Five Weeks...

...since the 'off load' joke was played on me at the Delhi airport before letting me board.

The new bank here gave me a free credit card. Two of them. My firsts. I thought I would not use them but I discovered that I cannot make online purchases with my debit card. So I was forced to use one today. I chose the gold one. Something about it was fancier even though its credit limit is lower.

Before this I never got a credit card because I neither trusted myself nor the banks. I am halfway down 27 and I know people start using these cards much sooner, but I think this is a good time. After all, the first purchase wasn’t a dress or a bag – it was registration for a colo(u)r run. I missed playing holi at home, but am hoping to compensate myself with this! Going beyond an endless search for a Chappan Bhog outlet that sold gujiya on holi!

Thoughts about the age and stage of life often cross my mind these days. Would I have been able to manage this independence responsibly 5-6 years ago? I doubt it. I would have confidently denied this fact then, but I know better now. Or so one always says about the past. 

You will have to take my word though when I will tell you that I know McDonald’s does not qualify for a meal even when you are starving, even though they call their food a ‘meal’. Was I this discerning earlier? Disagree.

In my personal life, I am again slipping. I am aware. But happiness clouds reason, doesn’t it? The reason which makes for ‘funny’ memes and corny posters. Like this.

I talk at length. I cry with ease. I save memorabilia. I depend. I am becoming who I chose to stop being long ago. 

He talks of children. 

I am scared to step out of my uncomfortable, dark world.

The career, which has led to all the newness is hitting a roadblock. A real one. One which will blow up soon. I can see it coming. I feel like my feet are freezing right when I should be warming up to run. Hoping a little. Denying a little.

On a different note, I never thought I could get to doing this myself.

Or live on my own by the sea and have dinners next to Burj Khalifa.