The Bride*

One final time – I got married. The final of all weddings. The one after which I left my parents’ house and changed my life to start a new life and so on. It’s been a month since that happened. I know it seems like I now only note monthly updates around the wedding but there’s just been so much change and so much action that I didn’t know when or what to start writing about. 

I miss being able to document the small details of life. It used to help build more vivid memories. The wedding process was exhausting but it was such a fun experience that I’d rather keep its memory alive in my mind than let it fade with time.

The overall process almost began as soon as we decided to get married, which was nearly a year ago, but the real drama truly began one week ahead of the wedding. That’s when I had officially wrapped up work and the groom had landed in town. I had gone to the airport with his parents to receive him and he took his time coming out. I should have taken that as a sign of the wait I’d have to do on the wedding day.

That day on, we had extended family, cousins and other guests arriving into Delhi almost every day. 

The same afternoon was a paath that Mom had organised with some neighbourhood religious group. It was delayed (as was everything else for the rest of the week), started out all right, and then suddenly I was called forward for a dance. That was not fun. I still played along for a bit. But those women didn’t seem to stop. Most other people in the room, including Mom, knew by then that I was losing it. Daksh’s mom was laughing because she could read my expressions a bit too well. And then I snapped at one of those random women. I had to. I mean, did she really think she could make me twirl for a stupid dance!

On to a different dance: Samridhi had been wanting to throw me a bachelorette for several months now. And after much discussion (as always), we finally went out partying on a Tuesday night. Now people (read: the husband) joked that my party was with cousins but the reality was that it was so much fun that he was actually jealous. Daksh came straight from the airport. Bhrigu laughed that all we needed to ease Daksh’s stag entry was him in three-fourths and chappals. Yeah, we don’t tend to plan too far in advance as a family. But it was a success, I was happy high, and these guys even bought me a dil-shaped balloon – well, I insisted – before we headed home.

I must note upfront that the wedding seemed to be the perfect extended event for selfies. I still cannot believe the number of selfies that emerged from that week of festivities. I guess I should just attribute it to the number of occasions people got to dress up or party or plain goof around, and leave it at that. No, it was mind boggling.

Just a sample

The other thing I must note is the number of people who travelled for the wedding. Some did it for me, some did it for my parents and some did it for an India experience. But it’s amazing how many of them did it and they surely made me feel special. Which brings me to the other point about feeling special. Now you know that as much as I enjoy attention in general, being at the centre of things is not quite my thing. So it sounded odd when people said things such as, “everyone will do what you want to do”, “we can do whatever you like”, and so on. In retrospect, I liked it. 

Coming back to the events. Chetak’s family was to come home to give my mehendi a day before I was scheduled to get it done. It was a small affair at home, followed by a dramatic evening at Nehru Place. I was originally scheduled to go to a salon to get some basic ‘pre-bridal’ things done but turned out there was finally a decision on my UK visa. So Bhaiya and I went, did a lot of waiting until I was finally handed my envelope. I had decided to keep it a surprise for Chetak and he clearly can be as bad as me at receiving them. The initial reaction from clueless him was quite dull.

By the time we started our return it was nearly 8 pm. I still decided to go to the salon and get at least some work done. The next day of Mehendi was going to be long. 

It started with Samridhi driving me to the airport to receive the Abu Dhabi folks. From there we went to get me a facial which was one of the most magical experiences ever. Yes, I have got facials done before but this one was just brilliant. I was suddenly looking three times better.

Early afternoon was chaotic with the whole family and all the guests moving to the hotel where most of the functions were. Enter calmness: Ruhi Jhunjhunwala. Thing were smooth thereon. 

I had decided to get my mehendi done in the afternoon so I could enjoy the evening more comfortably. So by the time people had lunch and lazed, I got ready for all the dancing.

:D

I found Reema, my makeup artist by chance but she was the most brilliant part of the wedding. She knew exactly what I wanted (or didn’t want) and what would look good on me. Importantly, she had the patience to bear with my indecisive tantrums AND she respected my wishes even when she didn’t agree with me. Her husband, Elvis gave the perfect inputs when she and I couldn’t decide  something. I loved them both!

I wasn’t prepared for all the compliments I received that evening. It was exciting. The event itself was a relatively small affair – everyone seemed to enjoy a lot. I hear the wine went out of stock that evening. But energy levels remained high through all the dhol, DJ and dholak moments of the night. And it was my favourite of the lot as well.

The next day was relaxed (mostly). The Sangeet was scheduled for the evening. We got a little late in getting to the venue and I waited in a little room with some of the friends and cousins while the initial sagan ceremonies went on outside. Before that, Chetak and I did a final rehearsal of our dance. Yes, I never thought I’d do it, but I did dance at my own wedding. In front of all those guests. It didn’t matter much because I don’t even know who all except my close family and friends were at the event. I vaguely remember everyone cheering us on – the video certainly helped me live that moment better. 

All the dances put together by both families were super fun as well. While Chetak’s side had been rehearsing for nearly a month, my lovelies pulled it all together in the final 2-3 days. Bhaiya actually did his bit on the afternoon of the performance. I somehow always knew that that’s how it would ultimately be, but I anyway made a WHOLE lot of effort to bring people together a few weeks in advance. Data doesn’t cost much, does it?

Meet the boss. The family underdog. 

Let's take a moment for this other lady who's special for a number of reasons. For the nth time, she gets me. And she is bloody darn good at reading subliminal messages as well. So she seemed to be on auto pilot (I'm sure she wasn't and it took a lot of work) but I didn't have to say ANYTHING to her. She knew when she needed to pack her bags and get her ass over, when she needed to stuff food in my face and just about when she had to filter things coming my way.

Wedding day was a pain for the most part. Mom had spent early morning in the hospital. Random aunts were checking me for random things. I had developed an eye infection and a pimple. I was sleep deprived and basically grumpy. I didn’t want to spend another three hours in the salon. And I actually did message Chetak that I’d rather skip that evening than go through the entire process.

However, the haldi was a lot of fun. The chooda process gave me a painful enough injury on the right hand. I still have a scar. Reema made me look good so I was happy for a bit again. When I reached the venue I got loosies. Getting out and back into the lehenga multiple times wasn’t fun. And because there’s always gotta be a cherry on top – just when I were to walk out to the stage, my lehenga’s zip gave up. So then three people hustled for pins to pull that three kg thing together. Yes, I was very thankful they were there. If I were alone, I would have probably walked out without bothering about any of it.

Monica being a bit artsy

Just because.

All the smiling we had to do for pictures was literally painful. I think I was just glad someone was doing it with me. Our jaws ached. And I remember I couldn’t stop smiling even when I wanted to – the muscles froze!

Throughout that day I was going around asking everyone if pandit ji had been briefed. Nobody gave me a real answer. I’m all for traditions but was in NO MOOD to sit through an entire night of gyaan – even if it was probably the most important ever. Luck favoured me – I think he was in no mood himself. He wrapped it all up in a little over an hour. 

Vidaai was uneventful. I didn’t cry. I was completely prepared for it to happen, but experienced folks were right when they said it was all about the moment. I am glad there was no drama. 

It took us a few days of more small ceremonies and formalities before Chetak and I felt normal again. Honestly, I only felt completely normal after moving to London. Yes, I know that sounds odd but the first week of married life with family-in-law can only be limited-normal.

Stay tuned for more. 

*On a slow afternoon during my final week at work, I had drafted a welcome note and an itinerary for all my friends who were coming from outside of Delhi. Different matter that I never ended up handing it to anyone but I had signed off on it as ‘The Bride’. Of course, I clarified that I did it because I’d never get to do it again (hopefully) and it was a thrill completely worth it. 

Pictures courtesy: Friends, family and Monica Moghe