While coming back, sitting in his car made me feel I was in Delhi. I felt as if I had spent a long day out with friends and now one of them was going to drop me back home. I did not want to come back to the hostel. Not because I don't like it, but because I suddenly realised that the life I have given up is very different from the one that I am living now. I wanted to go back. I know there will hardly be anyone there to spend time with, but all memories of all the times spent with different friends came rushing back. I have been struggling with them for more than 24 hours now. I can't even cry because I know there is no point in it. I want to, but not a single tear is willing to drop. I don't know since when I got so practical about emotions! Maybe I should be thankful that I got to talk to Avan and Sumi today. But like I was telling Avan, I need someone to pamper me. I want attention. Special attention. And I know I will get none of it here. It isn't just management training that I have come here for. Literal 'alone' is happening. I need a break. Yes, already!
My ray of hope is the 15th August break. It is at the risk of a warning letter for not being on campus on a mandatory attendance day, but I'd rather take that happily than not be home at that time. Nidhi called too. Got some family updates from her. And how I wish tomorrow wasn't a Sunday! I will be moving from campus to city for a seminar in the 7:00 a.m. bus, and my family will call me at lunch only to remind me that they are all together at home. I am glad Ma doesn't tell me what she's made for lunch/dinner when I ask her. It is nice to not know. Selfish reassurances!
Finding it hard to break this chain of thoughts...
PS - My complexion has changed beyond belief. It's almost I have moved to the south. It's the hills' sun - piercing and sharp. The tan is just too much! :-/
6 comments:
Join the Alliance Against Yellow Food (AAYF). We are planning to make B&W wartime posters and stick them all over the place.
Cars do that to you. Take you back to the city of your existence, from one you seek things from.
At the risk of you not liking this comment, I got to write this:
YOU chose to go to pursue something away from home, and till the time you can buy or charter a personal aeroplane, you can't be with your family on Sundays and have lunch with them. Brooding over it won't help you an iota.
I may come across as too practical, but you see, I don't like me or my friends being sick. Especially homesick.
Give yourself some time to get used to everything. It hasn't been that long to not miss the homemade food and other things. Just don't keep thinking about it till then. This will only make it tougher for you to let it go. Really.
I choose to not talk about other things, but I'd just like to say that you should stop hoping for them to come along whenever you want them.
Treat yourself to a nice drink and tell yourself these two years should be memorable for you for more than one reason.
Wow!! I like the 'bronzed' look. :D
:) reminded me of old days...this post..calls from home saying that was for lunch and THIS is for dinnah :P
soon you shall get used to eet...
hmmm well enjoy and think over bohemian post :)
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