Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Blues & Yellows

I was in Pondicherry this last weekend. Work took me there. And I am going to try not to use the word 'work' hereafter. However, I must mention that it is another one of those places where work took me and I otherwise would personally not have visited anytime soon because it's way too far and way too small to make a special plan for.

I had very little time there, but I think I managed just about fine. The resort where I was for most part, Le Pondy, had an awesome view. The breeze was perfect too. I wished I was on holiday. I wished I didn't care about what the weather did to my hair.

Source: Google

But Le Pondy is away from the city and doesn't have any public transport available. One should go there only if there is no plan to go elsewhere. Or be up for spending on expensive cabs each time. 


I walked to the most accessible beach in formals and high heels digging in the sand. I was disappointed to see that it was far from a flat land merging with the sea. The steep incline and the high waves made sure I watched from a distance. Yes, I don't know how to swim. But I did hope to go closer in to meet the sea when I went back there in comfortable clothes. 

The walk along Goubert Avenue in the evening helped de-stress a little. It is closed to traffic on weekend evenings. Street food vendors adorned the rocky beach side. The popular Le Cafe, right in the middle of the street, was a good place to sit and chill. I stuffed myself with good food and a chocolate shake there. Followed that up with a search for a nice place for dinner. Milan, some colleagues, and I walked around a little and zeroed in on Le Club for dinner and drinks. Nice place! But I think it was better in the afternoon when I went there the next day with a different set of colleagues.

Promenade Beach


Photo courtesy: Parakram Hazarika

A part of the night at Le Pondy was a little special. The villas we were sharing had a private pool each. To me that did not mean anything. Obviously. But that night Milan and I sat next to it to watch the bright night sky filled with stars. The moon was shining through. Slowly I dipped my legs in that small pool. Next thing I knew - Milan had convinced me to step into the pool. The quiet moonlit night became perfect once my feet found the ground. I could stand comfortably. Then I let go. Milan was talking about various swimming styles. I was just happy cycling under water. :D It was perrrrfect till the time I had to start making an effort to block out the voice of another colleague who walked in and spoke endlessly. 

Our villa and the pool
Source: Google

It was another night of sleep deprivation, but I was going to wake up at 6:00 am for the 6:12 am sunrise on the east coast. The sunrise in Odisha wasn't exactly over the sea, and I really really hoped that this time it would be perfect. 

Four hours of sleep, and I was up and away to the beach. But there were some stupid clouds which completely killed the sunrise for me. Maha stupid clouds! It still didn't happen! :( Nor did I go into the water. Sat on a log by the sea for a while and watched the waves. I don't know if it was the environment or the stress, but this time I could not feel the happiness. I could not relate to the sea. Maybe because of the way that silly beach was. Or maybe because I had expectations this time. I was almost upset. Came back and slept in the room. 

We had half a day to visit the Paradise Beach and the French Quarters. But because I depended on others who were catching up on sleep, I could finally only go to one of the two places. I chose to go see the architecture and colours assuming that the Paradise Beach Island could not be as awesome as some other islands I visited at Andaman earlier in the year. Right choice it was! I finally got some peaceful time with myself. The camera was happy. I was happy.




No clue what this means. Looked pretty, so captured it. :)








I also visited the bakery recommended by Mr. Rajpal - Baker's Street. Slightly overrated, but a quiet meal meant more that day. I also bought food and pastries for those joining us directly from the beach. They were satiated. That made me strangely happy.   

Oh, I also haggled a bit with an auto guy. Felt empowered. :P



The people of Pondicherry are very hospitable and pleasant. Of course, it certainly helps to have not experienced those creepy men which others had to bear with.

On special request, we did a little shoot too.

AU


PK
And somebody offered to click a photo of me too. Missed Priyam and Swetha.

The drive on ECR was beautiful! While going to Pondicherry, it rained all along. All I cared about was what humidity had done to my hair. In retrospect, such pity! The right way to drive there is by sticking your head out of the window. That is the only way to do it.

The trip could have been far better, but I did have some good moments. Cannot deny!

With humidity in my high maintenance hair!



P.S. - I heard Swarathma live. Loved their sound! And of course, hearing them sing Duur Kinara was aweeesomeee!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Maybe.

I wrote you a letter. But I do not have the heart to post it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe another day. Maybe I won't. Maybe I don't want to know the truth. Maybe I don't want you to have the details. Maybe I have too many fears. Maybe I cannot face my own questions. Maybe I will drown it all in the sea. I hope I can. 

With love,
RB


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

This Diwali!


Two rather important men in my life

Bright and shiny!

Grand, we are!

Yes, my latest obsession. The polaroid look!

Flowers ready to bloom in the backyard

Lotsa dry fruits and mithai

And the annual floral rangoli

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Downturn

These days nothing feels better than Porcupine Tree. The late afternoon chocolate is something else. 

Sometimes you need something to numb your nerves. You need something that helps you from getting affected by external factors. And if you are not keen on everyday drinking, this can work. It helps control the hyperventilation.


Trains, on the other hand, helps me focus. I can block out all the unwanted sounds and energies with the help of this song. It acts like that paddle which brings you back to the present. Which helps you snap out. 



I have been sad for many weeks now. Borderline depressed, perhaps. I have been oscillating between accepting and denying it. I have been unwilling to point my finger to a specific issue because I know there are more than one. I know I have taken some things far more personally than I should have. I know I have allowed so much anger to accumulate that I really cannot breathe anymore. I am so angry that I am now complaining about small things, and not discussing any of the real issues with anyone. But I think I am coming to accept that I might need help. Or maybe the thought that I would find help externally is also wrong. I don't know. All I know is I will be even more bitter than I already am if I don't address this now. That is all I know. And I don't think anyone, including me, wants to see me more bitter. Hateful, almost.  

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Till the haze clears

Nobody likes to have an audience for failure. It is easier alone. But is it manageable alone?