Roll the drums!

The way things are unfolding has been fun so far. We had one 'engagement' when he decided to go down his knee, western style. The traditional one follows later this month. Despite being a family affair, it has ended up being a full package with me having to book hair and make-up as well.

The first wedding is also happening later this month - legal style. The preparation for this one has been rather boring - ID cards, applications, witnesses, lawyers, etc. We're told it will be partly entertaining too. But I am more keen to lock in the dates for the actual wedding. Proudly enough, I utilised the recent holiday to do the rounds of all key stores in Delhi and select my lehenga. Yep, blood red, raw silk lehenga. :D It's booked! Don't ask for a picture, I forgot to click one. 

It's finally sinking in. 

Country Next: Six Things I’d Like to Do

After close to a year in a (not-so) new country, I feel there were some things that I used to do earlier but for some reason discontinued after moving base. There are also some new things I should possibly have done but never got around to doing. There are, of course, a number of reasons for this. The biggest one being that there was so much change to deal with that I never had much energy or interest to go beyond what I was already dealing with (good and bad). 

There will likely be even more new things in the next country I move to – fewer dosa joints to begin with - but I think it warrants some extra effort.

Socialise – When you’re alone in a city that has limited ‘cultural’ things to do, the only thing left to socialize over (well, almost) is drinks. So when you’re making an effort to cut that down, you invariably have to compromise on the socialising front as well. Of course, you can be that outgoing person who can talk to anyone about anything under the sun to overcome this challenge, but that isn’t quite me. *laughs*

Hopefully, things will change. I already have a number of people waiting for me to arrive (!). So I will at least have a starting point. And unlike here in the UAE, they are not two hours away from where I live.

Get Back on Twitter – You may want to club this with the first point itself, but I think this social socialising is of a different type. Being social on Twitter means being engaged with the local politics, markets, brands, activities, or other drama. Of course, you can rant endlessly about every minute of your life too, but that isn’t quite me. *laughs*

This past year, I could not keep up with things in India and there was never anything too interesting happening locally. Or maybe I couldn’t relate to things that were happening. I don’t know. But I want to change this. Twitter can be a lot of fun.

Save My Accent – I do not know how I will achieve this given how much my accent has already been influenced by the Americans around me. The thought that I can make it worse in the company of Brits is rather dreadful. 

Play – I gave this one a very genuine attempt this year, but my body tends not to support me in such endeavours. Hopefully, all the walking that I’ll have to do in the new place will help build up some stamina to play or dance or do something else that would stop the bones from getting too old too soon.

Learn - About the place, about its culture, about its nuances. Know the place like I know home. Be qualified to be the GPS (like in Delhi) there too. That should be the goal.

Document Life – 2014 was an eventful year, but I ended up writing the least this year. I would admit that I didn’t miss it much, but the fact that I don’t have anything much to go back and read about makes me sad. I’d rather do it than not. So Fuchsia, let’s take that word count up next year! 

Intolerance Comes Cheap

Through most part of this past year I have observed and been frustrated with huge amounts of baseless commentary about things that people do not seem to like or agree with. 

Today I read two small pieces online, both relevant to what irks me. The first one talked about how youth needs to be rebellious. That that is the only way to move the establishment and bring about change for the better. It made me think. At some level, I agree with the author. Status quo isn't the best. But rebellion is perhaps too strong a word. Our society's problem is not lack of rebellion. Its problem is rebels without a cause or direction. They don't know what they want. While it's always great to at least know what one doesn't want, when we're talking at a societal level that's not enough.      

The other thing that frustrates me is even more widespread. Everyone seems to be so intolerant of everything around them that it is almost suffocating. I am sure not all these people who complain can get a job done more effectively, be more productive, or simply be more accepted. Fine, if your tax money is being wasted by the government, you have the right to raise your voice. But if the old porter is taking a few extra moments to lug your bags, eff off! It's a simple example, but the problem is the same at every level. People have no respect whatsoever for others. Except for established super-rich super-achievers. I truly think people should take a moment to reflect on these words I came across before they go about their rants about others: "Question yourself as fiercely as you question society or others". It might just make the world a better place.

Mrs-to-be

Because I've heard it's life-changing, I suppose my life will change in a month when I sign the dotted line. 

Apparently the process is going to be dramatic. I am glad I've chosen him to experience the drama with. Why, you ask? Have you met him?

For the real wedding, because the law only means so much to a true Punjabi (ahem!), we'll see how it goes. For now, please keep the dhol ready and I'll let you know more once I have a date.

Fair Game

I have come to believe that as much as you strive to strike a balance, life doesn't really believe in that concept. It will always tip in the favour of one part and against another. If your career is going great, you might be struggling with family. If you're happy in your personal life, your health might be screwed up. If all seems well, there'd be a storm chasing you silently. The challenge, and the art, lies in finding enough balance to maintain sanity. That is about it. Expecting more is just unfair.

Renewed Life

For as long as I remember, I always pose for pictures with flowers on my birthday. Everyone around me knows that flowers make me happy, and I always have at least one or two people who send me flowers every September.

This year I didn’t get a bunch of flowers. I got a floral arrangement of diamonds. On a ring.

I haven’t stopped smiling since. God has been kind.

Indian Flavour in the Dunes

As summer was at its peak in the oil zone, life seemed to have slowed down quite a bit. There isn’t necessarily a correlation between the two, but both, the weather as well as other things in general are looking up now.

With that background in place, let me tell you a little about the new things that I have learned recently.

Hashkal! This is a word apparently only known to folks in Abu Dhabi. It’s Arabic, yes, but colloquial enough to not even have reached Dubai. Meaning? The India equivalent of – hold your breath – LS! Yes, the ‘term’ most recently heard in that obnoxious Delhi Girl video. All things down-market have a special word in all languages, isn’t it? I’m still laughing!

The Indian Lane! I was in a room full of Brits and conversations, as usual, were around cultural differences. One of the things that came up was driving etiquette. I obviously didn’t have much to say on this one. But one of the guys did get to explaining how the lane next to the fast lane is referred to as the Indian Lane here. The reason? People in India are taught to keep in the middle lane and even on a five-lane road, they drive at 50 kmph in the second fastest lane. And that same day I spotted two such cars on the road. Pff.

Madrasis! You think only north Indians are ignorant enough to call all south Indians that? FYI - my Pakistani driver folks also call them that. Yes, I am yet to meet a Tam buddy here. Till then, all of Kerala in the Gelf comes from Madras!

Aside: I made conversation with a taxi driver after quite a while today. Actually, he did all the talking. And gave me some really nice biscuits which had been gifted to him by a well-wisher. This is the second time I broke bread with a taxi driver. Last time, it was at Iftar time during Ramadan. The eccentric, talkative guy had refused to eat until I ate some of his super tasty food.

Filipino Delight! These guys are collectively the most pleasant community ever! They may look serious, distressed or even uninterested, but they’ll always be so polite and patient that there is no way on earth you can ignore them or their pleasantries. And now when I go out, I don't look for Indian faces around. (Abu Dhabi does give more choices than Dubai, for sure!) 

Prince Chocolate Biscuits! Yes, these deserve an exclamation mark too. Sure everyone has had good chocolate biscuits at some point in life, but you’ve got to try these (you’ll never have one) to know what I am talking about. Apparently, people who have grown up in this country have been indulging in these for years together. You can never get over them. So I know wherever in the world I go next, instead of importing original Maggi, I shall import these Prince biscuits! :D

Indulgence

A chocolate cake and a long, warm hug - indulgent wishes of the night.

The Outside Perspective

It’s the I-Day week. The tricolour is taking over people’s profile pictures on Facebook. Incidentally, this weekend I also complete six months living away from India. Under the myopic lens, I am glad I have the day off (Friday, the Middle East’s Sunday) or I know I would have cribbed to no end. But my end of day media consumption has triggered an emotion that I have been trying to communicate unsuccessfully since the pre-election days.

 This video on women’s safety in India got me thinking. I won’t go by the title on the page, but it drives home one point for me – that India is home and nothing should make one want to leave it for good. Yes, many people are more practical than that and leave for a more comfortable/peaceful/safer/saner/ life elsewhere. But I take comfort in the fact that I will return sooner than later. Because as hypocritical as we may be as a society, we have the liberty to raise our voice if we want to. There’s the freedom to call a spade a spade if you feel like it. A light exchange with friends led me to say yesterday that the Middle Eastern countries that are peaceful today are those that are politically correct. I don’t think I realized what I said until after I did. And as disheartening as it is to say this, I think we take for granted that being in India allows us to be who we are. I am not saying we don’t have laws that are irrelevant or enforcement agencies that are ineffective or SO MANY PEOPLE who are plain fucked up. But we have our freedom of speech and make no mistake that few things in the world are as repressive as not being allowed to express a thought.     

In the recent months, I have been torn between being tolerant and being impatient towards some of the things that our generation faces or resists in India. I sometimes feel we do not need to react to situations as wildly as we do – the Sachin-Sharapova episode (both sides of the argument) – and at times it’s as if our voices are getting lost in the oblivion – there are endless examples of this, aren’t there? But the reality is that sane voices of change exist and we’ll have to patiently and optimistically wait for a time when we evolve to be a better society. We are messed up as a country, but we have hope. Because we have a voice.

Here’s to a better 68 years, a better generation ahead!

Beloved Visitors

CheChe (coined in today's mint)

My first visitor here! While his trip itself was short, he made the initial days in the city tad easier. Sent me flowers, listened to my endless stories of being lost in the streets, encouraged me through every disastrous hour in the kitchen, gave me tips on navigating the supermarkets and helped through just about every challenge I faced!

While he was here, I got more love.

होंठ पे लिए हुए दिल की बात हम
जागते रहेंगे कितनी रात हम
मुख़्तसर सी बात है
तुम से प्यार है!

Then came Baij! His was a slightly unexpected visit but I was happy as ever to host someone here! I got to know him a little better, chatted at length about cultures and forced a free goody out of him! :D

I had started handing out invites to friends in India even before I had moved here. The first to pick one was none other than PK!

She made a long list of places she wanted to see and things she wanted to do. She talked about how she wanted to make good use of her time here and not be lazy. And she planned a little more. What we really did? Eat, drink and dance! Can one complain about that? No mister!

Latest on the list was my love, Ruhi! We met after over a year and made up for it all in the 24 hours we had together. We cooked, we shopped for food, cooked some more, bought some more food and then went crazy laughing thanks to a sugar rush at midnight!

We kept the ritual of having martinis together and shook on the latest travel-related pact!

Now, while I make a visit home, please get busy with your plan to visit me. 

Wonder

What do you do when your weaknesses start getting the better of you?