Year in Review: Part V

And here is the final list of 2015 highlights - some things new and some things old:

~ It was established that I absolutely love weddings, especially our desi Bollywood-y ones
~ I printed and framed photos for my new home
~ Did a special photo shoot and created a photo book from it for a friend’s farewell
~ Attended networking events
~ Did a lot of walking
~ Desperately approached random people for help
~ Started living in constant fear
~ Felt jealous
~ Met a lot of new people
~ Crushed candies and rescued pets
~ Watched British stand-up comedy and didn’t get much of it
~ Lived through London’s pissing-off pissy rain
~ Again had an injury that nobody could decode and had several funny diagnosis for it
~ Completed seven years with my Canon
~ Completed nine years with my blog, Fuchsia

Year in Review: Part IV

Here's some more new experiences from 2015:

~ Started running
~ Slept more than I did in the last five years
~ Got married
~ Received a lot of gifts
~ Put together a coffee table book of my travel experiences
~ Got added to eight new permanent Whatsapp groups
~ Of course I put all my Whatsapp groups on mute
~ Saw graffiti in Berlin
~ Saw horses running in open fields
~ Watched a classic at an open air theatre
~ Bought clothes for friends’ new-born babies
~ Bought plants for home but most of them died
~ Then Priyam sent another plant on my birthday and it’s doing well so far
~ Lost my nani
~ Struggled on the career front like never before

Year in Review: Part III

OF NEW EXPERIENCES...

~ Watched the brilliance that was the musicals, Matilda and Wicked
~ Kissed under the glittering Eiffel Tower
~ Did salsa in a pub with more than a handful of onlookers
~ Became a Monopoly pro!
~ Experienced the autumn colours
~ Made my first real make-up buy
~ Bought a real winter jacket
~ Got active on Instagram
~ Watched cabaret in Paris
~ Stayed up all night to click the red moon
~ Sat on a tram
~ Had my first serious experience of jet lag
~ Spotted jelly fish
~ Started living with someone who ensures I always have fresh flowers at home

Year in Review - Part II

FOOD & DRINKS

~ Became a Sarvana Bhavan regular

~ Made dosas with coconut chutney and sambhar at home and they were GOOD!

~ Made papayas a regular component of my diet

~ Ate at a Georgian restaurant

~ Tried a new drink called Ginja

~ Also had Champagne IN Champagne

~ I fasted. 

~ I partied

~ Had a short phase of desi-style do-at-home corn cob addiction

~ Cooked for and hosted more than 15 people at home

~ Ate a lot of crepes

~ Attended many a gatherings of wine & cheese

~ I tried another new drink – the porn star martini!

~ Went cheese-tasting

~ Had an authentic Palestinian meal with a Palestinian family

~ Had the afternoon tea experience in true British style

2015

I usually do a recap of the year every December. But since I haven’t written much this year, this recap is really going to be about me trying hard to recall the details – big and small – before they fade with memory. 

Since it’s a long list and since the blog post number has been so low this year, I shall break the post into a few parts. 

Here goes the year in review, part I:

PLACES
~ I moved from Abu Dhabi to New Delhi to London

~ Stayed at a super luxury hotel and found it utterly underwhelming

~ Visited a lavender farm that looked and smelled like a dream 

~ Travelled first class 

~ Travelled low cost 

~ Got bumped up to Etihad's business class on my final flight out of Abu Dhabi

~ Got an unexpected five year Schengen visa

~ I visited Berlin 

~ Then I visited Paris

~ And then I went to Portugal

~ Visited a museum of natural history and saw the T.Rex! 

~ Visited the Guggenheim museum

~ Chose not to visit the Louvre 

~ Visited Cambridge

~ Booked tickets to Scotland but couldn’t go

~ Booked two trips for 2016

Part II to follow...

Moments from New Delhi

Sometimes there are moments that I feel I am unable to share with anyone. Like how I felt when I visited my nani’s house a few days ago. Or when people talked to me about things that happened around her funeral. It was hard to swallow through those moments that felt like a lifetime. Sure there are many of us who were related to her by blood, but everyone’s relationship was unique and I never got the opportunity to say goodbye or mourn with everyone else. I blocked out tears through all of it. Yes, I would always choose that over being emotionally awkward, especially when nobody is expecting it. 

___

Mom and Dad had started preparing for my visit several weeks in advance. They asked me to send them my list of things to buy in India over Whatsapp so that they could keep everything ready before I landed. The smallest thing that I mentioned while being there was taken seriously and provided for. Somehow Dad also wanted to help me pack for my return trip. He has always considered it his speciality. Yes, packing. And he did do it while I was away meeting friends. I was not comfortable with what he had done (simply because I like to know what’s going in which bag) so I told him we will repack. And he did it again based on some 2-3 random things I mentioned. AGAIN in my absence. If this had happened even five years ago I would most definitely have thrown a fit. But this time it was plain endearing. 

___

It was a hectic trip. A lot of festivals, occasions, people and expectations. I aimed to do my best at meeting the maximum number of friends. Somehow, Avan was not available till the last day. Actually it is not surprising, but that’s how it was. But despite both of us being ill, we met and spoke and bitched to no end. It was amazing as always. My life truly is incomplete without her.

___

I ♥ weddings. Make that I ♥ Delhi, Punjabi weddings’ sangeet evenings. I never realised my love for Bollywood till my perfectly normal husband pointed it out. We had planned this trip such that we could partially attend two close friends’ weddings. One of these was the sangeet of a guy I’ve spoken to once. But nobody at the event would have been able to tell given how I was rooting while the families danced and took to the dance floor when my songs played. Begaani shaadi mein Abdullah deewana. That was me. The only saving grace – I was at least invited. Of course, Chetak compensated by virtue of having been the groom’s college friend AND flatmate in London for three whole years.

___

I have never spent Diwali away from home. Whether I was in Pune or Abu Dhabi, even if for two days, I always went back for my favourite festival. So I was quite happy knowing that even though I am in London now, we were able to plan our trip so that Diwali was in Delhi. And I did not feel any difference until the day of the festival; when I was at parents’ home only for a few hours. Diwali was at home, but it wasn’t at the home I grew up in. I still had family around, I still had all the mithai in the world, I still breathed in the heavily polluted air, the crackers still went off till wee hours of the next morning, but it wasn’t the same. 

___

This time Delhi was fairly warm by late November standards. But I managed to experience my favourite, heady feeling that comes with the elaichi-like smell in the air at this time of the year. It is definitely one of the top three feelings in the world for me. Without a doubt.

♥ Delhi. Food. Cousins. Friends. Favourite restaurants. Movie nights. Card party. More food. More people. Delhi. ♥

Einer Reise Nach Berlin

Schwarzfahren. German for riding without a ticket. How did I learn this word? My host in Berlin confidently recommended going ‘schwarzfahren’ on my first evening in the city (not validating the day pass I’d just bought) because its tube network does not have any turnstiles and apparently tickets are rarely checked – especially after peak hours. And so I thrillingly ‘rode black’ two stations for one of the cheapest good meals I’ve had ever since I left India. We paid some five odd euros for two large slices of pizza. That’s almost £3.5! I get nothing better than a cold Tesco sandwich for that kind of money. Certainly not a fresh, warm, oozing-with-cheese pizza. That day I realised that London is actually quite expensive. But then so is the UAE because prices are fairly comparable between the two. Or maybe it’s just Berlin which is amazingly affordable. I am told the rent there is also quite incredibly low.

U-bahn, the underground

I always knew that Germany is not one of the English-friendly countries but I never imagined things could be unsettlingly difficult to decode. The first taxi ride in the city - from the airport - lasted about 20 minutes and I did not spot even five words of English anywhere. The driver didn’t speak any English either and within the first 30 seconds we were down to good ol’ hand gesturing  to communicate. 

English! :D

Google was obviously the biggest help for navigating routes but it failed me, dramatically enough, when it stopped at giving S-bahn numbers without telling me which platforms to find my trains at. It doesn’t sound like a big deal – how many platforms would a standard local city station have, you’d ask. I happened to be at Hauptbahnhof, one of the biggest stations I’ve ever seen, the first time that I got lost. It has U-bahn (underground), S-bahn (street level), intercity and inter-country trains running every second. It also has the best veggie McDonald’s burger outside of India but I’ll come back to that later. When I had that burger I was somewhere between trying to miraculously decode German signage and giving up any hope of getting to my destination. The station literally had nothing in English except details of the train that went to the airport (thoughtful). The only other familiar word was Budapest – I spotted it on a train that I definitely didn’t want to take. After about 25-30 minutes of going up and down three levels I finally figured that the only way to get anywhere in the city is to ask a real person. Most of them know ‘a little bit’ of English. It’s usually enough to combine with what Google says about finding something. 

Hauptbahnhof - at the platform it took me forever to find

During one of the walks when I was lost

The other highlight of this language barrier was my interaction with a nurse at a hospital that I was visiting. T had been away for his surgery a little too long. So I went to enquire at the nurses’ station on his side of the floor. Again, little to no English. 

“Urologi?”

“Erm…kidney...kidney procedure”

“Urologi? Friend? Urologi?” (this time with hands gesturing all over the organ system)

Clearly this wasn’t working. We moved straight to finding his name in the system. And after about 5-7 minutes of exchanging confused looks and words incomprehensible for the other, she told me he was still away for his operation. Not the most helpful outcome, but the lady was way more patient and polite than I expected. By Indian AND by London standards.

When I wasn’t at the hospital I was busy checking off tourist-y spots in the city. I think I managed to cover a fair deal even though the afternoon heat was quite draining. The Berlin Wall Memorial was like ghar ki murgi because it was next door to where I was staying. I passed by it every time I stepped out so didn’t care much to spend time there. The East Side Gallery (that’s where I wanted to go from Hauptbahnhof) blew my mind! From a distance it looked like a regular wall with some graffiti. But every mural on this long wall spoke volumes about the skill and thought that must have gone into it. I obviously went crazy with my camera. The river, Spree that passes along the wall was a nice addition to the otherwise ordinary area. T had told me I wouldn’t spend more than 30-45 minutes there, but I ended up being there for nearly two hours and left only because it got a little late in the night. In any case finding the right public transport seemed to take longer than the actual rides.

The next day I started with a walk around Gendarmenmarkt, Franz Friedrichstadtkirche and Konzerthaus Berlin. It’s basically a neoclassical square in central Berlin with a royal (can I use that term to reference things outside the UK?) concert hall along with French and German cathedrals on either side. The historic structures were bombed during World War II but they were rebuilt and stand tall today in all their imposing glory. 

Gendarmenmarkt Square - The first time that I used the panorama feature on my phone 

I also visited what is known to be one of Berlin’s best chocolatiers, Fassbender & Rausch. The store was admittedly mind-boggling. Everything was made of chocolate – from huge landmark buildings to the city’s mascot to a million different flavours of truffles and pralines and chocolate bars – it was crazy! It felt like a got a sugar rush just by looking at all the chocolate. I got a pack of 12 different chocolates for home but I have to say they were nothing better than ordinary. Each flavour, each chocolate let me down. Gah.

THIS IS CHOCOLATE! :O

And this too!

After a long pit stop for food, drinks and hope for the sun to take it easy, I started towards the Brandenburg Gate and the German parliament building, Reichstag. The Reichstag was impressive. Well, I do have a weakness for perfectly symmetrical buildings and this one didn’t fail to amaze either.

Saw that chocolate figure on top? Here's the real one in selfie mode. Perils of travelling alone. 

When Fanta was a different orange!

The other thing that was extremely fascinating was the Ampelmann. Initially I thought it was just me spotting the cuteness in the city’s pedestrian stop lights. But soon I figured that it has a long history from before the integration of East and West Germany. They have dedicated Ampelmann stores with all kinds of merchandise that you can imagine. I didn’t particularly like anything to buy at that point, but in retrospect, I want an Ampelmann souvenir. Just look at it! How often do you see any character in such mundane things?

I didn’t spend much time in Berlin but I definitely think the city has a lot of character. It’s not one of those cities that I can imagine falling instantly in love with; everything about it grew on me gradually. The streets, the people, the music, the history – all very subtle, but charming nonetheless. I am sure it’s a completely different experience for someone who knows the language, but for a couple of days one can make do with getting lost and exploring Berlin at leisure.

Oh, and the city has a mascot which reflects nothing of its history or culture. Or maybe it does. The Berlin Bear is all over the city in various forms and colours. Here's one in all its chocolatey glory!

PS: Berlin’s city airport, Tegel is so small and so well located that I can never imagine anyone missing a flight from there. Hurry up and experience it before they close it down for the new one that’s on its way.

Moving Along

“What's changed in the past year?” Shreya asked me with seemingly genuine interest. 

In the last 18 months, my whole life has changed. I moved from Delhi to Abu Dhabi at what was probably the tipping point of my career. I shifted into a professional environment that was remarkably different from what I was used to. I liked parts of it but a few people managed to make me hate it by the end. I hated them, I hated what they made me do, and I hated what they did to me. They shattered my confidence in my ability to perform. One can take it as a lesson and motivation to do better. But not when you have plans to move to what is probably the world’s most competitive market. London.

I had a long, extended courtship – London thumakda, if you will – period with my husband who is settled in the city. I first visited him in London last summer. The city and its vibrancy won me over. During the same trip we agreed to break the news to our parents. The force that be was kind through that process. It went well and we were looking at a civil registration in December. During that period we visited Istanbul together. It was a dreamy trip with a perfect proposal by the Bosphorous. Don’t try and keep track of the sequence of events. We did first tell the parents, followed by a formal proposal, then a wedding, then an engagement party, and then finally another wedding ceremony. Yup.

By the end of 2014, the year I first stepped out of India, I had visited Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Muscat, London and Istanbul; along with some amazing countryside in the respective countries. This sounds fancy enough to the person that I was when I was based in Delhi. But to the person living this life, it felt normal. The UAE has very little for a traveller, especially in comparison to India. It compels you to cross international borders. Well, I won’t deny that it also pays you enough to be able to do that.

The opportunity to live alone came at a time when I was about as ready as I could have been for it. I wanted to do it much sooner in life, but in retrospect, I don’t think I would have been able to handle it. I cooked. I lazed. I shopped. I gazed. And Skype was undeniably an important part of life. I felt at peace in my cosy studio by the sea. But I had withdrawal symptoms every time a visitor left. Knowing that I controlled the expiry date on that life comforted me more than I credit it for. 

Wrapping up in Abu Dhabi was painful. Formalities to cancel the visa, electricity and Internet connections, home lease, credit cards and bank account, along with shipping luggage home, remitting money home and work handovers were draining. Running in parallel was the process of applying for the UK visa, which I’m told is one of the hardest in the world. It took several months to put together the documents required for the application. Also in parallel was the politics of returning to and being in the home country office for a short period. The ugly side of the organisation I loved and still respect was at play. And the remaining time during that same period was used to plan my wedding. The wedding I never dreamed or planned anything for while growing up. I’d never done it not because it didn’t interest me but because I feared never finding someone I could marry. 

Wedding days were fun and exhausting, as expected. The days following it were anxious and awkward, as expected. And then I arrived in London.

I left behind family, friends, a career and an independent life to come to this dream city with the man most perfect for me. 

It’s been a little over three months here. I’m pampered a great deal. We’re learning to adjust to each other’s ways. Some of his friends have been warmer than I expected. Trying to find a job I’d like is challenging. I knew it would be so when I first decided to move here. But living a challenge is different from knowing about it.

Not working and earning often gnaws at me. I sometimes feel I don’t deserve the life I’m living because I didn’t earn my way here. But when I consider things emotionally, I think I paid enough dues before reaching here. Some kind of a balance, I presume (?).  

Mister wanted to show me Paris and we made visa appointments and travel bookings for a long weekend that fell exactly between his birthday and mine. I’ll write about that and the unplanned trip to Berlin separately. This is not how I expected to see Europe. But I cannot complain either. 

Through this time, I’ve lost some people to time, circumstances and age. It’s not easy being so far away from so many people who matter. It’s not easy accepting happiness on the back of time that showed what darkness is like. 

But I am trying to accept and to earnestly live the life I have chosen and the choices I have made. 

Indian in Britain – Independence Day 2015

I woke up questioning my ‘Indian millennial’ self if it is justified for me to be a resident of the United Kingdom. The country India bled out to not very long ago. Fitting question for my first Independence Day here, isn’t it?

One can argue that it is perfectly okay for a millennial – never saw the struggle, nobody cares about it in this time, and we have different issues to bother about as Indians, not who colonised the country in the previous century. 

Or one can let it gnaw at that idea loosely developed during teenage that I’d never want to live here given all the history and so on. It forced me to think beyond my recent London thumakda moments.

So where am I? Post-colonial Britain? Debatable. Anti-colonial society? Maybe. I cannot claim to have learned much about the country in my less-than-three-months here. But I have definitely observed some things that make me believe that the state isn’t necessarily representative of the people even in a democracy. Sounds familiar?

Normal people. Bothered by weather. Rushing to work. Enjoying their food and drinks. Travelling on weekends. Paying a LOT of tax money. 

Standard government. Political battles. Trivial matters. Troubled borders. Vague international positions. 

Of course, one does have better infrastructure here than in India. But that doesn’t mean that public transport doesn’t go on strike or public places don’t leak after heavy rain or streets aren’t littered. It’s the same.  

It’s a Conservative government. The issues are different, but the fundamentals are the same. 

So, what if I extrapolate this scenario to the 19th and early 20th century? I admit I have not read any literature on English people’s sentiments on colonialism but I want to infer that not everyone would have been in favour of what the government did. Just like today. Just like in India. And it is really the people I’m living with now – not the government. 

And I can ignore Churchill’s statues. Just like Mayawati’s. 

Happy Independence Day!

PS - I will not pay to go see the crown jewels. Those are ours. 

To Another Seven Years!

Early afternoon was chaotic….Enter calmness: Ruhi Jhunjhunwala. Thing were smooth thereon.

I consider myself lucky for the friends I have, especially the ones whom I’ve managed to keep beyond a ‘relevant social context’. Miss Jhunjhunwala is one of them. She and I think and feel alike, our reactions to difficult situations as well as movie characters are the same, and we often (used to) end up liking the same guys as well. I couldn't find a Jai Singh Rathore. Now I hope she does. 

She’s been the calming influence on my life for many years now and she’s been my fun-unlimited appletini partner for just as long. She introduced me to that god-awesome green apple martini at Terttulia, Pune back in the day and we continue to have at least one of those drinks at every opportunity we get. 

Post-party trip to Panchgani

She was one of my anchors through the crappiest times in Pune and the period that followed, she experienced Ladakh with me, she made extra effort to visit me in Abu Dhabi, and she made herself 100 per cent available for me at my wedding.

She had offered long distance help as well, but that was difficult for me to work with. So we decided she’d take charge once she arrives in Delhi. And she did it right from zero hour. She ensured the mehendi walas were doing what I had agreed to pay them for, she fed me while my hands were busy, she scratched my face, fixed my hair and did the entire drill through that tiring afternoon of the mehendi.

Each day she was there to ensure that my makeup was right. Her opinion on the hair mattered, and so did her vote on vetoing various lip colour options. 

And in parallel she managed to get her hair too :P

She also managed the gold jewellery when Mom had her hands full. She coordinated with family, cousins, friends, driver, photographer, hotel staff and the whole world (it seemed) on my behalf through those three days. Heck, she even organised the cash properly in my wallet! I hadn’t done it in weeks and it meant a great deal at that point when I was least expecting it.

She lugged my clothes and bags around for me. She dealt with my tantrums with ease and responsibly managed my things till even after I left with Chetak. 

She stepped in when I was beginning to feel that I cannot reasonably ask anyone to give me that level of undivided attention. Everyone had something else to attend to. I am sure she did too, but she made an exception. For me. I hope she had the time to have fun too.

A small part of me also wished I could join her in the Himalayas after the wedding, but that was just a wish at that point.

I am proud of her for finally getting her nose pierced before she left Delhi.

Now she can sing 'mera laung gawacha' more legitimately!

And I am waiting to celebrate her 30th in style. Open skies and the mountains await. 

Till then, remembering the year of the 27th!

The Bride*

One final time – I got married. The final of all weddings. The one after which I left my parents’ house and changed my life to start a new life and so on. It’s been a month since that happened. I know it seems like I now only note monthly updates around the wedding but there’s just been so much change and so much action that I didn’t know when or what to start writing about. 

I miss being able to document the small details of life. It used to help build more vivid memories. The wedding process was exhausting but it was such a fun experience that I’d rather keep its memory alive in my mind than let it fade with time.

The overall process almost began as soon as we decided to get married, which was nearly a year ago, but the real drama truly began one week ahead of the wedding. That’s when I had officially wrapped up work and the groom had landed in town. I had gone to the airport with his parents to receive him and he took his time coming out. I should have taken that as a sign of the wait I’d have to do on the wedding day.

That day on, we had extended family, cousins and other guests arriving into Delhi almost every day. 

The same afternoon was a paath that Mom had organised with some neighbourhood religious group. It was delayed (as was everything else for the rest of the week), started out all right, and then suddenly I was called forward for a dance. That was not fun. I still played along for a bit. But those women didn’t seem to stop. Most other people in the room, including Mom, knew by then that I was losing it. Daksh’s mom was laughing because she could read my expressions a bit too well. And then I snapped at one of those random women. I had to. I mean, did she really think she could make me twirl for a stupid dance!

On to a different dance: Samridhi had been wanting to throw me a bachelorette for several months now. And after much discussion (as always), we finally went out partying on a Tuesday night. Now people (read: the husband) joked that my party was with cousins but the reality was that it was so much fun that he was actually jealous. Daksh came straight from the airport. Bhrigu laughed that all we needed to ease Daksh’s stag entry was him in three-fourths and chappals. Yeah, we don’t tend to plan too far in advance as a family. But it was a success, I was happy high, and these guys even bought me a dil-shaped balloon – well, I insisted – before we headed home.

I must note upfront that the wedding seemed to be the perfect extended event for selfies. I still cannot believe the number of selfies that emerged from that week of festivities. I guess I should just attribute it to the number of occasions people got to dress up or party or plain goof around, and leave it at that. No, it was mind boggling.

Just a sample

The other thing I must note is the number of people who travelled for the wedding. Some did it for me, some did it for my parents and some did it for an India experience. But it’s amazing how many of them did it and they surely made me feel special. Which brings me to the other point about feeling special. Now you know that as much as I enjoy attention in general, being at the centre of things is not quite my thing. So it sounded odd when people said things such as, “everyone will do what you want to do”, “we can do whatever you like”, and so on. In retrospect, I liked it. 

Coming back to the events. Chetak’s family was to come home to give my mehendi a day before I was scheduled to get it done. It was a small affair at home, followed by a dramatic evening at Nehru Place. I was originally scheduled to go to a salon to get some basic ‘pre-bridal’ things done but turned out there was finally a decision on my UK visa. So Bhaiya and I went, did a lot of waiting until I was finally handed my envelope. I had decided to keep it a surprise for Chetak and he clearly can be as bad as me at receiving them. The initial reaction from clueless him was quite dull.

By the time we started our return it was nearly 8 pm. I still decided to go to the salon and get at least some work done. The next day of Mehendi was going to be long. 

It started with Samridhi driving me to the airport to receive the Abu Dhabi folks. From there we went to get me a facial which was one of the most magical experiences ever. Yes, I have got facials done before but this one was just brilliant. I was suddenly looking three times better.

Early afternoon was chaotic with the whole family and all the guests moving to the hotel where most of the functions were. Enter calmness: Ruhi Jhunjhunwala. Thing were smooth thereon. 

I had decided to get my mehendi done in the afternoon so I could enjoy the evening more comfortably. So by the time people had lunch and lazed, I got ready for all the dancing.

:D

I found Reema, my makeup artist by chance but she was the most brilliant part of the wedding. She knew exactly what I wanted (or didn’t want) and what would look good on me. Importantly, she had the patience to bear with my indecisive tantrums AND she respected my wishes even when she didn’t agree with me. Her husband, Elvis gave the perfect inputs when she and I couldn’t decide  something. I loved them both!

I wasn’t prepared for all the compliments I received that evening. It was exciting. The event itself was a relatively small affair – everyone seemed to enjoy a lot. I hear the wine went out of stock that evening. But energy levels remained high through all the dhol, DJ and dholak moments of the night. And it was my favourite of the lot as well.

The next day was relaxed (mostly). The Sangeet was scheduled for the evening. We got a little late in getting to the venue and I waited in a little room with some of the friends and cousins while the initial sagan ceremonies went on outside. Before that, Chetak and I did a final rehearsal of our dance. Yes, I never thought I’d do it, but I did dance at my own wedding. In front of all those guests. It didn’t matter much because I don’t even know who all except my close family and friends were at the event. I vaguely remember everyone cheering us on – the video certainly helped me live that moment better. 

All the dances put together by both families were super fun as well. While Chetak’s side had been rehearsing for nearly a month, my lovelies pulled it all together in the final 2-3 days. Bhaiya actually did his bit on the afternoon of the performance. I somehow always knew that that’s how it would ultimately be, but I anyway made a WHOLE lot of effort to bring people together a few weeks in advance. Data doesn’t cost much, does it?

Meet the boss. The family underdog. 

Let's take a moment for this other lady who's special for a number of reasons. For the nth time, she gets me. And she is bloody darn good at reading subliminal messages as well. So she seemed to be on auto pilot (I'm sure she wasn't and it took a lot of work) but I didn't have to say ANYTHING to her. She knew when she needed to pack her bags and get her ass over, when she needed to stuff food in my face and just about when she had to filter things coming my way.

Wedding day was a pain for the most part. Mom had spent early morning in the hospital. Random aunts were checking me for random things. I had developed an eye infection and a pimple. I was sleep deprived and basically grumpy. I didn’t want to spend another three hours in the salon. And I actually did message Chetak that I’d rather skip that evening than go through the entire process.

However, the haldi was a lot of fun. The chooda process gave me a painful enough injury on the right hand. I still have a scar. Reema made me look good so I was happy for a bit again. When I reached the venue I got loosies. Getting out and back into the lehenga multiple times wasn’t fun. And because there’s always gotta be a cherry on top – just when I were to walk out to the stage, my lehenga’s zip gave up. So then three people hustled for pins to pull that three kg thing together. Yes, I was very thankful they were there. If I were alone, I would have probably walked out without bothering about any of it.

Monica being a bit artsy

Just because.

All the smiling we had to do for pictures was literally painful. I think I was just glad someone was doing it with me. Our jaws ached. And I remember I couldn’t stop smiling even when I wanted to – the muscles froze!

Throughout that day I was going around asking everyone if pandit ji had been briefed. Nobody gave me a real answer. I’m all for traditions but was in NO MOOD to sit through an entire night of gyaan – even if it was probably the most important ever. Luck favoured me – I think he was in no mood himself. He wrapped it all up in a little over an hour. 

Vidaai was uneventful. I didn’t cry. I was completely prepared for it to happen, but experienced folks were right when they said it was all about the moment. I am glad there was no drama. 

It took us a few days of more small ceremonies and formalities before Chetak and I felt normal again. Honestly, I only felt completely normal after moving to London. Yes, I know that sounds odd but the first week of married life with family-in-law can only be limited-normal.

Stay tuned for more. 

*On a slow afternoon during my final week at work, I had drafted a welcome note and an itinerary for all my friends who were coming from outside of Delhi. Different matter that I never ended up handing it to anyone but I had signed off on it as ‘The Bride’. Of course, I clarified that I did it because I’d never get to do it again (hopefully) and it was a thrill completely worth it. 

Pictures courtesy: Friends, family and Monica Moghe