energy insofar as I am not left guessing about people all the time. I can tell what reactions would come out of people. But it is unfortunate because, well, the universe of reactions is quite small. There are some standard things you can expect, and you invariably see them staring at you. It is so boringly disappointing. 

Block

Do words fail you when you are overwhelmed. Or do you get overwhelmed when the words don’t find a way out. 

Every Day

I am happy. I am anxious. I am at peace. I am irritable. I care. I ignore. I slog. I procrastinate. I smile. I snap. I aspire. I submit. I worry. I have faith. I blabber. I withdraw. Every day.

I have been floating. Drifting along, slightly unsure, mostly comfortable; in a self-created, small, protected universe. Every day.

Life overwhelms me on sleepy nights. The sun gives me energy to walk with my head high. People force me to learn lessons from their mistakes. This heart, it flutters without reason, without notice. Handling it is a demanding, full-time job. I have one other demanding, full-time job too. As of today, they consume all my time. And as of today, nothing else deserves my time either.