- A friend of 14 years is getting married.
- A friend with whom I once shared the concept of soulmate is getting married.
- A friend decided to get married but unfortunately the relationship ended right after she got engaged.
- A friend/classmate from a few years ago is also getting married.
- And so is another close friend.
It is not like I do not have friends who are already married. But they are all older than me. These are people my age. Women my age.
When I was younger, I used to think 24 is the perfect age for a girl like me to get married. These are all girls like me. But as you may have guessed, my thoughts have changed a tad bit. And I am under an unspoken pressure. Of a different kind.
First of all, today, I do not know a guy I would like to marry. I can force* myself to imagine maybe, but then I don't think he would be imagining as vividly as I would. Secondly, professionally, I am far from settled enough to think about getting married. And thirdly, unlike the situation that most of my female friends find themselves in, I have a strange pressure from extended family and relatives. Even from my dad. I am expected to be VP of an organisation or live & own property in Manhattan before I think about things like marriage. They get the idea from most of my female cousins. The average age at which they got married is 30. So in a way, maybe it's a good thing I am not dating anyone right now because if I went to my parents with the idea of a marriage, I would have to stamp the big L on my forehead myself.
Now, about my thoughts. You know that I want to be VP of an organisation by the time I am 30. There is no doubt about that. And I will get there. Almost beside the point. The point here is that I don't want to be single when that happens. Of course, going by how things move in life, I know I have no control over how life will unfold in the next six years. But this is my perfect world we are talking about tonight.
Some of you whom I may have befriended in the last 2-3 years may not know the romantic in me. You may have even heard me say that I am not romantic. I am aware of times I have said so on this blog too. There are many reasons, incidents, people that make me do that, but yes, I do not like admitting that I too imagine and visualise the perfect world. I may not fancy a typical knight in shining armour or a going-down-on-his-knees scene, or even a desi version of it, but let's just say there isn't no reason why I obsess about things like flowers so much. However, I am good with the pretence. Even that friend of 14 years believes I am more practical than anything else. Sometimes I wish at least there was someone who knew what I really thought. Although I guess that's asking for too much. And... I like being practical too. So what I really wish for is someone who knew when I like being romantic and when I like the practical me to take over.
And then there are these words that echo in my head everytime I let my mind drift in this direction. There was a man who was known to be extremely obnoxious by most people around him. I was one of them. But he had once said that as we grow older, our insecurities, skepticism, and things we are rigid about only increase. And that in turn is not a good thing for a woman who may have to 'adjust' to a lot of things when getting married. And as dry as that sounds to the rebels in us, I personally feel there's truth to it. What adds to my insecurities is the fact that I know as I am growing older, my cynicism and extreme opinions are going off limits. So while I do not want to get married tomorrow morning, I think I will have too much baggage to handle as years pass by. And Subhadip's 'selective progeria' never ceases to haunt every empty moment of my life.
For now, the good thing is that I already have a lot of wedding-y clothes. And I am ready to partayy!! :D
PS - If you are a guy freaking out because of these things that I am saying, I will let you stereotype the moment. But in case you want to date me, why don't you connect with me! :D
*Now you know I do not need to force myself. Some thoughts flow more smoothly because there is no sense to them.
9 comments:
Was smiling throughout the entire post =)
Just realised for an instant how similar we are, in certain ways. Just that I would have never braved up to write something like this.
*Pat on the back, Bhardwaj*
And yes, you will get there, and you will definitely not be single for long now... You're too hot for that =p
:)
Hehe... After hitting the publish button I felt this was too revealing. But then, 'what the heck' took over. :D
And about your hotness beliefs. I am still waiting for a nice guy to come up to me and say that. Or maybe express coyly. :P
Tu nahi baithegi Metro mein na?
Yes, to be honest, I was surprised (pleasantly) to read this one!
And main Metro me baithi. Woh bhi akele. And I loved it! I'm coming to see you, sometime this week, or latest this weekend. Tumlog toh mil liye, so my huge plans of 'sab saath me milenge' no longer exist. I'll just meet whoever I can :)
PS: 'What the heck' is quite nice! It should take over more often :D
Am happy you decided not to wait till 30. Its always good to tag along with somebody and cross bridges together.
But then it should not lead one to THE wrong guy. Girls decide spot on, if he is the ONE. But sometimes guys take forever and also turn back at the last moment.
You have all the time in the world to try and experiment, just dont take too long.
And also patiently convince ur mom, that its good if THE spouse writes ur acceptance speech on becoming a VP :)
Priyam,
Haan, aa jao! :)
'What the heck' should not take over any more frequently than this. :)
Dreamer,
:) Thanks for your words.
Hmm... personally, I feel one should not put a timeframe for things like marriage / being a VP - life is not really all about those things. We are human beings; we don't come with a "Sell by" date. We get to decide for ourselves what we want to do and when we want to do it.
Very sorry to hear that "selective progeria" haunts you. The funny thing is I don't even remember the context in which I made that comment - must be suffering from "selective amnesia"!
What you say makes sense, but I personally feel having a rough plan sort of gives a purpose to what I am doing in life.
:) Selective amnesia is alright. There are other more important things.
Subhadip is right..I always timed my life. I always thought I could control things the way I want..but Life has its own plans..
I can exactly feel what u wrote..it was almost as if it was my Life bare open for all to see.. albeit with certain changes..love happens ..when it isnt in ur priority list..when U r busy with Life..dont pay attention to it..It will come to you.it did for me..and SO will it,when U least expect it :)
Deepti,
I know there isn't much control I can have over such things in life. And I know you're right. What I wrote was just a view from a different perspective. That's all. :)
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